Cap15:)

"And remember when he made us barter for groceries in the farmers' market with all those angry fishwives instead of the store like normal people where things are actually arranged in an organized fashion?" But of course! It was part of their culture, for god's sake. No self-respecting ninja went through life without learning how to extract every single penny from each transaction.

"And don't even remind me of when he made us walk the long way around Konoha to get to a shop that was literally thirty feet away from where we started!" Well, patience was a virtue – and as shinobi, it was important that they learn to grit their teeth and follow orders, even if it seemed completely stupid.

"Two words: rice cakes," Shikamaru interjected, joining in, and Ino and Naruto both nodded vigorously in agreement.

Ah, yes. Rice cakes. Okay, so that had just been to mess with them…but it was still fun.

"I bet we have to clean someone's pool, and so he's going to tie us to bricks and chuck us in there just to see how long it would take us to escape." Yeah, he had just been planning that, actually – wait, how'd they know?

"Now that's very hurtful," Kakashi interrupted them. "I am offended that you would even suggest that I would do something like that to you. And after all the trouble I had gone through to procure a C-rank for you. Oh, well, I guess I should just take this back – "

"NO NO NO NO it's fine!" Ino hastily amended.

"I don't know…"

"Please please please please please sensei?" Naruto whined.

Kakashi grinned evilly behind his mask.

Normally, he would have trained his Genin team, well, normally. Only, this was no longer a frontline combat team. Team Ten was now the frontline combat team. They were, instead, a capture and interrogation team. And all of Kakashi's experiences in capture and interrogation had been from ANBU.

So naturally, this team received some rather special training.

Nothing unreasonable, though! Honestly! All he did was expand their non-Academy jutsu repertoires to something more than just the Shadow Clone, Mind Transfer, and Shadow Possession.

And retrain Naruto in chakra control.

And give Shikamaru another shogi opponent besides his dad.

And cover Ino up with a little more armor.

("Honey, the only ugly girl is a dead one; now put some pants on!")

The point was, everything he had done up until this point had been perfectly logical.

…Except for maybe those times when he kidnapped the Fire Daimyo's wife's cat and threw it into a variety of terrains just to make them catch it (what better way to simulate a tracking mission in safe simulated conditions than with a pet that fought back?) – various training grounds, the woods, a random field of nothing but desert brush, a river crossing full of floating logs, a mountain cave system, a mazelike canyon, the red light district…

He had gotten a real kicker out of that last one. Especially when they brought him in just so he could explain to the Hokage that one day his students might have track a target into unfamiliar urban territory. After all, not all rogue shinobi hid out in the wild. Many of them had to venture back into human centers every once in a while to trade for supplies, after all.

Now that was an excuse he was particularly proud of. He'd stash it up there with "I got lost on the road of life."

He didn't get why the Hokage had been so mad at him. It was thanks to him that Konoha got all that extra money and missions. Everyone won, except Tora, but Tora didn't count because Kakashi hated it.

"Just kidding. It's a D rank. You're cleaning someone's pool. And I actually wasn't going to tie you to bricks," – okay, he was – "but now that you mention it, that seems like a great idea – "

"WAAAAH! I'M SORRRRYYYYY!"

Speaking of C-ranks, though…maybe they really were ready for one.

The Road to Suna

"We'll set up camp here," Kakashi-sensei said, holding up his left fist at a right angle. Shinobi sign language for stop – at least, in Konoha anyway. Every hidden village had its own set of rules. However, we wouldn't be learning them before becoming fluent in this one first. "Ino, you catch dinner; you need to improve your field work skills. Naruto, you scout out the area. We'll give you a little tactical test when you come back. And Shikamaru, stay here and set up the tents. When you're done, start practicing the jutsu I taught you. I suggest you enjoy the forest while you can," he said, shooting a look at Ino. "Tomorrow we're heading out into the desert toward Suna. Go."

One month ago, Ino would have whined at being forced to venture out into the forest alone. Now, she simply picked up her weapons pack without a single word and leaped off into the bushes silently. She still cared about her looks, but she never made mention of it when Kakashi-sensei was around. His method of dealing with her, every time she complained about her clothes or hair, had been to respond by dousing her with a water jutsu and then kicking up as much dust and dirt around her as he could while she flailed and screamed.

It didn't matter if we were out in a training field or in the middle of Konoha. "Accidents" happened all the time, and compared to some of the other things he had made us do, getting Ino muddy was the least of our concerns.

Naruto, I found, was naturally hardheaded and didn't know when to give up, while Ino, as always, enjoyed walking at the front and dragging people along. So while they whined and cried, they still managed to complete all the tasks that Kakashi-sensei set forth. The other alternative had been to train with Team Gai for the day instead, and we all learned what that meant the hard way the first time we tried.

Kakashi-sensei seemed really fond of drilling lessons into us "the hard way."

Really, if I had been born with my father's work ethic instead of my mother's, I would not have survived the first week with these people.

"Make sure you cover your tracks well this time," I yelled after Ino.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember the last time I forgot well enough, thank you very much," I heard her snap back.

"Sheesh, the way you guys go on and on about it, you'd think that you didn't enjoy being attacked in the middle of the night and tied upside-down to a tree while the rest of your belongings were strewn about," Kakashi-sensei said.

"Yes, I'm sure that's a very popular thing people do for fun," I replied sarcastically.

"I believe they call them 'scavenger hunts'. It's fun. Little kids do it at birthday parties," Kakashi-sensei told me.

"They don't tie them upside-down to trees, though," I pointed out.

"Well, obviously, we're ninja, so we have to make it a little harder, right?"

I chose not to answer that question. Arguing with crazy people was not very conducive to my mental health, and as far as I was concerned, Kakashi Hatake was one of those people who could literally drive you crazy without any effort whatsoever. Not that I'd leave his tutelage even if I could; there was no denying that he was just as brilliant as he was insane. Sometimes I wondered which one he was – brilliant, or insane. Or perhaps both.

"Yes, funny how well those two things go together," Kakashi-sensei said out of the blue.

"What?"

"Being brilliant and being insane. Two sides of the same coin, really. If the scheme succeeds, it's brilliant; if it fails, it's insane. The important thing is to make sure no one can tell if you've planned this all out, or if you're just making it up as you go along." He had seated himself on a thick tree branch and was swinging his legs idly.

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