Chapter Two

So Far Away ~ Martin Garrix ft David Guetta

Caitlin

After my mom left, I went back to my apartment and took care of a few things before laying on my bed. Different thoughts ran through my head, ranging from my insecurities to the excitement I feel at the thought of going to school the next day. I felt anxious at the prospect of all this being real.

Well I think I need music to get my mind from overthinking things. Chris brown? Nah I'm thinking more like a little mix, no, I'll go with Nicki and twerk my stress away, yeah sounds like a good idea. I'm gonna start with " itty bitty", and pick up other songs along the line.

Dancing for hours got me feeling exhausted but level headed. My anxieties were tucked away into the deepest part of my subconscious and I could breathe again.

Okay! we need to come up with a few rules to keep you in check.

Rules to accompany me: "Caitlyn IIvonen Pearce". Everyday so as to not go astray.

Seems too long for a headline but it is what it is, so….

No friends– not gonna be an issue since I'm antisocial

Steer clear of guys or any psycho bitch– yeah definitely don't want no one messing with my head and don't need no psycho bitch drama

Attain good grades– yeah very necessary, distinction is the goal.

Healthy feeding– nah that's definitely gonna be an issue but I'll work something out

No acting foolish and catching feelings– easy peasy or so I thought not until… .

There were some other things to write but these were the ones that seemed important and crucial. Just three years and I'll be outta here before I know it. Yeah it'll all be over before I know it. Only if I knew it wasn't gon' be that easy. Time for bed gotta get up early tomorrow.Thirty minutes later and I'm still tossing around on my bed trying to get some sleep which seemed too much of a possibility I could only wish for.

The next few days passed in a flurry of activity as I prepared for school to begin. As much as I tried to talk myself into believing that I was gonna be okay and fit in just right, I knew it was only a lie I decided to sell myself for my sanity. I Don't want to be a nervous wreck on my first day of school though I know my chances of controlling my nerves are as slim as Chelsea winning the match today. As you might have noticed I love sport and I'm a big Chelsea fan, shocked right? I get that a lot.

Grabbing my towel, I headed for the showers. Only to come out a moment later as my shower had stopped working for some mysterious reason, like come on I need to go grocery shopping today. I tried and tried to get it to work but the damn thing just wouldn't work, even if it just squirts the water on me I'll be cool as long as my skin's wet with something other than my sweat. As a last resort I jumped up and gave the shower head my best ninja kick and to my surprise water gushed out of the tiny holes of the showerhead. I squealed, surprised and hurriedly got rid of the towel wrapped around my body as I got under the shower.

The hot water cascaded down my back, giving me the kind of chills you get when you’re cozy and enjoying something completely pleasurable. After the little workout I had while trying to get this thing to work, spending an hour here is the least I can do after all my hardwork.

I ended up lounging under the exhilarating pressure of the shower for longer than an hour. After coming out wrapped in my towel I went to my walk-in closet and got dressed. After which I picked my purse, and car keys and skipped out of my room, as I played a sad song on my phone and connected it to the headphone I was wearing, which I have a lot of in different colors and brands.

finally! I can get my ass home and enjoy some me time. Shopping was never my thing, but I have to do it except I want to be skin and bones by the end of this semester, which is definitely not a part of my plan. Singing along to Billie Eilish's song "Bad guy", I skipped, more like trudging in the direction of the cafe across the road, breathing like I walked two hundred miles. I'm flipping out of shape but who cares? I do but don't at the same time.

"Latte, please", I ordered after multiple attempts to grab the attention of the poor girl who manned the counter and handed her the money. The man on the next counter quickly handed me my coffee in a small paper cup. Our hands touched for a brief moment, I smiled as he made a move at me. "Sorry not interested", I thought to myself.

One Americano, two Expresso", a voice from behind me ordered. I turned to leave, at the same time with the person behind me causing us to bump into each other and spill my coffee on the two of us.

"What the actual f**k", I said as I looked up at the person that had crashed into me. ""Holy sheetrock", I thought as I gazed at the hot specimen before me.

" Are you okay?", the girl behind the counter asked. " Yeah, I'm all good", I answered only to notice who her question was directed at, it wasn't me. I scoffed indignantly and turned to leave, careful not to bump into anyone else, not forgetting to pick up the grocery bags I'd dropped on the tiled floor of the cafe.

He couldn't even offer a word of apology, what an ass. " Furking spilled everything", I muttered and pissed as I reached the glass door separating me from the outside world. "Dang waste".

"Wait up", a voice from behind called out, it belonged to the man that handed me my coffee earlier, I realized. I know I probably should have stopped as a show of respect or something but I couldn't care less about it and instead walked out of the cafe into the crowded street.

"Humph", I released as I sprawled on my bed, before feeling my bed for my phone to check the message that came in. 'Mitchewwww', I hissed as I saw it was a spam message. It's been a while since I last spoke with my boyfriend and as much as I pretend to be unaffected by his not-so-caring persona I was, it hurts to be ignored by someone you care about not to talk of someone you love, it broke my heart knowing I cared too much to overlook his blunders and keep striving to keep our relationship in a not-so-perfect fit. I wanted him to be happy but being with him doesn't guarantee my own happiness now or in the future. I feel like cutting things off with him but my heart wouldn't let me have my way.

For a while now I've felt some sort of crack in our relationship. I'd like to blame it on the distance but deep down I know it isn't. Sometimes I feel like the only one tryna make things work but all this aside I miss him, miss us and what we used to be.

As a way of redirecting my train of thoughts I logged in on my TikTok account and within a few minutes I had totally forgotten what it was that had gotten me upset.

"Hey what's up, how was your day?".

Popped up on my notification bar indicating I have a message from my "loving boyfriend" note my sarcasm.

"Good and yours?" I texted back, already bored with the chat.

"Same", was his monotonous reply, I rolled my eyes as if it wasn't anything new.

"Anything for the boys?"He typed after a couple of minutes, eliciting a groan from me.

I was tired of the same boring questions he asks every god-damned day. Like it gets really tiring bro.

"Nothing", was my dry response

'`whatcha doin today?"I asked desperately for an interaction but I was once again disappointed as I've been every other time I'd tried connecting with him.

"Nothing much and you? ". " Same", was my one word reply.

" Ok, hope you aren't stressed? " . He asked, sounding bored, or maybe I'm the one imagining things but it is what it is.

"How was your day?"I asked, not answering his question, and he didn't bother to ask again, and I felt the hole crack again, a few splinters stabbing my oversensitive heart, and I once again suppressed the pain. I've been doing that lately.

"Fine".

" I'm coming to Alabama next week and will stay till after the new year". I said happily.

" Why? For what? Won't you be wasting money ? ", He asked very quickly if I didn't know any better I'd find him suspicious or Maybe I did deep down.

" You know Christmas break and what not".

"Yeah sure so when are you coming? I've missed you", he asked huskily.

" Prolly next weekend", I answered.

" What did you miss about me anyways?" I asked playfully with a little curiosity.

" Everything, you know", was his vague reply

" No I don't", I deadpanned.

" Your voice, your sexy lips, your p****, you know? Everything about you", he added and I smiled.

" Only that?", I asked jovially but my heart wasn't, as I could feel another crack.

"Well everything about you", he said, sounding a little defensive.

"Oh,ok", was the only thing I could come up with.