Naruto Shippuden Parodic Summary by CrazyBomb World

Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJqdnBSIT8E

It's advised to read this while watching the video. I'm so good for description.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++++++++IN THE PAAYST++++++++++

Minato: Alright, kids. It's not because I'm your sensei and we"re at war that I can't be irresponsible and let you struggle alone.

Obito: But you're crazy! Who will guide us, then?!

Minato: Kakashi. He has just graduated as an elite ninja.

Obito: He's like 12. It doesn't make any sense.

Kakashi: I was promoted because I was talented, or because they hire anyone in the military which would explain how you got here, sensei.

Minato(sighs deeply): You know what? Have fun, can't wait to see how it'll end.

++

Obito(under a rock half dead): Whoa, what a surprise, asshole... It didn't end so well after all.

Kakashi(pushing the giant rock): Obito, no! If only I knew a jutsu that could destroy this boulder in a flash...

Obito(weakly): Use Chidori, dimwit...

Kakashi(wallowing): What a tragedy!

Kakashi(stoic): Well, not that I'm complaining, but I have to do the necessary after a friend death.

Obito: A decent burial?

Kakashi: Remove his organs while they're still warm! Rin, rip his eye off.

Rin: Fine!

Obito(in pain): No, stop! Guys please! OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOO!

++++++++++IN THE PRESENT++++++++++

Naruto: After 3 years of intensive training and chara-design change, Naruto Uzumaki is back to kick asses.

Neighbor 1: Will you shut up, dumbass?

Neighbor 2: It's fucking 6 AM. Some people are sleeping.

Neighbor 3: Go die in a ditch, you outcast.

Naruto: It won't be enough to demotivate me...

Neighbor 1: LMAO, see, we did a fruit ninja on your mug!

++

Kakashi: Ok, kids. We'll do a test to see your new abilities. Come catch my bells.

Naruto: The last time we did it, I ended with your fingers up my asshole, no thanks.

Kakashi: Bah, then quickly summarize what you learned in 3 years.

Naruto: I can do Rasengans 5cm larger than before.

Sakura: I can hit really, really, really haaaard.

Kakashi(deadpans): Great... Now the One Piece's fandom is gonna laugh at us!

++

Tsunade: For your next mission, you'll have to save Gara who's become the President of Suna.

Naruto: I'm OK to save him but... how did this psycho became President?

Tsunade(sagely): It wouldn't be the first time a guy with suspiscious criminal record end up to power. He has been kidnapped by an Akatsuki member: Michael Bay (Deidara)!

*Flashback begins*

Deidara: ART IS AN EXPLOSION! Why would you need a good scenario when you have explosions? Hahahaha!

*Flashback ends*

Tsunade: Since we don't have any reinforcements, I leave you with granny Chiyo.

Chiyo: I warn you teens, be careful where you step, I'm a bit incontinent.

Naruto(singing): We're in shit.

++

Deidara: You're late. You're so late that we give him a new nickname... Joffcok, Gaara Joffcok (Garage of cocks).

Naruto: Such a pun can't go unpunished!

Chiyo: Sasori, dear grandson, long time no see. It's been 20 years that I've been waiting for you to change my diaper.

Sasori: And people ask me why I betrayed the village...

Chiyo(showing his parents rest): You wanna catch up with your dead parents?

Chiyo talking for the Father puppet: Oh Sasori, we're ashamed of you! You really didn't end well. We'd almost rather be dead and never see this.

Chiyo talking for the Mother puppet: Absolutely! Put me back in my box!

Sasori(levelheaded): Geez, it's fucked up to use my stuffed parents!

Sakura: You can"t have used them as sexdolls?

Sasori: Don't add another layer to this, please.

Chiyo: You're talking about diapers? Change mine! (In french layer and diaper are both said "couche")

++

Chiyo: Hey kid, is it normal that your friend's heart isn't beating anymore?

Naruto: Geez, I did said him to be careful (another pun that only work in French)

Chiyo: Oh, I'm gonna resurrect him your friend the red panda. But since I am totally senile, I completely forgot about the drawback for the resurrection jutsu... Hummmmm... (-proceeds to die-)

Garaa(waking up): Oh no! This granny died for me and I didn't even know her!

Naruto: Don't worry, bro, given her advanced stage, she didn't have much longer anyway. She was making dust with each of her steps.

+++TRANSITION+++

Naruto: Sasuke, why are you still with that disgusting pedophile?

Sasuke: He trains me so that I can master the Emo Way.

Sasuke(while drawing his sword):And like every Emo guy, I have to be an asshole with everyone around me...

Sasuke(noticing it isn't realistic to draw the sword as he wanted to): Huuh... Could you move back a little... My arm's too short to unsheathe my sword.

