Chapter Three

Love me hard ~ Elley Duhe

Caitlin

" Hello I'm at the airport ", I said as soon as Dylan answered my call.

I'm"Ok, give me a call when your plane lands, alright?" . " Ok, I will? "" You picking me up or…..?" I asked not wanting to complete the sentence.

" I'm sorry but I can't", he said, sounding anything but apologetic.

" Ok it's alright, I'll let you know when I get home gotta go".

" Bye take care we'll see when you arrive, you coming to my place right?", He said matter of factly.

" Hmm huh" , was my only response. "Gotta go", I said before ending the call and joining the queue.

” Supp Mason, I've just landed where are you guys?", I messaged my brother as I tried getting a cab.

"We're not at home but somewhere nearby we'll be home before you", he texted back.

"Alright, hope you guys got me a little something. I haven't had any breakfast ", I texted back.

"Sure, Devon will fix you something, no worries", he replied. "Alright", I said before closing the chat .

"I'm home", I called out as I walked up to the front porch.

I heard noises from the other side of the door and knew my brothers were racing each other so I moved back a bit so they wouldn't crash into me.

First!"Devonte, Devon in short shouted as he reached the door before proceeding to open it so I could enter. He gave me a bone crushing hug afterwards as Mason showed up and proceeded to give me a lighter hug compared to Devon's.

"Alright that's enough, help me with the luggages will you?"I said, passing the only thing that could pass as a luggage to Devon and handing the other bag I had with me besides my handbag to Mason.

"You guys the only one at home", I asked as I slumped on the sofa in the living room. "Gosh I'm beat", I lamented as Mason and Devon dropped my stuff on the tiled floor of our living room.

"Yeah", Mason answered.

"Mom's at her old lady's place and Dad's at ummm….. can't remember", Devon said after a long pause.

" Prolly at work or something", Mason supplied. "Yeah sure", I hummed.

" So what's edible?"I asked no one in particular, Devon and Mason had some telepathic conversation before Devon asked what I'd like to eat so he could get it for me down the street, at a new restaurant that opened a week after I left for school. They had rated it five stars as they gave me a rundown of everything the restaurant offered. I on the other hand couldn't care less If it was garbage they sold all I knew was that I was famished and on the crossroad of hell and heaven.

"You know what Devon?Mason asked rhetorically.

"I don't", Devon replied tarsely leaving.

" Get her their special set", Mason hollered as Devon opened the front door. The closed door was his only response.

"Gotta change, can't wear this to Dylan's", I said getting up as I dragged my stuff to my tiny room. I had hated sharing a room with my brothers and had instead moved into the only other available room at home which was very tiny. I wonder how I was able to fit in with all the stuff I owned which was a lot after several debates and arguments that took forever.

"Wassup am outside", I said as soon as Dylan answered my call.

"Alright give me a sec", he replied. I could hear ruffling in the background and not too long but probably after more than a sec he opened the gate and let me in.

"How was your journey? Hope it wasn't too stressful?"I was bombarded with questions as soon as he saw me.

" Hi to you too", I sassed. "Come and give daddy a hug", he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Yeah you wish", I scoffed. "Eheh it's like that, right?"He asked sulkily. "Yeah whatever", I rolled my eyes before giving him a big hug.

" I missed you", Dylan said as he slowly trails his hands down my body as he plastered kisses all over my skin eliciting a moan from me.

My temperature rose as he continued plastering my body with his kisses in no time we were in his room, how we had managed that is beyond me.

"Dylan!". I whispered my voice thick with raw emotion.

"Hmmm?"He muttered as he worshiped my body like a devotee. Before I knew what was happening we were in the sheets naked.

" What's the time?", I asked as I opened my eyes.

" You're awake?"Dylan asked before he facepalmed at my expression.

" No shit Sherlock", I said under my breath covering it up with a cough.

" Gosh I feel like I was run over by a freight train or something". I grumbled sourly.

" I'm sure that wasn't what hit you", Dylan said cockily with a knowing smirk plastered on his face making me blush like an Overripe tomato.

" 18:30", he said, answering my previous question.

"Took you long enough", I said pouting.

"You know if you keep staring at me that way, I can't guarantee you'll be able to work outta here in one piece, that's given if you'll be able to get up, not to talk of leaving".

"You're such a pig", I joked but he didn't seem to catch the joke or something as his expression did a quick 360 I almost got whiplash.

"I - i…. I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry", I said with a sober expression. How we'd gone from a jolly pair to this I don't know and this wasn't the first time something like this would happen. I'm always on thin ice around him these days. I feel like a criminal awaiting trial.

"I've always told you, you should be cautious of the words that come out of your mouth,you can't just sprout things without thinking, I mean you can't be that dumb", Dylan said as if scolding a petulant child, who happens to be me.

"I didn't mean it like that,it was only a joke. I'm sorry if you were offended by it. I would refrain from using such words with you in the future", I apologize as I hung my head in shame. " But you shouldn't have spoken that way to me either, I mean it was an honest mistake. It doesn't warrant such degrading words' ', I continued after a pause. "I'm your girlfriend not your younger sibling or junior at college or work", I said, raising my head slightly to gauge his expression.

"I'm sorry for talking to you that way, but….. you know what nevermind let's forget it, okay?"he said, staring at me hopefully.

