Chapter Eight: Finding Ezra

Ana couldn't stand the pain anymore. Her heart hurt, her head hurt, everything hurt. She just wanted peace, and she was ready to die to get it. Running as fast as she could, she ran stright for the North side of the pack territory as instructed by the creator. In this plan she saw the perfact opportunity to end herself. True the Goddess had told her that she couldn't end herself but surely a drop off of a cliff would certinally kill her, Right? She did have a head start on her mate so she could reach the edge and jump before he could stop her. She was done with the pain and the fact that no one wanted her. Her parents abandoned her and her mate is keeping her here only to torment. Maybe if she died the Goddess would except her into the after life so she could finally find her peace. All the memories that had been kept from her over the last sixteen years continued to flood her mind. Things that she couldn't believe had happened to her, things that she could not believe she done. She had killed people, or rather Aaliyah had. Dropping to the ground grabbing her head she screamed at the pain as it pulsed through her mind, tears streaming down her face. Wiping them away from her eyes she stood and began to run again. She had been running for maybe seven minutes when the ground fell out from under her.

Ezra had run as fast as his legs could carry him borrowing on Maddox's stranght he was actually moving pretty fast even for a wolf. In fact he can't remember ever moving this fast, and he was faster than any he had met so far, other than Ana. She had out run him at the Red Dawn pack. That thought had him thinking. She couldn't be only human with such speed. She was hurt and she had out run him even back then. Ezra faultered in his steps as the sounds of the most beastly screams reached him, screams that could only have come from Ana. Worried even more thinking his mate had gone over the edge of the cliff he turned Maddox loose so his speed was faster than before. He ran as if his life depended on it, and it did he realized. Maddox had not taken full control leaving Ezra with him so he was still present and had thoughts running though both their heads.

" Don't even go there Ezra we are not keeping the fucking wench. She will be the one who kills us if we do not kill her first, you know this." Maddox said.

" She CAN NOT be allowed to take her own life." Ezra said in reply a bit angery. He was angery because is mate held no value of her own life and his wolf wanted her dead but not until he was ready for her to die.

" She is not permitted to take her own life, that honor belongs to me." Maddox said also angry. Maddox was angery because the little woman that was his mate was intent on taking his pleasure away from him. It would he a pleasure to kill the weak ass Omega that was mated to him. He thought she was a waste of space or good air someone with a rank could be using.

" I do not think she cares if you have permitted her to die or not Asshole." Ezra told his wolf flattly.

The two continued to argue between themselves in Ezra's head, and maybe one would be worried about a man arguing with himself in his own head if that someone didn't have a violent, asshole of a beast sharing is mind and body, so this is perfactly normal all things considered. Wasn't it? Just as Ezra caught sight of the cliff he also saw Ana she was just in front of him. He could see perfactly because of Maddox sharing his space with him. Just as he was about to reach out and grab her she went off the edge. Jumping into the air Maddox grabbed his mate spinning around snatching her back from the air that she was suspended in. Pulling her into his chest rolling on the ground as he hit back first to keep his weight from crushing her as he landed.

" You deal with her." Maddox said retreating to the back of Ezra's mind once again.

Ezra was breathing hard from all the running and the acrobatics he'd just pulled off, so he just layed there panting like a heffer in heat. He heard the woman crying next to him. She had asked him a question through all the sobbing she was doing. He could barely understand her words, but he did understand them. She had known, she had fucking known and she ran this way anyway. Locking Maddox in the back of his mind where he could not hear or see what was going on he asked her to repeat her question. So she did.

" Why would you do that Ezra, Why keep me here only to torment me week after week?" Ana asked sobbing.

" You knew, didn't you? You knew the clif was here and you ran right for it. Didn't you Ana? Ezra asked his eyes narrowing at her.

" Yes, I knew. I saw it on a map of the island in the library the other day. Yes I ran off the edge on perpose. I thought that if I jumped, those wounds, you nor Maddox could not heal them and I could finally have peace and be happy." Ana said still sobbing her hands over her eyes.

