2/5

"Ah, yes, I suppose I should show you your captain's as well," Kuma mused. So saying, he walked over to where Luffy was, replaced Cross with him, and then started to push out another bubble of distilled suffering. And then he kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing.

Zoro's eye twitched as he beheld an orb that was bigger than Kuma. "Better not."

The only response Nami could muster was a squeak of agonized terror.

The swordsman let out a tired tsk and shook his head. "Whatever… hey, bear bastard," he said, a glare directed at the Warlord. "We'll do it. Just… let us change the place we do it, alright?" He grunted when Nami looked at him in confusion. "Don't wanna hit anyone by accident while we're…"

The navigator shuddered as she conceded the point, and slowly, painstakingly made her way to her feet, a shaky tendril of clouds moving to offer a hand to the swordsman. "Let's just get this over with before my nerves give out."

And so the two started to walk off into the woods…

~o~

The snail was tearing up by this point, fighting to stay focused. "I, AH, I SPOKE UP THEN. DIDN'T TRY TO STOP THEM, NO POINT IN IT, but… in the end, I, ah… got them to take me with them… COULDN'T JUST… LEAVE THEM ALONE, AFTER ALL. SO THEY… PUT ME on that branch… and I watched. THEY PUSHED INTO THEIR BALLS, and… and…" He started shivering in place, staring at nothing.

"What happened after that?" I asked, as gently but firmly as I could.

Soundbite jerked out of whatever hell he'd been revisiting, allowing himself a massive—if redundant—snort before powering on. "It, uh… n-not much, really. KUMA… H-HE SAW THAT they were still alive, and then, uh… h-he left, easy. YOU GUYS… YOU ALL WOKE UP A BIT AFTER THAT, A-AND HERE WE ARE."

Soundbite was silent after that, probably resting his voice, and nobody spoke, letting the magnitude of what had happened sink in. But it didn't last more than a couple of seconds before Chopper set another bottle of liquid lozenge beside him and moved back towards Nami and Zoro.

"Soundbite, can you give me some specifics on what they went through?" he asked grimly. "I'm sorry, but the more information I have, the better and faster I can make their treatment go."

Soundbite shuddered, but before I could stop him he snatched up the bottle and took a swift chug before spitting it out. I only just managed to catch it before it hit the ground. "The external wounds, they… they did it to themselves. THEY WERE FLAILING ON THE GROUND, SLAMMING INTO ANYTHING NEARBY. Internals though… I-I don't know, I think some was sheer overexertion, but… OTHERS SOUNDED LIKE THEY JUST OPENED SPONTANEOUSLY."

Chopper frowned, tapping intently at his temple. "I recall reading about a few cases of injuries appearing after dreams due to the dreamer suffering intense pain in the middle of the fantasy… perhaps this is the same phenomena, the mind making the fantasy real due to the transference of pain being so accurate?" Closing his eyes, he exhaled, and the madness eased from his still-tense frame. "Alright, that'll help, but… what about the more…" He glanced at Nami, or more specifically her mummified arm.

Soundbite shook his head. "ZORO… he was hurt bad, BUT EVEN THROUGH THE PAIN, THE AGONY, HE COULD PUSH THROUGH IT! AFTER ALL, HE'S ZORO!" For a second, he wore a confident grin, and then the look shattered. "…B-BUT NAMI… she wasn't that strong. She was crying and crying, literally ripping herself to shreds… T-THEN SHE STARTED… T-TO GO FOR HER OWN THROAT. I-I couldn't do anything… so I did THE ONLY THING I could. I SHOUTED MYSELF hoarse for hours, I KEPT TELLING HER SHE WASN'T ALONE, that she could make it through this. I JUST… I COULDN'T LET HER GO THROUGH IT ALONE…"

Soundbite could barely keep swallowing as he finished, tears streaming down his eyestalks. I reached out and patted his shell, as did Sanji and several others.

