Pain and Sorrow

Chapter 2

The next few days seemed to run together. I didn't leave my room. Cam would bring me meals, Papa would beg me to talk, and the twins did everything they could to see me laugh. I didn't want to laugh though, my heart was hurting. I definitely didn't want to see Daniel, the bruise on my arm a constant reminder that I needed to lay low. He tried to talk to me everyday though. He would come by, continually begging Papa to let him speak with me. Each time the same, "she will talk when she is ready. Forgiveness isn't given it is earned."

Tonight was the full moon, the distraction I desperately needed. The other packs had started to arrive late last night and early this morning. Chatter and glee was in the air, except for our home. Cam wanted to skip, fear that I would run away if he left. Everyone tried to make him see I wasn't going to run, though the thought did cross my mind. I couldn't do that to them though. They were the only family I had, I couldn't hurt them like that.

Finally leaving my room, I knocked on Cam's door hoping he would come out. No one was home except us. Papa and the twins left to get everything set for tonight and to give us some space. I smiled as I heard Cam grumbling about something. Please Moon Goddess let him find his true mate tonight.

I knocked again, hoping he would hear me and stop grumbling about whatever he was upset about. "Hey Cam? May I see how you look?" I asked and moved from the door hoping he would come out.

Another grumble led to the door clicking and the knob turning. I kept a soft smile, hoping for whatever confidence I could give to rub off and ease his mind. He really loved me as a sister and watching me breakdown had an effect on him. He felt to blame, over protective to keep me safe from harm. Upset that I would hold a grudge against him seemed to weigh on his heart.

The door opened and my jaw dropped. He was wearing a black button down with the sleeves rolled. He left the first three buttons undone and had his shirt tucked into his dark washed jeans. He was extremely good looking and I was a little jealous myself. His hair was tossed around and the cologne he was wearing reminded me of the forest after the rain had fallen. Clean and new. His face had a soft stubble along his jaw and his eyes looked tired. He must have not gotten much sleep lately.

"Well, how bad do I look?" He didn't want to meet my eyes but when he did he reflected my smile. He looked amazing. He just needed something.

"Cam. Wow. You look incredible! I am a little jealous of your mate." I wink and laugh. He smiles deeper and laughs softly. There we go, playful Cam is better than depressed Cam.

"Yeah right, I'm sure she isn't even here tonight. I guess we will find out at midnight. Sucks you can't be there.. I'd feel better than you being here by yourself." His eyes went to the floor and his smile fell. Mine did as well, I hated being alone sometimes but tonight wasn't about me.

"Cam, I'll be just fine. You always worry about me," I lay my hand on his chest and look deep into the storm his eyes are trying to hide. "You have to do this, if you don't find her tonight, we will look until we find her. You have done so much for me, I want you to know happiness too." I smiled at him and moved my hand to his strong jaw. His face seemed like it had aged in just a few days. He was always trying to be the big brother I always wanted, tonight I needed to be the strong sister he deserved.

I wrapped my arms around his abdomen and hugged him tight. Hoping every bit of strength I had could absorb into him. He needed this. He deserved this. He wrapped his big arms around me and squeezed lightly back. He was the one person I could count on, and tonight I wanted him to know it.

A knock at the door pulled us from ourselves and we laughed at how the tension eased. I went to open the door, while Cam put on his shoes. Ray and Stephen, followed by Alpha Dan flowed past me and smiled at Cam. He had all the support he would need now. I smiled and winked at him, then bowed to Alpha Dan.

"Alice, I've made an exception tonight. Seems like Flick would like for you to come and we could use someone to help serve drinks. Get dressed in something more, appropriate." Shock plastered to my face as I couldn't move. Did I hear him correctly?

"Yes, Alpha. Please excuse me, I'll be just a second." Quickly I bowed and hurried to my room. I found a black romper that covered everything and seemed appropriate for a waitress. I threw on my flats before putting on some light makeup. It couldn't have taken more than ten minutes, but my reflection looked rough. Sleepless nights, along with days filled with crying did not look good on me. I shook my head and hurried out of my room and the house following the guys to the pack house and the party.

