Eighteen

As soon as I got home, boy! did my face hit that pillow so hard I think I knocked myself out cold, I was exhausted from everything and to think that the party was supposed to be a chill way of me moving on from Helena is ridiculous now looking back, partying? doing the exact thing she got to do maybe 3 times in her lifetime, sucks.

I had fallen asleep so fast that the next time I woke up I heard the loudest thud I could have ever heard in my life, and it was coming from inside the house, it must have been what maybe 4 or 5 am so it was still pretty much dark outside and there was no reason for my mum to be up at this time of the morning, a bad gut feeling was tapping away at me and I just lay there for a bit to see if any noise was going to come after this big thud, but nothing did.

I got out of bed and opened up my door and looked over the balcony, nobody was there so I slowly made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where the devil himself must have missed me because Jesus Christ, "mum!" I screamed as she was laid out cold on the floor, I rushed over and checked her pulse and that was still intact which was good but she looked yellow and pale and definitely not how she looked an hour ago or so when she picked me up.

I ran to the corridor phone and dialled 911 and asked for the ambulance services

operator - 911 what's your emergency?

me - Please can you send an ambulance to 95 Herrington Road asap, I have just found my mum passed out of the kitchen floor yellow as anything, I have checked her airwaves and she is in the thing position"

Operator - Ok, we will get one to you right away I need you to stay on the phone with me, can you tell me how it happened?

Me - I heard a thud coming from downstairs and then came down and she was on the floor non-responsive

Operator - okay Miss they the ambulance should be there shortly.

And within a few minutes the ambulance was storming through the door and rushing over to my um, I backed up and watched the sights before me, "Okay we need to get her to hospital, I think we need to monitor her closely" one of the paramedics said as a stretcher was brought in and she was wheeled away with me closely behind her.

"Has your mum been taking any medication or changed her medication at all? she hasn't been finding it hard to sleep recently do you know?" the paramedics bombarded me with questions as soon as we got in the ambulance and where setting off to the hospital. It's 5 O clock in the morning do you really think I have the brain capacity to be able to give any answers, I looked up from my mum and shrugged "I mean I am not sure she is always taking care of me, I have Cancer, I have never seen her take any type of medication when I am around".

That is when it hit me, who was taking care of mum for all these years? what was she doing to make sure that she was causing herself any damage? she wasn't. She was taking care of everybody else and making sure she could keep the ones she had alive and not actually taking a minute to herself, I felt horrible, we should of be able to have a girl's day out and just enjoy each other's company, or have a night in with the family instead of running around after me or dwelling over my brother and then dwelling even more after my dad, we should have been able to enjoy what we had and not become accustomed to what we didn't have.

I looked down at my mum and took a hold of her hand as she laid there just about breathing, it was almost like she was asleep, I wish that she didn't have to feel like she had to be strong for everyone else, I was recovering and even if it was the second time with bad news that pressure shouldn't have been on her.

When we arrived to the hospital she was rushed straight into the scans room and I was left to wait in the waiting room until further instructions, the only thing about that was it was slowly going to be 7am and well my medication can't walk itself to a hospital and I am not really in the mood to ask doctors and Nurses for my medication because of the stress that comes with the "what for?".

"I came as soon as I heard" came the familiar voice of Patricia, and boy was I happy to see her, I stood up and she engulfed me in a hug, I had previously while in the ambulance text her using the emergency number, when you get to the level Helena and I were at your parents either never miss a call from your number or have a duff phone that is literally only used when someone is dying or have signs of dying, which my mum has signs of dying, "How is she? have you spoken to her?" Patricia asked as I shook my head and we sat down "no last time I saw her she was getting rushed into the scans room" I said as she weakly smiled and flung her shoulder over me pulling me as close as the cold metal chairs would let us get, "she is a trouper she will be alright, just glad you heard her when you did otherwise God knows how long she would have been out for" I nodded and we sat in comfortable silence for a while.

"I did bring your medication, I dropped by the house before heading over here and knew that you wouldn't make it home for your injections and medication so brought it here, we can probably go into the bathroom and I can help you out" Patricia nudge me as I smiled at her and rest my head on her shoulder "lifesaver, I was worried that I'd have to ask the nurses, I don't think Doc is working this early in the morning" I stated as she nodded.