"You did good, Soundbite," I murmured, and everyone else echoed my words. We watched as he slowly calmed down, the tension that had been present the whole time draining out of him. Then he smiled thankfully and retreated into his shell, asleep in a second. Sanji turned to me, clearly gathering his thoughts, and then, finally, he huffed out a sigh.

"…I'm not misguided enough to keep blaming you now that I know all of the facts, Cross," he said quietly. "But this kind of oversight… the two of them almost died. Even if you knew that we couldn't do anything to change this part of the future… we could have at least changed what came next."

"I get it, and you know that I'm already beating myself up to hell and back for this—"

"Cross."

Luffy's voice ended my babbling almost before it started, the rubber man frowning seriously at me. "You did the best that you could. The only one to blame for this is the World Government. And you already know that Nami doesn't blame you. Zoro won't either. We still beat Thriller Bark, we still beat Moria, and we're all still alive. Don't beat yourself up." He turned to Sanji sternly. "And don't tell him he needs to."

"I'm not." Sanji huffed out a cloud of smoke as he looked me in the eye. "I just want to make sure that we don't end up blindsided like that again. Just… from now on, make sure your plans have a fail-safe for the worst-case scenario, no matter how unlikely it is. That's all I'm asking."

"I…" I searched for a response before finally nodding sadly. "I'll do my best. Though, just to reiterate, in this case there was no viable fail-safe. Going up against Kuma… can't win, can't run. Fighting him's as hopeless as fighting Mihawk again, and Mihawk we can try and run from if he doesn't care enough."

"Just gimme a few years…"

Chopper snapped into his Heavy Point and rammed a needle in Zoro's chest in almost a single move. "I am not," he growled out with as the swordsman slipped back under. "Dealing with him conscious. For three more hours. Any complaints?"

"Nope!" Funkfreed hastily saluted.

"Not a one!" Conis shook her head vigorously.

"TAKE THE WOMAN, SPARE OUR WORTHLESS LIVES!" Mikey wept as he shoved Raphey in front of him—

"ASSHOLE!" WHAM!

—only for her to spin around and clock him something fierce.

"When I'm done with you—!" the pink-bandanna'd dugong swore furiously, ramming flipper into flat—

THWOCK! "GAH!"

Before yelping in shock when a needle rammed into her neck.

"I believe I heard something earlier," Chopper grinned a very twitchy grin at her. "About sucking side wounds?"

Due to how fast she paled, it was hard to tell whether Raphey went down due the drugs in her system or the sheer fear that flooded her brain. Personally? I give it fifty-fifty.

"Now…" He sloooowly rotated his head around so that he could eye the rest of us, faint traces of cyan madness just waiting to be unleashed. "Does anyone else have something they want looked at?"

"Ah, C-Carue! Get me a ride back to Big Bro Sunny, I've got to make sure he's OK!" Merry yelped, swinging onto the duck's back, who shot off like a bullet.

"HEY, THAT'S MY DUCK! GET BACK HERE!" Vivi shouted, sprinting after the pair as fast as her own bandages allowed. Which, considering how he was a supersonic duck, was pretty admirably fast.

"Uh, wh-why don't we start looting the manor? Get a niiice and sizeable horde going so we can appease Nami once she's up?" Donny suggested in a panicked voice. He waited for a response…

"All in favor? Guys?"

Before finally realizing his fellow pupils had already ditched him, a dust cloud indicating their route, and he zipped off after them.

"Welp!" Boss stretched energetically, wholly ignoring the swathe of bandages wrapped around his chest. "I'm not going to let something as trivial as a hole in my chest—or several—slow me down. Time to get right back to training." He then snapped a flipper up, nonchalantly catching a syringe-dart out of the air moments before it struck his neck. "Sorry, Doctor, but my schedule trumps your ord—GRRK!"

Unfortunately, his gloating left him open to the second syringe that found itself lodged in his flipper.

"Whale… barnacles…" THUD!

Aaaaand that was him down.