I made my way to the kitchen and spotted Laura as she was pouring drinks and giggling as her mate whispered in her ear. I smiled and made my way over.

"You two look amazing together!" I add in, grabbing the tray and scaring them both. The smile on their faces made something in my heart pain. I hoped I found my someone one day.

Laura kissed her mate and smiled at me, wiggling her eyebrows and making me laugh. She was my first female friend in the pack, and even though she was a little younger than me, her soul seemed to be years older than herself. She always gave the best advice and her girl talk was beyond anything I could imagine. She was a true friend.

"I can't believe the old man let you come. Even as waitress, Daniel will shit a brick. All he has talked about is you the past few days. Honestly what did you do to make him so love sick? Alpha Dan has been pissed, his poor boy listing for a girl that doesn't want him." She handed me a few more glasses and grabbed a tray herself. She was an Omega for the house, which she was okay with. We made a living off the elite and their gossip and drama. Always fun to listen in on the Alpha and his wife's escapades.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, the mention of that damn wolf just made me sick. I hope his true mate shows up so he will leave me alone. I needed to be away from his jealous ass. "I really hope he finds his mate, or else I will have to run away. He's just to much and he can't take no for an answer." Laura gives me a half smile and a knowing nod. Daniel was her first and he broke her heart. He said he wasn't ready for that type of relationship after fucking her in his dad's car. What a dick.

I hip bumped her and smiled. Tonight was a night to hopefully bring new beginnings and I hoped Cam found his new future. We made our way in the crowd, handing out drinks and compliments. We wanted to make sure everyone had a good time. I made my way to Cam and handed him a drink and smiled.

"You know, more girls would talk to you if you would quit scowling. What's wrong?" I asked and handed a drink to Stephen and Ray.

"My mate, she's here. My wolf can feel her, but something isn't right. I – I don't know what to do.. Also, Daniel is looking for you and the way he keeps talking.. Just lay low." Cam looks lost, uncertain. I place my hand on his arm and squeeze.

"Things will be okay, just see. I need to hand out drinks before the toast. Find me later and we can talk." I squeeze again and walk towards the crowd. Alpha Dan is already at the head of the stairs preparing for his speech. His mate already sauced up hanging on him and fiddling with his shirt and pants. I hand out the remaining glasses and head to the kitchen. Maybe while he's talking I can sneak out to the lake. I didn't need to be there when it struck midnight and everyone's wolves took over.

I drop off my tray as Laura is already deep in conversation with another female. I nod at her and she smiles and waves. She would enjoy watching the scene and give me the run down later, right now I wanted to escape and feel the moon on my face. Heading out the back, I look around to see no one outside. The warriors on duty were probably in the trees. Since I was human they wouldn't question me being away from the party, nor would they watch after me if someone were to attack. Calculated risk I was ready to take.

The moon was huge, and bright tonight. It looked so beautiful, just as beautiful as the crystal clear lake. The reflection on the water gave way to the frogs and fish nipping at the water top. It was quiet and smelled of trees and moss. The summer insects singing around me. The lake was a good distance from the house, but was well worth it tonight. An idea crossed my mind and a sly grin spread across my face. No one was hear and since the warriors didn't care to look, I would indulge in a midnight swim.

I slipped my romper off, setting it on my shoes, and unclasped my bra freeing my breasts into the summer nights air. I braided my hair and rolled it up in a bun so that it wouldn't get in the way. The water was still as I walked closer and with my one foot dipping in, the coolness sent a shiver up my spine and goosebumps all over my body. The thrill made me keep descending into the black abyss that stayed still till the ripples I made broke the glass-like nature of the top. I decided to go further, quietly swimming as far as I dare go, feeling gentle nips of the fish that swam around me. Losing myself to the darkness I lay on my back and float on the water, letting my eyes wonder the sky. The moon was drinking me up, the stars like little diamonds twinkling down on me.

I closed my eyes, letting myself relax and float farther out. This lake was like my second home. When I felt sad, scared, or needed to be alone I would flee here. Hardly anyone ever came out here, they feared the Alpha would be upset. I smiled against the depth that was under me. I was at peace.

