Fifteen

As everything was getting good, everything got worse, Helena was having more bad days then she was having good days, she was in and out of coma episodes and the doctors were slowly losing her and using ideas on how to keep her having good days.

"We are thinking of stopping the treatments, we aren't seeing positive results from these so we think it wouldn't be beneficial for her to keep going through these" I heard Dr Wheeler said to the parents as I was holding onto Helena's lifeless hand as I was sat on Vincent's lap and he was rubbing my legs for support, "they can't be serious" I whispered as Vincent kissed my shoulder as I shook my head "Vinnie, they can't stop the treatment, she will get better she just needs a different treatment, there has to be something" I whispered as he sighed "Lilah, if there isn't anything they can do, you have to trust them, remember what you told me, everyone has to go one day, you can't stop the inevitable" he said as I shook my head and looked over at him "no I take that back, I was In the cancer mind frame, you told me not to think like that" I spoke aggressively as he started rubbing my shoulders and kissing my back softly "sometimes it's the truth, I know you want her to live forever but that just isn't factual" he said as I was holding back tears, she has to be okay, she has to stay alive for me, she's done it once why can't she do t twice.

"This can't happen" I screamed as my mum and Patricia, Dr Wheeler and Zack jumped and turned to face me as Vincent pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around my arms "babe please calm down, Helena loves you and is thankful for everything that you've done for her" he whispered into my ear as I curled up into his body and sobbed my little heart out, he wrapped his arms around me a little harder and I just took in his scent and just his warmth, in that moment I was broken and nothing could glue me back together.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The drive home was dreadful, nobody was speaking and the sound of the radio was being to get on my nerves, it was just so annoying the voices and the music just didn't match the atmosphere, "can you turn this crap off" I shouted as my mum jumped and Patricia jumped to turn off the music "sure" she whispered as I rested my head on Vinnie's shoulder and closed my eyes, "so the doctors have said we may have to turn off Helena's life support" my mum spoke up as the tension in the car changed and Vinnie's hand slipped into mine, his thumb brushing over my hand as Zack just didn't move, "who's dumb idea was that" I spat as My mum looked into the car mirror and Patricia looked back at me, "It was the doctors who advised it and they have allowed us to sleep on it" Patricia added looking at me with a frown as I rolled my eyes and Vinnie sighed, "whatever is better for her" Zack spoke up sounding a little broken and tired, I looked over at him and reach out my other hand to him, he took it and I squeezed it a little, he smiled at me and looked down at our hands, "we have to put her out of her misery Delilah, as much as well don't want her to go, if she is in pain I don't want her to be, she deserves to be painless and in peace" he said as Patricia smiled over at Zack and then looked over at me, "we all love her and it's the hardest choice for a mother to make" she added as I slowly nodding understanding that I was being a little selfish.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

"she knows how much you mean to her" Vinnie whispered as we were in curled up in my bed drifting off to sleep, he was anyway, I was wide awake just thinking about how much pain and discomfort Helena was in, was she? I mean what does a coma feel like? I thought it was like sleeping? but maybe I was wrong, maybe a coma is the same as living, is she able to dream? does she dream about a better place where she is in pain?

"Lilah, I need you to get some sleep, I can't sleep if I know you are up" Vinnie said as he had his arm wrapped around my stomach and was now tracing shapes into it, his eyes barely open, "I know I should be, I can't help but think she is in pain, she's in pain while being in a coma" I said as I looked over at him as he adjusted himself so that he was resting his head on his hand and looking over at me, "she will be in pain but not for long, Lilah you have to let her go, she will always be in your heart, tomorrow will be painful but you have to understand that this is for the best and she won't hate you for it" he said as a tear fell down my face, "I didn't want to lose her, she was the best thing that came out of wanting to die, she just started fancying Zack, she found someone that she could call a brother, she had so much ahead of her" I sobbed as he sat up and pulled me up with him, "Zack will always love her, that guy is whipped on her, he knew what was going to happen and still gave her his all, you have a memory to remember her by when she does pass on, that is the best kind of gift she could ever give you, she made our bond the strongest it's ever been" he said as he wiped my tears from my face and he pulled me into his chest "now let's get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be a challenging day" he added as I nodded, he leant back into his pillow and we fell asleep.