Ezra's eyes darked as he looked at the sobbing tiny woman on the ground next him. Then he lost it.

" Are you out of your damn mind woman? What the fuck were you thinking Little Wolf, to do something like this. Something that not even my Beast could heal through the bond we share, or the blood in our vains. Something that you no doubt knew already? Ezra shouted at her.

" I could not live with myself if you had done this thing." Ezra said looking into her eyes. His voice softening. Now he was also crying, tears running down his cheeks. Ana had never seen him this vulnerable since she had first met him, he had always had an air of confidence about him. This strong aura that aways seem to say " Stay the hell back for I am your doom" but looking at him now. She could still see his dangerous aura, knew even now he could and would kill if he must, but he looked broken in his eyes. Like the very thought of what she had almost done was breaking him in two. Then she heard him say something she never thought to hear his mouth utter.

He had already decided to keep her safe from his wolf, now he has to keep her safe from herself. He has to make her promise to never do this stupid shit ever again, and he has to get her to promise on her own.

" Please Little Wolf do not hurt yourself anymore, and Do Not Ever try to take your own life again. Your death would surly mean my own one way or the other." Ezra said still crying.

" I will not if you will stop with your whores, we may not be mated in truth but it is still a pain I can not bare." Ana said sadly.

" I promise no more whores." Ezra said wiping her tears. he had already decided to stop what he was doing with those girls. It would be an easy promise to make. She didn't know that though.

" Then I promise I will never try and take my own life again." Ana promised him in return.

" Ana." Erza asked looking at her again. "I know I said I wouldn't push you for answers, but I need to know what happened in your old pack. I need to know why you want so badly to die." Ezra explained.

" Ezra you do not want me so why do you care if I live or die so much? You said that my death would cause your own. Why would it? How would it? Ana questioned him.

" I have tried to keep my distance, I have been with women merely to cause you pain trying to push you away. I have done unspeakable things in this world with no thought of keeping it quiet. I know you have heard the stories of my deeds. Most have. But Ana I can not keep you out of my head. I can not allow you to die, leave me if you must, but you must live Little Wolf. I can not be in a world that does not inhabit you somewhere in it. Do you understand?" Ezra asked hoping she did. He had asked her once not to leave him. But if leaving him would keep her alive. He would find away to endure the pain of her going. He could do that couldn't he?

" Yes, I think so. You do not want me but you do not want me dead either." Ana said.

" Sort of." Ezra said. "It will do though" He said again.

"Ezra I want to die because I do not belong anywhere. My parents left me to be found by that horrible pack, and my mate doesn't even want a mate." Ana said. Then she began.

" While I was in the attic at the Red Dawn pack I prayed that my mate would find me and take me away from there. Not because the pack mistreated me but because Darien did. Then the day came that you were there and you left me behind, it was at that time that I first wanted to die." She held her breath and let it out slowly. She continued inhailing her next breath.

"Darien had told me I'd stay in that place until I was dead or he let me out. He was never going to let me out Ezra. He is a deranged man and in love with something that doesn't exsist. He has a mate, you met her, only he wouldn't accept her as his because he wanted me to take him as a chosen mate. I told him I wanted to find my own destined mate, the one ment for me. He got angry and locked me away. He forced me to do things Ezra, things I would never have done if it were up to me. If I had known that my mate wasn't my saving grace I would have just let Darien kill me and my friends. To keep from doing the things forced on me I would have done almost anything. I thought my mate would find me and save me because he was my mate and he would love me. That is not how it turned out though. You never wanted a mate, you only took me because the bond wouldn't allow you or Maddox to abandon me. I understand that. I do not understand why you keep saving me. Why when you do not love me nor will you accept me as a mate even if you hate what I am. I am more than an Omega Ezra. I am a person. I have feelings and honor, I am loyal to what is mine. I would never betray you or hurt you though I know you do not believe me. I think...."

Ezra grabbed her and kissed her.

Ana pulled back grabbed her head and screamed loudly.

" Ana? Ana? What is it, what is wrong? Why are you holding your head and screaming like that? Ana?" Ezra said shaking her by the shoulders.