"…Well, then. With your permission, Doctor, I believe I'll go investigate the mouth-gate to see if Absalom is still there," Robin said with a cool smile that fooled absolutely no one, walking off into the forest at a slightly too-brisk clip. Sanji glanced between her retreating form and the unconscious Nami presided over by Chopper, sighed, and followed after Robin into the woods.

"Franky, you know the way to the kitchen, yes? Could you lead me there?" Brook asked, actually sounding entirely casual. Either he really wasn't scared (probably foolish enough to think that Chopper didn't have a way to down him at a moment's notice) or he was just… really good… at hiding his… no, he was just an idiot. "It's just that I'm parched you see. Why, you could even say that I'm—!"

"Yeah yeah, bone dry, hilarious, let's go!" And then they were gone.

"Hey, Luffy! I think I just saw a ghost! You wanna go ghost hunting? Let's go ghost hunting!" Usopp exclaimed, dragging Luffy along with him… or at least, his arm, which was presently stretching out while Luffy stared curiously after Usopp. Now, he was obviously oblivious.

"Eh? What are you talking about, Usopp?" Luffy asked with honest curiosity. "All the ghosts on the island were fakes, remember? There aren't any real ones… here, anyways. How come you're lying? And why's everyone so scared of Cho—?"

"JUST GET OVER HERE ALREADY!"

"WAH!" Luffy yelped when he was suddenly jerked out of his seated position by a particularly hard yank.

I watched after them with a bit of amusement before glancing to my side. The transceiver was still there, thank goodness; no matter what our crew had done, I wouldn't have put it past Kuma to abscond with it. I made to lift the flap—

TH-TH-TH-TH-TH-THUNK!

And then my hand froze as half a dozen scalpels embedded themselves in said bag, tracing around my fingers in such a way that twitching a millimeter would draw blood. Veeeery slowly, I turned my head, and beheld a pair of pure cyan eyes glaring back at me.

"Jeremiah Cross," Chopper intoned darkly. "I have been pushed to my limits even more than Enies over the last several hours, and this is pushing me even more. As soon as I finish restocking my supplies, I am going to sedate myself and spend the next few days sleeping off my exhaustion. So, while I have the chance, I am giving you a doctor's order: do not do anything that would invite the chance of the Marines sending someone to track us down and finish us off before I wake up, or I will tear your limbs out of their sockets and have Sanji prepare them FOR MY DINNER. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," I squeaked. Once he turned away from me, I frowned as I considered what to do; doctor's orders aside, with Soundbite out cold, I wouldn't be making any broadcasts or calls anytime soon. I looked over the few that were still left, and nodded as I decided on a plan of action.

"Hey, Conis, could you teach me how to shoot… basically anything that's a sane caliber for people to carry? I'm not planning on using a pistol anytime soon, but I'd be more comfortable if I could hold one without having to worry about a case of leadfoot."

"Oh? Sure thing, Cross," Conis smiled, unstrapping one of her spare pistols and handing it to me.

"What about us, Cross?" Lassoo asked, some indignation in his voice.

"You two are going to be working on something else entirely. And the same goes for you, Su," I ordered, my serious tone causing all three of them to straighten. "I want you to go through what's left of the manor, every nook and cranny, and then comb over the island itself. If by some miracle we missed any zombies, salt them and free them. But more importantly, keep your eyes, ears, noses, and anything else you have available open for the Mysterious Four. If you find any of them, report back to the Sunny; none of them should be combat ready if they're still here, but I think we can all agree we don't need to deal with another sneak attack. Got it?"

"You can count on us, Cross!" Funkfreed saluted proudly.

Su, meanwhile, grinned widely before jumping onto Lassoo's back and jabbing a paw forward. "Mush, faithful steed!" she sang.

"This 'faithful steed' is gonna chew your tail off…" Lassoo grumbled, but he still started trotting off in the indicated direction, Funkfreed following close behind.

That done, Conis and I both headed off in the general direction of the Sunny. Going by how neither of us wound up taking an anesthetic-aided dirt nap after a few steps, I'm fairly certain that Chopper begrudgingly approved.