" Oh, okay. No problem", I said smiling but deep down it was a big problem. I wasn't ready to just sweep under the rug but then again I could've been wrong and was too proud to see that.

It's been days since I got back and to be sincere it's been hectic. From one thing to the other, going to and from places I barely had time for myself and in a way I loved it. The adrenaline rush I get from overworking is out of this world. It gets me high whenever I'm exerted. I'm unable to do anything else but pass out on my bed a sweaty mess and resume everything again the next day and the day after. Similar work pattern with more annoying customers with little to no inhibition whatsoever is just about the right amount of icing to top my figurative cake.

If I had known going to Dylan's place three days ago to hangout with him which accidentally was his brother's birthday would led to a series of events that'd act as a catalyst for our breakup I might've stayed at home instead but then again it wasn't like I knew what was going to happen. Actually our looming breakup wasn't caused by my going to his house but his reaction towards me when I had made a complain or rather report about how his sister had indirectly insulted me. It had been a huge blow to the miniscule self esteem I had left and had quenched the fire of hope I had for our relationship.

It's been days now and still nothing from him, no call no message just silence and as each day passes by without a word from him I could feel my heart crack and it was only a matter of time before I breakdown.

My heart couldn't take it anymore and I decided after spending years of deliberating to reach out to him, coming up with countless excuses as to why he hadn't contacted me. I had even gone as far as decieving myself into believing he was planning a big way to apologize, as if, that'll only happen in my dreams which I've been having a lot of I'm too embarrassed to admit.

"Ring ring", I waited with bated breath but all I was met with was silence, deafening silence. This went on for as long as it took me to remember my self-respect. But self-respect, self-esteem and pride were nothing if it means saving my relationship but then again what will be will be regardless of how hard I tried.

"Hello". I was jolted out of my chaotic mind and was brought back to the present and for a moment I was quiet, scrambling in my head for what to say.

" Hello?", The voice on the other side called a little impatient but calm, annoyingly calm.

Didn't he feel anything? Wasn't he heartbroken? Was was….. I just couldn't accept the fact that he was unaffected with the way things are between us.

I hated how he makes me feel things and yet shows little to no emotion whatsoever to indicate something, anything.

"Where are you? I'm coming to your place", I asked as I held my breath expectantly, hoping he would take the hand I offered him.

*Don't come, besides I'm going out, actually I'm not at home", he stated flatly with no emotions.

" I… what of my cloth and when should I bring your money that's with me?", Were the words I blurted out. I guess I had little pride left I wanted to savage.

" I'll let you know when to come", he said before ending the call.

"Ya ! I was the one that called you have no right to end the call, it's my money I'm burning not yours asshole", I yelled profanities at my phone screen.

" Screw you jerk face, who can't live without you", I shouted before bursting into tears, I was full blown crying with snort and all, I didn't care about been seen by anyone all I knew was that my heart was burning, I was short of breath I started gasping as I clutched my chest. pain,raw and pure coursed through me. I looked worse for wear. One would think I had just survived a zombie apocalyps.

That night after endless crying I had talked to myself, given myself a four hour long lecture, consoling myself in-between. "Life goes on", I muttered to myself before succumbing to the lurking darkness.

Days passed and I consumed my time working, if I wasn't working I was anywhere but in my head. I erased every thought of him as I filled up my days with work and reading. Which was a better choice compared to the alternative which is the pity party I'm fond of throwing myself from time to time, since depression is a well known acquaintance of mine. Not something I'm proud of though.

"Are you coming over to grandma's place for Christmas?", My mom asked, already dressed for the said occasion.

"No, I'm not certain", I answered sourly.

"Is it because of what happened?*She probed cautiously. All I could do was nod, as talking had become a hassle for me.

" I know you don't want to hear this but I'll still say it, you did the right thing", my mom said, gauging my reaction to her words before she continued. I knew there was more, my mom wasn't one for short conversations.

" You did the right thing, though….", And here it comes the ever available clause.

" Although you meant well but going by your story you might've have overreacted when you didn't get the reaction you were expecting from him, though it's understandable as you're always justifying his every action, you might not see it but everyone does we just didn't say anything though each of us had our reasons the truth still remains which we all surprisingly agree on", she said pausing as I opened my mouth to say something.

" And what's that?", I asked, hoping against all that it wasn't what I was thinking.

" You need a break from him, you've isolated yourself from everything and everyone," , " But", I uttered before I was cut of.

" I know you rarely interact with anyone in the family and you don't socialize I get that, but I know what I'm saying when I say you're consumed by your feelings for Dylan and it's not making you think straight, you're breaking everything you stand for, don't get me wrong I'm not saying he's bad for you but I always tell you this what will be will be, if you're losing yourself because of the love you have for someone then that love is not Worth it. I hate seeing you depressed almost all the time, I think you two need a break to be sincere with you", she said giving me the pity look. It's one thing to tell myself what my mom had just said. It's another to hear your own family, mother at that, telling you the same thing.

It was a lot to digest but she wasn't wrong. I needed to take a break. My mental health needs treatment and staying in the relationship would only worsen things.

"I'll take my leave now, think about what I just said, okay? And I mean deep thought." " Sure I will, bye.

" Bye take care, in hopes you'll change your mind I'll be expecting you". " Na I don't think so", I objected.

" Alright then". " Yeah".