Ana looked up into his eyes about to try and answer him through the pain in her head when Aaliyah began to speak to her.

" Ana I am going to push you back so that I can help you with the pain this is causing. I will not block the memories, only the pain." Aaliyah said.

" No, he will become to know of you." Ana said crying.

" What does it matter he will have to know soon enough." She replyed.

" I do not want him to accept me because I am not wolfless after all." Ana said.

" He will not know we are powerful. Its not that you are wolfless, it is that you are weak that he doesn't want you remember. Omegas have wolves, weak ones. Also I think he has already accepted us, he just isn't aware of it yet, or he just isn't prepaired to admit it to himself. I think that is why he keeps us alive." Aaliyah reminded.

" Alright Aaliyah, But he can not know what we really are until I think he is worthy of our secrets. Just because the Goddess thinks he is worthy to be our mate doesn't mean he is. She gave Cheyenne to Darien and that monster does not even deserve a mate. Not one that is as sweet as Cheyenne is anyway." Ana told her.

Aaliyah pushed her human into the back of her own mind as she came fully forward. She was a powerful wolf that was true but, even the most powerful gets warn down when they are using the power constantly to hide their exsistance and heal wounds. That being said Aaliyah didn't have the energy to take the pain and completely hide the fact that she is persent. The most she can do right now is hide the power within her and her human alike. As Aaliyah came fully forward Ana's eyes turned.

Ezra looked at Ana as she just stared at him, almost as if she was trying to figure out what to tell him. When he saw it, her eyes. They were no longer the Chocolate Brown he loved to look at, well not entirely. They were the Chocolate Brown but they now had flakes of Violet and Gold dancing around in their orbs, shining brightly sort of making Ana's origanal color a back ground color no longer the dominate.

" Hello Little wolf." Ezra said slowly. I knew she could not only be human." Erza said. His voice one of wonder.

" Yes, well aren't you the smart one." Aaliyah said with acid in her tone.

She was angry because of the way he had treated Ana, had made her feel because he was a huge douche that doesn't want a weak Omega mate. Who does he think he is?

" Yes, well I can see where Ana's feistiness comes from when she displays it anyway. What is your name my Little Wolf? "

" I am called Aaliyah, and I am not your Little Wolf, in fact I am not your anything. You do not want me, Remember?" Aaliyah stated a bit sarcastically. Nah who was she kidding she was just being a Bitch because her high and mighty mate was an asshole.

Ezra flinched at the wolfs harsh tone and the words coming with it. True he had told her didn't want a mate, but he was quickly seeing whether he wanted her or not he couldn't loose her, he didn't want to. What does that mean though. Why couldn't he let her end herself? He had told her to leave if she must, but he wasn't even sure he could have let her go if she had tried. No, no he couldn't. Then why had he told her to go? Why did Aaliyah's words feel like a rejection? Why did those words hurt so much? Why did he want to kiss her until she admitted to him and herself that she was his, and he wasn't meaning the wolf but Ana. Ana was his. They both were. With that thought Ezra knew he was fucked. What the fuck... is happening to him?

Aaliyah was watching the change of emotions on Ezras' face. First he looked sick, then he looked confused, then he looked as if the world was going to end, now he looked... what, confused and angry.

" Why do you look as though you might piss yourself Alpha?" Aaliyah asked him. She didn't care if she pissed him off at least then he would not look like a broken toy. She could handle a pissed off Ezra but she just couldn't see him looking less than the mighty Alpha he was. His expression changed but he wasn't angery, he looked surprised at her words.

" I'm sorry. I just didn't realize until the moment she tried to hurt herself in a way that would completely remove her from my sight that she is the brightest thing in this world, in my world. And I can not allow her light to go out, my light to be extinguished from my sight. Not now, not ever. I know now that I would kill to protect it, to protect her, you." Ezra said. Though he still looked confused Aaliyah has the power to detect lies, she knew he ment every last word he had spoken. Her horriable, asshole, beast of an Alpha was telling her the truth. He had in fact fallen in love with her human counter part and now that he has seen she is not wolfless the man loved her too. Now if only he could act like it, they might be saved from a fate that is going to try and distory them. If one could put stock in a Moon Goddesses warnings.