-Three Hours Later-

Sunny, once again decked out in paper lanterns to shine like his namesake, fairly glowed in the dreary fog of the Florian Triangle. Part of my mind dwelled on that part as I secured my headphones and took aim at the bull's-eye again. In canon, Thriller Bark had wound up sailing out of the Florian Triangle by sheer dumb luck courtesy of Oars-Luffy messing with the sailing, which of course hadn't happened here. I grimaced at that; sure, we still had the Log Pose, but I didn't fancy staying in this dead sea any longer than we needed to. And after the literal nightmares of this island, I was seriously aching ready to see the sun again. Hell, I'd even take the moon and the stars if they were available, just so long as it meant I wasn't being strangled anymore. And I knew I wasn't the only one with this opinion either.

I fired twice, frowning slightly as I took in the placements of my bullets: an improvement from an hour ago, but a long shot from perfect. Like my plans, it seemed. Sure, I had spared the time to discreetly sneak another glance at Luffy's (read: Ace's) Vivre Card before coming back to the Sunny, and it was as whole as ever… but Kuma still came.

Even if forewarning wouldn't have made a difference, and even if it hadn't been due to the SBS, I should have figured he was going to come, and I should have acted on it. Maybe then Zoro and Nami…

I shook my head, refocusing my body on shooting while I let my mind focus on matters to come. The past was the past, and it sucked, but that was it. Instead of wallowing, I had to focus on what was pertinent: that we'd be seeing Kuma again sooner rather than later, and that I needed to start thinking about what I'd do when that time—

THWACK!

"Yeow!" I yelped, clapping a hand to the new lump I had growing on the back of my head. Damn it, note to self, start wearing my hat more religiously, but for now—! "What the hell was that for!?" I snapped at an irritatingly pleasant Conis, who even had the gall to keep her hand in a post-chop position.

"'That', as you call it, was what we White Berets tend to do when our trainees fail to properly focus when they're in the middle of training," Conis sunnily answered, her smile never wavering. "I hope you honestly don't think I'm going to cut you any slack just because you're only doing this as a 'just-in-case' skill. I won't have you disgracing me as a White Beret~!"

I frowned in protest. "But I—!"

THWACK!

"Mother—!" I clapped my free hand over my throbbing brow.

"Now, Cross," Conis admonished, shaking her finger at me as though she were disciplining a child. "Unless whatever you're thinking about is liable to kill us all in the next few minutes if you don't think about it, then I'm sure you can take a break, even if just for a bit!" Her pleasant demeanor then crumbled into worried fretting. "…uuuunless whatever it is you're thinking about actually could kill us all if you don't think about it, in which case please carry on thinking about it post haste. Could it?"

I spent a few seconds gaping in awe of her emotional 180… "Pft!" Before hiding a chuckle behind my fist, my tension slipping out along with it. "No… no, you're right, a few minutes won't be the death of us…" I raised my pistol back into a ready position, and focused intently on my target. "So, I'll just have to use it making sure that it'll be the death of someone else!"

Conis smiled anew, stepping back and giving me a thumbs up. "Clear!"

BL-BL-BLAM!

I set the gun down and waited with bated breath as Conis stepped up to inspect the target, cupping her chin as she looked over it. A second later, she nodded. "Three hits… two on the outermost circle and… one just grazing the bullseye? Not bad at all, Cross!"

"Tsk, speak for yourself…" I let out a frustrated sigh, scratching the back of my neck. "Come on, I habitually hit ten for ten with a two-ton cannon, shouldn't my aim with a markedly lower caliber weapon be better?"

"Hweehwee, you hit jack, loudmouth."

I cast a disgruntled glance over my shoulder as our search party returned, Lassoo leading them with an annoying smirk on his muzzle. "Something you wanna add to the conversation, howlitzer?"

"Just that you're glossing over my part in your prior bouts of applied firepower," Lassoo sniffed haughtily. "You point me in the right directions and hold me steady, while I do the itty-bitty work! Alone? You can't hit a target worth spit! Hweehwee—!"

