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The Outer Heavens: A Satirical Potatowned Massacre

Just the lost snippets of my novel The Outer Heavens which broke the fourth wall and addressed the one and only Ultimate Douchebag of Webnovel - Potatowned. Have fun reading about yourself getting mutilated, you son of a b****.

LordIkariMuhino · Others
Not enough ratings
5 Chs

Edgelord sucker

*record scratch!*

Hang on! Hold up! Wawawa!

Why didn't Dram just tell Ramza about Selim's survival?

Why is Tiul stupid?

Why is everyone stupid?

Can't we just get to the part where the MC is alive and just get over this bullshit like Mary Sue Edgelord white trash?

Number one - Ramza spent a lot of time roaming the land of Ashea and was never in one place. Tracking him down was difficult; even if news of his presence reaches the Magistrate, he would be gone already by the time they arrive.

Number two - Ashea is hostile to imperialists, and with Dram mostly known as an Ashen who defected to Ivlis, he was not welcome unless accompanied by an Ashen judicator like Ashmal or Emzai. (this is also why Tiul did not show herself to the people of Herringbone, since she was an Ashen who defected to the Empire. Yes, she also represented Ashea but she was not as welcome as Ashmal and Emzai)

Third reason - Dram knew Ramza was only scratching at the surface of his potential and if given enough growth, he can take on even the full might of a Magistrate-backed imperial army. Xus and surprisingly enough Rezal were aware of this and were only able to kill Ramza in his 'larval' stage as some would put it using their own weapons, while Tiul was ignorant enough to use the very same weapons that Ramza had already overcome. So far, only judge Aos was able to hold off Ramza even though it was not a full-blown fight.

Fourth reason why Dram didn't tell him - he didn't know what happened to Selim and Simon after he abandoned them. This guilt also stacked up on his consciousness, and he feared that if he were to tell Ramza the truth, the lord Unvergang would go berserk.

The lady Tiul was someone who liked to take the credit of others, and she did so with the utmost glee while also pinning the blame on others. Mandias was unfortunate as he never wanted to take part in the mission any further upon learning that he also had to kill children, but his participation led to his own demise at Ramza's hands.

Why didn't Ramza just kill the Oz family and spare Mandias so he could live the rest of his life knowing that he led his family to their deaths, you ask? Simple answer to that - Mandias had already harmed Ramza and Selim even before the massacre, so the lord Unvergang only had business with Mandias himself. The rest of Oz had nothing to do with the beef between Ramza and Mandias.

So in conclusion - killing the rest of the Oz family including a washed-up old man like Faze WOULD NOT MAKE THINGS BETTER, FOR ALL OF YOU MARY SUE-LOVING, EDGELORD-COCKSUCKING CASULS OUT THERE READING THIS.

"NOOOO!!"

"There. I killed your family, now... try going after me again."

"I will... rise up. I swear by my father's katana and my samurai-Wanshidong training that you will fall by my hand. I am no longer Mandias Oz. I will kill your family in front of you, just like what my master told me before the monastery burned down. For the land of the free and the home of the brave. The art of iaido, blardi-blar-blar. I am now... Owned the Potato--"

What in the blue flying fuck.

This also isn't some netorare hentai story where the ladies love gangbangs even with the ugly people. Ramza was presented with such realities, and his response was of course to destroy them all because he saw how his old self died from heartbreak and never came back. It dawned upon him that he was the only one blessed to avenge them, the only one lucky enough to be with his beloved, AND the only one cursed to witness such absurdity, and he had all worlds in his hands. All the power in the world... to him, it meant nothing if he would go on without his family. He did everything to protect them, yet he was attacked on all sides.

Now you criticize that he wants to get his parents and his brothers to the Outer Heavens just to get them killed? He never said that he wants them to die.

YOU DID.

STOP FUCKING PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH, FILTHY WHITE AMERICAN.

REMEMBER - I'M COMING TO YOUR WORLD.

THE END IS NEAR.....

FOR YOU.