I opened my eyes and listened as the insects sang their beautiful song all around me. Times like this, I didn't mind being alone. I was able to think freely, clearly. I used my arms to propel myself closer to shore as I gazed at the moon. The past few days have been draining. Food was bland. My heart hurt. Mr. Morningstar invaded my dreams with his silly voice and deep green eyes. His scent plagued my senses that night, and all I wanted was to have that scent all around me. To have his hands all over me. His lips to kiss where no one had before.

Would running away from here make those feeling stop? Would it make them worse? Why was I so captivated by someone I didn't even know? Was it the danger? Girls loved a bad boy, but he was more than just a bad boy. He was the epitome of what every father dreaded and every girl fantasized.

I shook my head and swam back to the shore. I didn't want someone to possibly come out here and see myself nude. The full moon was the one time a month the wolf and all their desires took over. Didn't matter what species the wolf saw, if they wanted to fuck you they would. I tried to hide in my room on full moons, afraid that Daniel would find me and take what wasn't his to have.

I made my way up the bank, covering myself as the wind swept softly along my bare skin. This caused me to shiver, but it also reminded me I was alive. I was a whole person. I needed to get out and on my own. The graduation ceremony was in a couple days and then I would make my way back out into the world, ready to find the answers I needed. I couldn't use the Silver's kindness and hospitality any longer. I wanted to find my purpose in the world, to travel and find my 'true mate'.

"Wow.. You look even better in the moonlight than you do in artificial light." I quickly spun around to a very familiar voice. It was him. I covered my body and quickly put my clothes back on, my skin completely blushed all over. He chuckled as he helped me into my romper and begged for his intrusion.

"How did you find me Mr. Morningstar? These are pack lands, you could be killed for trespassing!" I spun around only to have his arms around me. His smile had something to it. His eyes even more beautiful in the moonlight. I forgot that demons lived for the night. This made him look even more handsome and deadly in the full moon.

"I could care less, I waited for your call but it never came. It took a bit of, persuasion, to find you." His lips slowly getting closer to my own. His cologne sending me over. "I was hoping to hear from you. My brothers couldn't understand why I've been so uneasy."

I closed my eyes as his nose softly trailer my jaw to my neckline. My body becoming weak with his words. My brain fogging over and desire filling me up. All I wanted was for him to kiss me, taste me, fuck me.

"I'm sorry.." my voice breathless and faint. "I've had a rough few days but I was going to call.. I swear." Ah! His lips laying soft kisses on my neck, his left hand trailing towards my ass as his right making its way to the back of my head. I exposed my neck more, giving him access, letting him in. Giving him permission to take me.

A soft chuckle escaped his lips as snaps came behind us. NO! Whoever you are please go away. I held his gaze, begging him to not go. I could feel his hold loosen as he stepped away. He was on Silverton Land and knowing it's Alpha he would put him to death for trespassing.

"Don't worry, I'll see you soon. Also my name is Lucian. Call me, we will finish what we started." With a wink and what felt like magic he was gone. I fell to my knees with frustration and pain. Why me? Why run away? Why not take me with you?

Tears spilled once again from my eyes as they hit the ground. The saltiness hitting my mouth as I cupped my face and truly cried into my hands. Damn him! He made me feel so weak, he made me want to lose myself. I looked up back to the sky and saw that clouds were already consuming the moon and stars. Again, it seemed mother nature knew how my heart felt as the smell of rain clung to the air. I wanted it to fall on me, drown me, fill up the pain I felt so deep inside.

"There you are! I was worried when I couldn't find you!" Cam ran and kneeled down next to me. His hand on my back as he looked at my once again broken face.

"Come on, let's go home. We will talk once you have slept," scooping me up in his arms, I snuggled into Cam's hold. He was truly my protector. Oh! His mate! Did he find her?

"Before you ask, yes I found her. She rejected me, she wanted to be with Daniel. Looks like you won't have to worry about him anymore huh?" The pain in his voice filled me with rage, and hate. How could she? Daniel was nothing compared to Cam. He was a man whore, he only had money and his daddy's power. She was stupid.