"Wanna see how well I can plant my boot between your legs?" I asked flatly, tapping the toe of my greave on the lawn.

"—YIP!" I was subsequently treated to the unique sight of a dog trying to cross its hindlegs in desperate panic. "I'll be good, I'll be good!"

"Anyway," Funkfreed cut in, drawing my attention away from the mutt. "We couldn't find Moria or any of his lackeys. The rest of the crew even helped us out, but… it looks like they're truly gone."

"And all of the zombies have been purified, too," Lola added as she came up onto the deck, waving in greeting. "The only shadows left on this island are all in their proper places. Though…" She scowled irritably. "I'm of two minds about the fact that our tormentors aren't here anymore. Any ideas where they've gotten off to?"

"Hrmph…" I cupped my chin in thought. "If I had to guess? Kuma must have taken them with him when he left. Hogback's got a lot to answer for, and heinous though he might be, Moria is still a Warlord, and the other two's Devil Fruits are useful besides, so—"

"No… that's not… RIGHT…"

"Soundbite?" I asked in surprise, snapping my attention over to the barrel where my snail had been snoozing. Now, however, he was clearly newly awakened and blinking blearily at us. "What do you mean?"

"Forgot until now, but…" Soundbite loosed a jaw-cracking yawn before continuing. "KUMA DIDN'T TAKE MORIA. He took Hogback, yeah… but that's it. I HEARD HIM SEARCHING AFTER… THAT, BUT HE COULDN'T FIND HIM. ABSALOM TOO… and Perona for that matter. Hogback was arrested nice and clean, but the rest of THE MYSTERIOUS FOUR… THEY'RE JUST GONE…"

"Cross?" Su eyed me warily.

"I…" I frowned in thought. "I don't know. Normally, I'd guess they did the same thing they did in the story: take the backup ship that they had stashed here and sail away to regroup, but…" I shook my head slowly. "With Moria in the state he was in, and without Hogback around… I… honestly don't have a clue…"

"So they're just… gone?" Lola confirmed slowly. She shook her head in awe as she took it all in. "I… just don't know how to feel about that. To think that everything, well, evil about this place could just disappear like that. It almost doesn't seem real, you know?"

"Well…" Soundbite offered slowly. "I think I can give you ONE EXPLANATION…"

"Oh, yeah?" Su sneered. "What's—gah!"

Our powderfox's exclamation didn't need an explanation, as we were all made aware of a slight bit of misinformation. Despite our expectations, we actually weren't in the Florian Triangle anymore. Or rather, going by how some fog still hung over the island's sky, we were on the very edge of it. While half of the island was still shrouded in fog, a look the east made it impossible to think we weren't outside the Triangle.

After all, the first light of day shining over us couldn't happen in that dead fog.

"It's the sunrise," Conis breathed.

"And there's your explanation…"

"Soundbite?" I blinked at him in surprise.

My partner responded with a wry grin before starting to speak.

"If we shadows have offended,

Think but this, and all is mended—

That you have but slumbered here

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme,

No more yielding but a dream."

We were all silent for a bit as we mulled it over. After chasing a few thoughts down their rabbit holes, I decided to give him a flat look as I scooped him onto my shoulder. "… OK, that's nice, but seriously."

"Fucked IF I know!" Soundbite shrugged unashamedly.

"Also, wasn't there another line after that last one?" Funkfreed queried.

"Oh, shut up and let it RHYME."

I chuckled at the exchange, and then perked up as a thought occurred to me. "Ooh, now that I think about it, if ever there were a time—!" I turned in the direction of the manor… and slumped in disappointment when the horizon remained frustratingly silent. "Aww…"

"What did you think was going to happen?" Conis tilted her head expectantly.

"Zoro and Nami would wake up and then Zoro and Luffy would start raising a ruckus. Come on, the timing would have been perfect!"

