Chapter One

Pray ~ BNXN

Caitlin

"We are leaving for NYU tomorrow" , my mum said to me as soon as I entered the living room and I screamed like I was crazy. As I jumped to give her a hug, which I'd never done until now, I could see the shock on her face which was immediately covered with a smile. She was happy I could tell, but I could also see the doubts she's been tryna hide, which dampened my mood a little but not for long. I called my boyfriend to share the good news with him but as usual I was met with disappointment, for a while now I noticed my feelings weren't as strong as they used to be, I shoved the thought off my mind and focused on getting ready for school. I couldn't sleep all night as the thought of finally going to school tomorrow kept on playing in my head. Looking for a distraction I took out my phone and noticed I missed a few calls from "Lover Boy". I dialed his number and after several rings he picked up.

"Hello , how far?". "I'm Good, And you?", I replied as I turned to a more comfortable posture.

"Good", was his dry response

"Oh, okay, how was your day? What did you do?", I rushed out wanting to spend more time on the phone with him.

"Good and you", he answered, seeming already tired with the conversation.

"Oh alright", I mumbled

"Have you eaten?", He asked as an afterthought.

"Yeah and you", I answered asking him the same question halfheartedly already in a sour mood.

"Ok, good night love you", he said after a short silence.

" Yeah love you too", I mumbled.

" You're going to school tomorrow, right?"He asked rhetorically, and for a moment I was elated but my little excitement was short lived.

" You call me when you're leaving, alright?".

" Yeah sure,I will, Goodnight".

" Goodnight". He said one more time before ending the call .

I swear he's annoying, I grumbled as I shot daggers at his contact on my phone.

It was almost dawn when I dozed off and when I finally came, it was to the voice of my Mom shouting my name. "Oh shoot, I'm gonna get us late". I scurried out of bed and dashed into the bathroom to wash up. Not taking too long, which is usually twenty to thirty minutes at a minimum, I entered my room and dressed up in a set of mismatched outfits. I couldn't care less about looks. All that matters is that I get there as soon as possible before something else happens and gets in my way again this year. "Monty!", "Ma, I'm all set to leave", I replied as I climbed down the stairs to the living room. "About time we get moving", My Mom muttered angrily. "Sorry for keeping you waiting", I apologize sheepishly.

I sneakily pulled out my phone to call Dylan not wanting to have my mom yell at me once again.

"Hey what's up, I'm leaving for school now", I informed him.

" Okay, take care".

"Will you by any means see me off ", I rushed out in one breath anticipating the everpresent disappointment and I wasn't disappointed by his response.

"Catty,. You know I can't, there's work and other things to do".

" Ohkk", I drawled out ignoring the pang of pain I felt in my heart.

" Call me when you get there, okay? ".

" Yeah sure. Of course". I said before ending the call and moving my remaining luggages out of the house.

"I can't believe it's finally happening", Caitlyn uttered in glee. " Are you that excited?" Her Mom asked, smiling." Yeah, I'm super happy, to be honest I doubted it was actually gonna happen, it's not like I didn't believe you, but ....", " I understand, I also had my doubts and was scared of letting you down, I'm glad I didn't". My mom said laughing

" Yeah, being in the taxi on our way to NYU seems surreal". I giggled. " You're happy", Mom said, stating the obvious. " I definitely am". I gushed.

I opened my eyes to see where we're at , I honestly have no idea when I fell asleep. "Where are we?", I asked,as I rubbed my eyes to make my vision more clear."Roanoke", my mom answered. "A few more minutes and we'll be in Brooklyn". I looked outside and what I saw took my fucking breath outta my clogged lungs, as much as I'm reserved and quiet I'm also dramatic, which you've no doubt noticed. I was speechless and could only stare with mouth gaping in amazement. Had no idea it was this beautiful. "Wait till

you get to Brooklyn," my mom said, smirking.

"This is freaking amazing, like hell I'm in paradise". "Holy shit, the fuck is that?".

"Language, young lady", my mum reprimanded.

" Sorry ma", I apologized sheepishly. But damn! My mum cut me a look making me shut my mouth and just stare outside in awe. "This place is far better than Alabama", I said as my eyes darted from one place to the other.

"That's not true", my mom replied as she went off her invisible list of places in Alabama that's far better than Roanoke. I tuned her out as I suddenly felt overwhelmed, different thoughts racing through my mind. I couldn't deny that this place is a whole different universe. Far from what I'm used to but not what I can't handle, right?

" Close your mouth and arrange your stuff we'll soon alight", my mom said as she fished for a few notes in her bag to pay the driver.

"Where am I staying?", "At 145 4th Ave, it's not that far from your school", my mom replied as we picked up our luggages and headed upstairs.

My room was on the fourth floor and there was no elevator in the building, making carrying my stuff to my apartment more strenuous than I'd expected. I was out of breath by the time I got to my apartment. My mom, bless her soul, was already in the room without so much as showing any signs of sweat while I on the other hand was a sweaty mess.

"How do you want to arrange your things?"Mom asked. " I've got no idea, you'll have to help me out with that", I replied as I slumped on the bed.

"Lazy ass", my mom said, covering her mouth with her hand after realizing what she said. "Cussing now, are we", I teased.

"Oh shut your tramp". "And if I don't", I laughed. " You'll have to deal with all this yourself then", she threatened. " Not fair", I protested. " All Is fair in love and war", she mocked. " Seriously!", I asked, astonished.

" Yeah, whatever, you'd better get up and help me out with this". " Yes ma'am", I saluted.

" Thank goodness, we're through", I exclaimed. My mum shook her head while giving me the look. You know that look that screams lazybone or something like that, yeah that's the look I'm getting right now.

"Okay that's all for today", my mom announced after finishing up with what was left. "All that's left is water", she told me. "Yeah that's covered", I assured her.

" Alright then, I'll take my leave". "You're leaving?", I asked as my heart pounded in my chest. I couldn't breathe, as my anxiety attacked me head on.

"Can-can't you stay till the day after tomorrow?", my voice broke at the end of the sentence. I hated this, feeling this way. I hate clinging or depending on anyone, I didn't want to let her go cause I was scared, of what? Is beyond me. I just don't want to be left alone.

" You know I have to", she said, trying to figure out why I was being like this. I could see the conclusions in her eyes and I hated the look of pity casted my way.

" It's alright", I lied. " I was only joking", I forced myself out with a fake smile. " Are you sure", she asked as she looked at me searching for something, making me close up and mask my true feelings.

" Yeah I'm sure", I affirmed, convincing myself I'll be."okay". She said and went to pick up her bag lying on the floor.

"Will you just stand there or see me off?". She asked as she headed out of the apartment. " Yeah, I'm coming, wait up", I scurried after her.