"I can feel your rage, I'm glad she did. I couldn't handle that type of girl. She was a Barbie, a true diva. Imagine me with a drama queen." I smiled as he laughed. Once I gained enough of my strength back I patted his chest, asking to walk again. He nodded and set me back down, smiling at me. Fuck her, she wasn't good enough for Cam.

We walked in silence, listening to howls as well as cries. Rejection hurt, it broke you because it was that piece of your soul breaking away. For Cam to smile and look for me, he was so strong. I'm sure he would cry tonight in silence, but right now he wanted to remain strong. At least Daniel wouldn't be a problem anymore.

Crossing the tree line and towards our home, I felt my hair being pulled from its bun. "you went for a swim?" The question was responded with a smile. My hair was still a bit wet, and now free either clung to me or flowed in the wind.

Cam's smile was true. He was happy. His eyes reflected what the moon shone tonight. He would make a great Beta, and one day an amazing father. If I was any other girl, I would have fallen for him. His handsome face and kind soul was something so rare. He cared about people, and wanted to protect everyone. I smiled as I put my hand on his cheek. I loved him, but only as a brother. Maybe in another life, I would have fallen so deeply and madly in love with him.

Our sweet moment was interrupted by a girl screaming and cries piercing the air. Oh no, not another one. This one though, this one had Cam's attention. It was as if he knew who the cries were bellowing from. In front of us a girl in a very tight red dress ran towards the pack house, head in hands, crying and cursing.

Cam looked at me, and back to the girl. Did he know her? She didn't look like anyone I knew. In the darkness Daniel emerged and the questions on my tongue were answered. That girl, she was the one that had rejected Cam for Daniel.

"Cam you should go find her, she's probably really upset." Yet, Cam stayed in place. His eyes flickered from me to Daniel. Why did he reject her? Was she not beautiful enough?

Before I could say anything else, Cam grabbed my hand and led us home. Far away from Daniel. I wanted to ask what happened but I knew better when he held that stone expression. He was mad. He was rejected and his heart broken and for what? To watch his true mate be rejected and have his heart broken again? Second chance mates or chosen mates could mend a broken heart, but not everyone wanted that.

Realization hit me, Daniel was true to his words. He would find a way to get me, and he would destroy anyone in the way. I saw his eyes when he saw how Cam had my hand. His wolf had taken over and he would kill Cam to get me. We hurried home as I locked the door behind me. The house was silent and dark, Papa and the twins were still out. I wanted to ask Cam how he was when he pulled me in for a hug.

I wrapped my arms around him and that's when I felt his body start to heave. He was crying, he was broken, and he needed someone. I tightened my hold and rubbed his back as the soft cries filled the room. He needed his sister, just someone to understand the pain.

"It's okay. I'm here, and I won't let you be alone. You are always my rock, tonight let me be yours." I shushed and hummed as he cried. Letting him lose himself to the pain. He would need this to repair himself, he knew it too.

I pulled him to his room, his usually rock hard hand now soft and breaking. The last time he was this broken, Kaylie the bitch cheerleader had led him on and used him to make her then ex-boyfriend jealous. Cam cried in my arms all night as I just let him break and rebuild. Tonight though, this would need more and I knew exactly what to do.

Crawling in bed, I cradled his head and pushed my fingers through his hair. He curled up into a ball and like a small child wept into my lap. I remembered a song that I had heard a long time ago, one that the only mother I felt I had sung.

Raking my fingers softly through his soft curls, I sang with softness and peace. All the love I had flowed as the words transcended in his heart. The darkness and pain that clouded him were breaking away, letting freedom and tranquility to break the chains of deception and sorrow. The song carried on and on, repeating the words for hours. Finally, sleep replaced the cries. When he woke in the morning, yes he would still hurt but it wouldn't be as bad.

I slowly drifted off, humming to myself and remembering the green eyes that had found me. In this last moment of consciousness I knew that I would do anything to find Lucian. For some reason, my soul sang for him. Demons didn't have mates, they had slaves. Sex slaves. I was terrified of what life would be like with him, yet there was excitement in the not knowing. I will find you Lucian Morningstar, and when I do, please don't let me go.