"Yeah, too perfect!" Lola snorted in amusement as she finally tore her gaze away from the rising sun. "Come on, that'd be clichéd as anything! What, do you think this is some comic or something?"

We Straw Hats all considered that statement for a moment, before leaving Lola as the confused odd-woman-out as we all collapsed into fits of mad laughter.

-o-

"So… how bad is it?" Nami asked, her voice almost cracking.

I flinched, glancing away from her as I tried to think of the right thing to say.

An hour or two after the sun had risen and dispelled the last of the shadows that were haunting Thriller Bark, our crew had all regrouped in the manor's ruins where Chopper had been tending to our crewmates. We'd been partway through discussing whatever the hell our next step was supposed to be, but we'd been interrupted by more pressing matters. Namely that, thanks to Chopper's improved IQ and medical skills and their very slightly lessened injuries (relatively speaking), Nami and Zoro had woken up far sooner than I'd expected. This, quite predictably, resulted in a pause in our discussions in favor of handling that particular ball of worms.

Currently, everyone was occupied with their own affairs. Chopper, for his part, had apparently conked himself out the moment the sun had risen, and was snoozing away in Nami's lap.

Conis was running long-overdue maintenance on her arsenal, triaging what could and couldn't be salvaged while Su lent a paw where needed. Usopp and Franky had excused themselves to go start working on… some project or other.

Sanji had run off to where the Rolling Pirates had started stockpiling supplies, in order to prepare the battery of dishes most everyone would need once they realized just how hungry they were. Leo, Mikey and Donny were all in the midst of committing what I was silently defining as an involved form of suicide by practicing their… artistic stylings on the still-sedated forms of Raphey and Boss.

And everyone else, well… they were all occupied with watching the little 'show' that was going on in the background.

Hence, that left me in the nominally uncomfortable situation of having to speak with Nami, who was currently fingering the bloodied bandage that covered her left shoulder.

For those of you who have a hard time remembering, that would be the shoulder where Nami's tattoo was located.

Or, to put it another way, that was the arm that Nami's free right hand had been able to claw into while she was trapped in the throes of my agony.

"It's not… completely ruined, if that's what you're worried about," I attempted to reassure her. "For the most part, it's fine."

Nami's fragile expression wavered as she ran her fingers through Chopper's fur. "But the part that isn't?"

I flinched, glancing to the side as I cursed just how damned sharp she was. "…you ripped off one of the pinwheel's larger arms. Not the one with the tangerine on it, don't worry!" I hastily reassured her when she suddenly flinched. "…but still. Ah, but! Fret not, I took the time to ask around the Rolling Pirates, and there's a tattoo artist ready and waiting. Just give them the design, and it'll be good as new—!"

"'For the most part'." I flinched as Nami brought up the one thing I hoped she wouldn't. "That's what you're not saying, right?"

I scratched the back of my neck with a pained grimace, because… well, she really wasn't wrong. Besides tearing the hide off her shoulder, Nami had also left her own mark on her skin below her shoulder too. Nothing crippling, thank goodness, but… well, no matter what world you're from, bloody claw marks just do not scar well.

I was wrenched out of my thoughts by Nami heaving a massive sigh and clapping her hands together. "Well!" she announced with a sunny expression. "Guess that's that. Damn, and I had a rough enough time getting it on the first time, now this is just going to suck."

I blinked dumbly at our navigator. "Uh… seriously? That's your reaction?!"

Nami shot a catty grin at me. "What, did you expect me to break down or something because my tattoo got a little ripped up? Especially after you just told me that you've already found a way for me to fix it? Psh, come on, Cross, there's no way your opinion of me is that low!" Sticking her tongue out at me, she continued, "I think I actually am hurt, hurt beyond all belief! Big meanie~!"

"Ah, well… what about the—?"

"Scars? Come on, Cross…" She heaved an exaggerated sigh as she raised her shoulders in a shrug of defeat. "Your memory must be some kind of sieve or something. Remember this?" She held her palm up to me and pointed out a… pale line on her…

"Oooh, right, forgot about that," I said, grabbing my own hand in sympathetic throbbing.