" Aaliyah can you tell me why Ana was screaming in such a painful manner. She was behaving as though her head might burst into a million pieces?" Ezra asked her.

" Yes, Alpha I can. It is because I was told that I must return the memories I have been blocking from her mind. The Moon Goddess came to me in a dream and told me she must have them, that she was showing kindness to those who did not deserve her kindness, but your rath. ( Well that was almost the truth, she can not tell him it is Ana's rath she said they deserve. Oh well, it will serve the same perpose. Aaliyha thought.) She said Ana had to have those lost moments for her future choices to be made correctly. The pain in her head is the memories coming back in waves. It will stop soon. I have come forward to help with that pain. But I will never again block her mind." Aaliyah explained, only now realizing they were no longer sitting apart but she had been pulled onto Ezras' lap.

" You have been hiding her memories?" Ezra asked.

" Yes Alpha, when that sicko psychopath forced her to do things that are horried, despicable, and just plain didgusting I would push her back and take the punishments and the memories." Aaliyah explained, after his confession a few moments ago she did not see the harm in answering his questions.

" And how long have you been with Ana, hiding her memories?" Ezra asked.

" The first time was when Ana was just two years old she had been beaten and left for dead. I came to her, we shifted that night to heal so that we would not die from our wounds." Aaliyah said.

" We have not however shifted since, it was not safe, it is not safe." She told him.

Looking at Ezra while she talked. His eyes were the size of flying saucers. It made her want to laugh.

" Then why could no one since you, not even me or Maddox?" He asked stunned.

" Because I did not want anyone to." She said as if it was no big deal.

" Maddox knew there was something else that first day but he did not know what. It was you. Wasn't it my cleaver Little mate?"

" Yes Alpha, Maddox is the only one to suspect that Ana wasn't what she seemed to be. Though he didn't know why she wasn't and he still doesn't. Does he, you have blocked him out." Aaliyah said. It wasn't a question but a statement of fact.

" Yes, because it is not safe for Maddox to know anything you have said since Ana jumped." Ezra said.

" You do know that you are safe here, you can shift if you need to..." Ezra trailed off then his eyes snapped to hers.

" Wait did you say Two?" Ezra said shocked.

" Yes Alpha, Why? Jealous? No I can not shift it isn't safe here... Yet" She said.

" No, but I am confused. That would make you the youngest ever in record to shift. Why are you not safe to shift in my pack. You are my mate. Mated or not the fact remains. You will not be harmed. I would kill any who tried." Ezra said kindof upset she didn't think he could keep her safe in his own land. Hell he owned the entire Island.

" You said it yourself Alpha. Maddox isn't safe. Will you kill your own wolf to protect me and my human?" She asked him. Knowing if he even tried she could not allow it. Yes, it could be done though it would not only kill his wolf it would take half of who he was. That Ana would not let him do.

" Yes, Little Wolf if I must. That beast isn't safe for you or any Omega that will cross his path. Ana is my light even against my will she has become important to me and I will allow none to extinguish the light that shines so brightly in her. Not even my own wolf." He told her.

Aaliyah liked how he had said Ana ment so much to him. That means he as the man isn't in love now because she isn't wolfless. He had those feelings first. She smiled at him then said.

" It makes me happy to hear you say such things Alpha. Ana deserves to be loved she is a good person and she has the biggest heart. She is fiercely protective of all she loves. She is a fierce woman when someone wishes to harm her friends. Can you imagne what she will become when someone comes to harm her mate or her family. It is for this reason I can not allow any harm to come to Maddox Alpha, even by your own hand. I know my human regardless of your treatment of her is in love with you both. She would die before she would let you kill half of yourself for her, or have you not understood that by now?" Aaliyah asked.

" She loves us?" Ezra asked. He really was confused now. He'd treated her badly, he'd hurt in the worst ways.

