22. Aftermath

"I am not a hero,

I am not an angel,

I am just a man,

A man who's trying to love her,

Unlike any other."

-Josh Groban

My mind was a blur when I exited the royal dining room with the rest of my family. Lady Danbury and Lord Hastings looked totally shell-shocked, while there was more an air of delight on my side. While the younger Bridgerton boys didn't know what to say, Father and Anthony were more vocal of the four men. Anthony especially spoke with relief, actually giving Lord Hastings a pat on the back, shocking him again.

"Ah well! Alls well that ends well! What a relief. Now I don't have to hate you anyone," Anthony sighed with a laugh; I think he didn't really enjoy despising his old Oxford friend. He only did so on my behalf, being the good brother he is. Lord Hastings, for his part, simply blinked back to Anthony dumbfounded, unable to verbally reply. Lady Danbury was left speechless as well. Father, meanwhile…..

The Bridgerton patriarch wiped his brow also in reprieve. "What a night, I must say….. I was not expecting that when her majesty invited us for dinner." "But isn't it good we went, Father? Daphne's future's settled now! There's no need to worry anymore! She can't do better than a prince, and what with you moving to Prussia with her….. Everything's landed just fine- just fine indeed. Don't you agree, sister?" Anthony asked me with enthusiasm. I gazed to him shyly but found myself nodding my head. He seemed pleased with this, smiling in return. His hand retracted off of the duke to rest on my right shoulder. He gave my skin a tender squeeze, his eyes lowering onto mine. "Though I can't hide that I'm going to miss you- you and Father. Your absences will be felt for many months, if not years." "Awe, brother….." I stared back up at him lovingly.

Father cleared his throat and then turned to a silent Lady Danbury. "I do apologize for all the confusion, my lady. You need not worry about your nor the duke's reputation, as her majesty reassured; this new and rather abrupt arrangement will not harm neither you in any way. I give you my word, Lady Danbury." She merely eyed him in astonishment for a moment before flinching; it's as if Father broke her train of thought. "Oh…. Oh! No! Not at all, my lord. I thank you for your kind sentiments, but I believe Simon and I can handle ourselves." Father laughed. "Of course you can! Of course you can; I had no doubt, my lady. But do please keep in touch and come to visit often. The children and I have gotten quite used to having you and the duke around the house." Lady Danbury's lips parted for a second but took a moment to say anything. "We certainly shall, my lord. Our young folks have started cultivating a friendship, I might say. This is something I wish to see continue," I wasn't sure which "young folks" her ladyship was referring to there….. Father must have assumed she meant my older brothers, nodding his head in agreement. "To be sure. A youthful friendship is a precious thing. I should wish our children to treasure it." "Me too, my lord. Me too…" Lady Danbury's voice lowered a little.

All the while, Lord Hastings hadn't taken his eyes off of me. He wore a half-dumbstruck, half-outraged expression, and it was directed my way. No one else appeared to notice this, but I saw. I wasn't afraid of his impending, obviously negative reaction, but I wasn't looking forward to it. I inwardly cringed when Father suddenly announced "we should let the ex-couple discuss the issue in private. Daphne, darling; have a word with Hastings, will you? Settle the waters and what not? Then we can all go on being the dearest of friends, I'm sure!" Uhhhhhhhh… "Uh, um, yes, Father," I did not want to do this. I did NOT want to have this "talk", if you could call it that. I felt the duke's eyes burning a hole through me as the others quietly left the hallway- it would be improper for Lord Hastings and I to go into a room alone together but out in the open hall was find. Neither of us dared make a peep until we were by ourselves, or at least the others were out of sight. Probably not earshot but there's nothing we could do about that.

A very, very, VERY tense minute passed between us. I rubbed the side of my arm, unable to look at the duke for a second, but when I did I tried to be sympathetic to him. This must of seemingly come out of nowhere for Lord Hastings, after all. "My lord….." I began, only to be immediately cut off. "Don't," was his simple command. "My lord, please- let me explain." "Don't; don't you DARE try to justify this. Did you know? Did you know she would propose that this evening, with all of us there?" "I….." He finally let me speak but I hesitated. Should I lie? Should I tell him the truth? I should be honest; it would feel wrong to hide this from him. But it turns out I didn't have to say anything; he already read it on my face.

