The Chosen Banana ?

It was a Monday evening. It was the ending of the first weekly nightmare of people

I cursed under my breath as I left the school. The 'Kids' and my moronic classmates rushed out of the 'educational mental institution'(DA School) like they were wanting to get spanked by their parents earlier.(Imma probably gonna be orphaned today)

I walked along the pavement, kicking stones into the unsuspecting wheels of cars going so fast they made the cars in 'Fast and Furious' look like cars in a low budget movie. "Very few cars today", I muttered as i continued to walk home. "Probably gonna get hit by a stupid driver", I foreshadowed.

As far I've advanced in life, I had come to a conclusion, that my luck was scarce.

I've escaped death caused by suffocating on a meatball, I've almost died by fainting into an enclosure with alligators, I've ,very stupidly, jumped out of the 2nd floor in my house because I thought it was close enough.

 I broke out of my thoughts to see a sus dude, sneaking inside an alley.

My mind , the master of curiosity ,whisper-shouted at me,

FOLLOW HIM

Da hell?

OBEY ME

As I reluctantly drag my unwilling body closer to the alley, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the cliche of it all. Of course, just when I'm about to head home and finally die in peace, I stumbled upon some shady guy slinking into the shadows like a bad actor in a Liam Neeson movie(Liam da goat).

With a heavy sigh, I muttered to myself, "Oh, great." I half-expected dramatic music to start playing as I sneaked closer, fully embracing the role of the dark knight in my own mini-drama.

Now, many things went wrong in the next 5 seconds.

Time skip no jutsu (5 secs later. What? too early?. I'm da author )

As I lied there, sprawled out amidst the remnants of someone's discarded takeout, I can't help but marvel at the sheer absurdity of your predicament. Slipping on a banana peel? Seriously? Could this get any more cliched?

My brain, ever the master of obvious, decides now is the perfect time for a trivia break. "Banana peels don't slip, right?" it said, just as I struggled to regain my marbles.

Meanwhile, the garbage can I so elegantly collided with emitted a resounding clang, adding insult to injury. If there was ever a moment for dramatic irony, this would be it.

I groaned, a mixture of frustration and amusement bubbling up inside me. What can I say? At least life's got a wicked sense of humor.

As I laid there, drenched in the mysterious juice of the trash, a chilling sensation crept over me. It started as a whisper of movement, barely perceptible in the dim light. But before I could react, a shadowy figure emerged from the darkness, their features obscured by the cloak they wore.

A cold shiver ran down my spine as I realized the gravity of the situation. This wasn't just some ordinary encounter with a suspicious individual. This was something far more sinister.

Without a word, the figure raised a gleaming blade, glinting menacingly in the faint glow of the streetlights. Panic surged through me as I ignored the trash juice and scrambled to my feet, but it was too late. With a swift motion, the figure struck, and the world around me faded into darkness.

In the aftermath, the alley remained silent and still, the only evidence of the encounter a trail of blood staining the pavement. My story came to an abrupt and tragic end, my life sealed by the cruel hand of fate.

To be honest, I probably deserved it for listening to my brain.

And to be fair, It is a brain with a very long tongue of its own.