" Yes Alpha, I felt it in her that day Maddox saved her from the hungry bear. She actually loved your beast first then she loved you. She would watch you as she cleaned your pack house. She would have these lewd thoughts that made my stomach turn when she'd watch you too. That is why your betrayals hurt us so much." Aaliyah told him.

" Why didn't you take those memories and that pain, surly it was painful enough for you to take over?" Ezra accused.

" Yes, well I tried she wouldn't allow me to take any of the harm you caused us. She said she had to be the one to endure it. That it was the only way to prove that she had a mate, one she was going to make see she was not weak and helpless." Aaliyah said sort of angry again.

" She is a stubborn woman." Ezra said.

"Yes Alpha. But she is right. She isn't weak and now you will know why. Because she took all you threw at her without my help. The only time I had enterfered was when the pain was ripping her apart. I would make her sleep. She kept those memories and that pain though Alpha" Aaliyah said to him.

" Aaliyah please do not call me Alpha. I am your Mate, you of all people should call me Ezra." He said.

" Yes Alpha." She said, grinning at him.

" Aaliyah is it ok for Ana to come back. I must tell her somethings and let her know what we have been discussing." He asked.

" Yes Alpha, but she is aware of everything that has been happening. She has heard everything. She even yelled at me when I disclosed her feeling for you and Maddox to you." Aaliyah said smiling, recalling Ana had called her a bitch and told her snitches ultamently ended up in ditches.

" I had been with the sluts Aaliyah but I have never had intercourse with any of them. I did allow Courtany to suck on me this last time but there has been no sex with them. I know that oral is sex but I have not actually lain with any of them. I was only trying to cause her enough pain to hate me, to, to leave me and reject me. I know she did but Maddox refused it because she isn't strong enough for the rejection not to kill her, so he refused in order to keep her from taking her own life in the process. I need you and Ana to forgive me, Please." Ezra said. His eyes pleading with her.

" If Maddox saved us from the bear and from the pain of the rejection killing us, why isn't he safe for us Ezra?" Aaliyah asked.

" Because he is angry we have an Omega for a mate and feels like it would be his pleasure to kill you himself. It is a problem for him if anyone other than himself, including you, kills you." Ezra said sadly.

" Then I must not allow him to do that. He will have to get use to disappointment I see." She told him. Sliding back in her mind bringing Ana forward.

" I will forgive you. I will, but you must forgive me as well my mate?" Ana said.

" What could you have possibly done to need my forgiveness Little Mate?" Ezra asked.

Ana still being held in Ezra's lap turned her head into his chest and began to cry.

" Ana please don't cry. I can take any torture, any torment one could think of. I can not abide your tears love. It feels as though each one I see streak your beautiful face is staining my soul. There is nothing I couldn't forgive you for though I do not think that you could ever do anything so terrible as to cause your tears." Ezra said running his hand over her hair.

" I know what Aaliyah told you already Ezra. She did not tell you the worst of it leaving me to tell you because it is what I asked of her." Ana said still sobbing into his chest.

" What is it Ana?" He asked. " Why are you shanking in my arms?"

" I asked you once before for a promise. I will ask you to remember it Ezra. I do not want you to hunt my pack. They will get what is coming to them one day. I am not asking because I still care for the evil bastards that live there. Some of them are good. I do not want their blood on your hands." She told him.

Ezra nodded then looked her dead in the eyes and said.

" I promised you that I would not hunt them and that I would not kill innocence. I will keep that promise. But Ana it depends on what you are about to tell me that will decide their fate. You must understand I will not allow that pack to walk freely while I watch you cry because of their treatment of you." Ezra said eyes burning now. " And Ana you will tell me what you were about to say no matter the out come for that worthless pack, love." He added.

Ana taking in a large breath began her story, knowing Ezra would not allow her to keep quiet now. She also knew if he really had feelings for her he would hunt Dariens ass to the ends of the earth just to kill him. So she started at the begining even though he already had some of the information.