The sheer wave of rage washed over his own face; I swear he was seconds away from throttling me right there and then. And yet, I wasn't scared of him; I was intimidated but never, ever truly afraid. Huh…. I wonder why that is. Very strange. I should be scared; I should be more frightened of him than anything, but….. But I wasn't. I naturally, automatically wasn't for some odd, unknowable reason. Heh, and if there was any time to be terrified of the duke, it was now.

"Are you serious?" Again, were his only words. "I…. I don't know what to say." "You sure as hell didn't say "no" back there! Why didn't you speak up? Why didn't you politely decline the offer?" He demanded, his voice steadily raising. I blinked at him surprised. "Why didn't I….? B-Because I didn't…. want to. I want to marry Prince Frederick." "Don't say that! You don't even know this man." And I could only stare at him gobsmacked. "W-What are you talking about? Ours was an arranged engagement; I didn't know you when her highness matched me with you. What does our knowing each other have to do with anything?" "Everything! How am I supposed to hand you over to some guy neither of us has ever met before?! Did you ever stop to think about the position this puts me in?" He shouted, being very loud now. I was also raising my voice to match his- unconsciously so.

"What position?! You're not my fiancé anymore! Any say you had over my life now is over. I'm back under my father's domain now until my engagement with Prince Frederick is finalized." "That's where you're wrong. I said you could "court" the prince; I never gave you my permission to marry him, which you DON'T have, by the way." "What?! You can't do that!" My clenched fists rose up in a fury. This…. This jerk! Why is he being so stubborn all of a sudden?! Shouldn't he be happy or at least relieved? Why is he being this way?! And why am I secretly enjoying myself so much?! I don't get it! I just don't understand!

He too curled his hands into fists by now, arching his back authoritatively. "It's already done! Like it or not, I'm still your fiancé, and I forbid you to be alone with the prince or any other man without me present," he couldn't have sounded more bossy….. or sexy. Still, in a show of defiance, I shot him an unimpressed and slightly confused glare. "Don't you mean "without an escort present"?" I corrected him. The duke blinked, as if to be alarmed by his own words coming out of his mouth; I don't think he meant to say that out loud. But since it was said and there was no taking it back, he decided- wisely or unwisely- to buckle down. He cleared his throat and fixed his sharp eyes onto mine. "You heard me. I won't say it again; I had better not catch you two by yourselves, even with an escort. Do I make myself clear?"

I huffed, rolling my eyes. "Why are you being so unreasonable? You're the one who told the queen you gave your permission for me to court Prince Frederick. You can't go back on your word now without appearing like you lied to her majesty." "Of course I didn't lie. I said you can court him, and I'll honour my words. But don't infer anything else beyond that. You can marry the prince and move to Prussia if and when I say so," he declared with finality.

After staring at the duke a moment, my lips parted a sliver on their own accord. One single thought kept racing through my head: he doesn't want me to marry Prince Frederick. Thinking that had predictable consequences. Lord Hasting's back flinched again, his limbs stiffened when he saw me standing there, mouth slightly ajar and cheeks sizzling a bright pink. This reaction on my part caught him completely off guard, which I read in his face. We were both watching each other with equal intensity and interest when our families came back to interrupt us. Father thought we might have been fighting since I looked very close to fainting, and yeah….. I guess we were fighting. That was an argument we just had; we always seemed to be arguing with one another, and yet….. And yet…..

"Come, dearest. You and Hastings can converse later when you're feeling well again," Father took my arm in his, ready to guide me back to my brothers. Along the way we passed by the duke and Lady Danbury, who was standing beside him now and looking rather distressed. Right as we passed one another, our shoulder brushed against the other's, making my cheeks blush harder. Our eyes met one last time; his following me the whole way. Though we didn't speak more to each other, it's like we able to read one another's eyes. His said "You better remember what I've said." And mine replied: "Of course, my lord. But don't expect me to be too obedient to you.

You still haven't tamed me yet."