"Yup~" Nami sang casually. "As you can see, I'm thoroughly familiar with how the pirate life can leave you marked. It's totally fine, no need to worry about me! After all!" She grabbed her non-injured bicep and flexed it proudly. "I'm the infamous Weather Witch, a world-class scrooge and Second Mate of the Straw Hat Pirates! Nothing can bring me down!"

"Uh, well… if you're—?"

"You realize you just spouted that shit in front of someone WHO CAN READ YOUR HEART RATE LIKE A BOOK, RIGHT?" Soundbite flatly stated.

And just like that I re-tensed as Nami suddenly flinched. "Soundbite, you little—!"

"I-It's alright, Cross," Nami reassured me, looking away as a few key parts of her visage crumbled—a twitching eye here, a trembling cheek there, all very hesitant—and betrayed her true feelings. "Fine, so I was affected by what I went through, who the hell wouldn't be? That was… Kuma wasn't kidding when he said he'd put us through hell. But!" Nami took a very slow and deliberate breath before looking me dead in the eye, true steel gleaming in her gaze. "As bad as that was, it still doesn't compare to eight straight years sitting in that damn room wishing for death. I'm used to it, I'll deal with it in my own time, and for the moment I. Am. Fine. Alright?"

I glanced back at Soundbite, who was frowning but didn't say anything. Ultimately, I decided that if I could trust her with my life, I might as well put a little faith in her now. "Well… alright, if you say so. But if you need to talk or anything—!"

"Then I should clamp your maw shut and make you listen to me for a change? Can do!" Nami snickered into her fist.

I glanced away with a scowl. "Well, you don't need to say it quite like that…"

"Still, while we're talking about how each of us is feeling…" I looked back to Nami and caught her scrutinizing me intently. "How about you? Are you feeling alright?"

"Um… pretty much, yeah?" I asked more than anything. "Better than I have in a while, which you of all people should know better than anyone."

"Well, I only ask because…" Nami slowly turned her head to cast a flat glare at the madness going on in the background. "Well, if you're feeling alright, how come you're not putting on the same show that our beloved captain is?"

I glanced in the same direction, taking in the sight of Luffy leaning over Zoro's bed and Zoro leaning up towards him, both of them butting heads and shouting their lungs out at each other. It seemed like even Luffy didn't need to be told not to aggravate Zoro's wounds by way of percussive maintenance (though that may have only been because of how Chopper's snoring kept spiking whenever he started to move), but at the same time, he wasn't taking what his first mate had done lying down.

Buuut it was sort of hard to take them seriously considering that they seemed to be yelling more for the sake of yelling than anything. Most comical way to blow off stress I had seen since the journey started.

"Yeeeeaaaah, I guess I can understand your confusion…" I muttered, scratching my head. "I mean, if you want me to shout at you for being an idiot I can, but… honestly, I'm satisfied with just calling you guys idiots. Which, by the way, you are."

"Hey, we saved your—!" Nami started to snap—

CLONK!

"Ow!" she yelped, cradling the spot where I'd chopped her noggin.

"You willingly walked into massive-ass bubbles of pure pain while already on the verge of death!" I snapped, shaking my finger at her. "That is the textbook definition of the word stupid!"

Nami growled bloody murder at me, before glancing away, mouth drawn into a surprisingly cute pout. "If it's stupid and it works—"

CLONK!

"That only applies when we do it, moron!" I shouted as I shook my hand out. Damn, and I thought Luffy had a tough skull.

"DO YOU REALIZE HOW INSANELY HYPOCRITICAL YOU SOUND RIGHT NOW!?" Nami roared in my face, teeth in full-on shark mode.

"PIRATE, BITCH, WHATCHA GONNA DO!?" I roared right back.

Nami sucked in a deep breath to continue yelling. Then her mouth closed as she finally noticed the shit-eating grin I was sporting. "…you're just screwing with me, aren't you?"