" Other than what you already know. When I was in the Red Dawn pack I didn't remember anyone mistreating me until I was locked away at sixteen. Darien wanted me to be his mate. He was angry that I wasn't. He would torment me. He would bring Rogues to my attic and tell me that they were caught stealing or something that the pack couldn't let slide. He would tell me I had to kill them when I refused he'd kill them in front of me. After a few times of my refusal he would bring a pack members child gaging them with an Alpha order to forget ever seeing me when the deed was done. If I didn't kill the Rogue he'd kill the child. So I would kill them. Soon he didn't have to threaten the children for my compliance. I just did as I was told. He would force me to lick his boots. His mother came and beat me till I could barely breathe. She had known the whole time that I had not left that pack. She would tell her son that he had to get me to agree to mate with him. She would tell him if I refused to mate him willingly he'd have force the mating on me. I never knew why she pushed him to do these things. She found me at the lake just outside the territory took me home and she and the Alpha raised me. Not as their own but I could not remember them treating me badly. But then I had not been allowed to keep the most horriable of my memories because Aaliyah thought she was protecting me from them. She didn't want anyone to kill my light, my kindness so she took those torments and the memories that came with them. Please Ezra forgive me, as I was once the whore...."

Ezra stiffened tightening his arms around her. She stopped talking at his action tears running down her cheeks.

" Continue." He bit out between greeted teeth.

" Darien would. He would." Ana kept tring to get the words out but she chocked on them each time.

" Ana I will not reject you do you understand me? " He said gently.

Nodding she swallowed and continued.

" He came to me every day and asked me to take him as a mate. I refused. Then he started to bring young girls with him asking me to, to do small things like kiss him, when I refused he'd rape the one he brought gaging them with his Alpha commands much as he had the children. So I allowed him to kiss me, then he wanted me to, to, he wanted me to." She stopped and visibly gagged.

" Ana stop!" Ezra said. Anger rolling off him in waves.

" He made me take him into my mouth and suck until he was finished inside my mouth Ezra. I am so sorry. I wanted to wait for my mate. I wanted to wait for you." Ana sobbed heavily.

Swallowing hard. Ezra asked not wanting her to hurt from the memories but needing the answer to his next question.

" Ana did he fuck you?" Ezra asked her. He knew if he looked in a mirror his eyes were red. Maddox had not heard what she said about her having a wolf but he had heard her story. He may not want her but he didn't want anyone to hurt her but him. The sadistic basterd that he was would rip that Alpha apart for what he'd done. If he'd taken Ana he would skin him alive and make his death slow. But then so would I.

Shaking her head she said.

" No he said he wanted me to mate him of my own free will. That one day I would give in to the desire I could see he had for me. I have not. Then you came. I thought I'd have to live that hell until I died or I could excape. Then you left me there and Aaliyah said we were getting the hell out of there. So she broke us out. But I didn't want to be a Rogue so I tried to drown myself. You saved me twice that day Alpha. There is more but that is the worst of it. Ezra please forgive me for being a whore and doing those things?" Ana still sobbing couldn't look him in the eyes from the embarassment and guilt she felt, so she had her face burried into the hair on his chest.

" Ana." Ezra started growling out the words.

" You are not a whore. Do not ever refur to yourself as such ever again. I would kill that bastard just for making you feel like you are, But Ana I am going to kill him for several reasons the most important are these." He said wiping her tears away kissing her lips softly.

" I promise, you will have nothing but happiness from this day forward. You will never speak or think of that pack ever again. It is a phantom in your past. A ghost that can not hurt you anymore. ( He would make it a ghost pack. He swar to himself.) You are mine and you are safe." Ezra said though he was glad she was not raped by that fucking bastard he had done enough to HIS mate to die for it. But die he would. No one should have to live like she had, no one, and curtainly not his mate.

Ana nodded at his words. Ezra standing picked Ana up as he stood. He carried her back to the pack house and to his room. He laid her on the bed laying beside her still craddling her in his arms.

" Go to sleep Ana. I will be here to beat the ass of any who invade your dreams. You are going to dream of being loved and full, you are going to dream of beautiful waterfalls and unicorns dancing on clouds and all the girlie shit. No more ghosts." Ezra said kissing the top of her head.

" I found you Ezra." Ana said as she fell asleep in his arms.