Naruto: This is really embarassing...

Sasuke: Oh, come on... I can't be charismatic 24/7!

Naruto: You know that Orochimaru's trying to steal your body, right?

Sasuke finally gets it and goes to confront Pedomaru.

++

Sasuke: Explain yourself, old man. Why didn't you take my body when I was 13 and still vulnerable?

Orochimaru: I like it when the fruit's ripe, I prefered to wait until your sexual majority before entering in you, that's all! (*This sentence shan't be taken out of it context*)

Sasuke: You're of no use to me anymore...

Orochimaru: Argh, how did you become so strong...?

Sasuke: It's simple. Uchiha is stronger than ya.

++

Kabuto: Now that you killed my master, what're you planning to do?

Sasuke: I'm a teen rejected by society, isn't obvious? Put a band together.

++

Suigetsu: I accept to join you if you help me to get the BIG sword of my dead master, Zabuza!

Sasuke: Lemme guess, to compensate for a lack of affection?

Suigetsu: Ah, no, no. Just to compensate the incongruent size of my sex.

++

Karin(normally): You saved my life, 3 years ago. Thus, I'm forever indebted to you.

Karin(sultry): My body is yours...

Sasuke: You're like the 30th girl to say that. You don't have anything special...

Karin: Yeah, but if you bite me, I can heal you.

Sasuke: A walking paracetamol... Hmm... Why not?!

++

Jugo(crazy): I'll tear your limbs apart one by one! I'm crazy!!!

Jugo(calm down): But since you look a little like a cellmate, I'm clean.

++

Sasuke: Oookaay... Now that we're all here, we'll now be the group... Evanescence.

Karin: Already taken.

Sasuke: Euuh... So we will be Taka.

Suigetsu: A bird's name? Really?

Karin: Talk about lack of charisma...

Suigetsu: Or Tokyo Hotel, it could be cool!

Karin: We have a punk style but not that much!

Jugo: Can we go back on Evanescence?

Sasuke: YOU ALL, SHUT UP!

+++TRANSITION+++

Deidara: Hey kid, wanna be in my next movie? It will be about cars transforming into giant robots, involved in a war taking place in city centre; helped by an white as an ass American Guy, middle aged who ends up fucking with a Top model!

Sasuke: It's the same scenario for all your other movies.

Deidara gets susceptible and explodes.

Sasuke: What the fuck was that?!

Karin: Michael Bay can't face the truth.

++

Itachi: SO, my brother, did you learn to diss since lass time?

Sasuke: I'm gonna kick your ass.

3

2

1

GO!

Itachi: You're a cheap version of me.

Sasuke: At least, I don't need to do a partnership with terrorists to feel like I exist.

Itachi: I didn't have to wait for Orochimaru to be sick to be able to humble him unlike others...

Sasuke: Seing your mug, did your dad shit on you?

Itachi: The onlu pussy you have ever seen was at your birth: YOUR MOM'S!

Sasuke: We said not to insult mothers!

Itachi: Oh yeah, I'm dumb. We have the same one!

Sasuke: Either way, I was her FAVORITE...

Itachi: Argh! You hurt me. Good job, bro...(-proceeds to die-)

+++TRANSITION+++

Jiraiya: I found the enemy's den. I don't have any reinforcements or backup plan. It'll go as planned.

Tsunade: That's right, that's right, have fun.

++

Jiraiya: So you're Akatsuki's boss... "Pain" [Pronunced in French, and it means bread]

Pain: It's pronunced /pAYn/

Jiraiya: You don't have to feel "pained" about that.

Pain: You're as pitiful as you were back then.

Jiraiya: Your face seems somewhat familiar... I have trained you during the war.

Pain: You call THAT "training"?

*Flashback begins*

Jiraiya, Nagato, Konan and Yahiko disguised as toads:

Jiraiya: Repeat after me, kids: 'These cattails imported from Italy that face South Africa, they're here: The cattails!' [The "they" her is used for male gender].

Yahiko: But sensei, you misgendered the cattails. We should say 'they're here' [The they here standing for female gender]

Jiraiya: For that, you'll stay 10 more hours in this outfit!

*Flashback ends*

Pain: The Best Ninja couldn't defeat you but with my clones, we'll be your end. After all, you're never better served than by yourself. (-proceeds to fuck over Jiraiya-)

Jiraiya(while being trashed): Argh! Wait, wait, wait!

Pain: What again?

Jiraiya(stuffed with chakra metal): Don't you think I look like a porcupine from this angle?

++

Jiraiya: I shall quickly deliver my message. Go Fukasaku, deliver the super secret message.

Fukasaku: Don't die Jiraiya.

++

Jiraiya(dying): I did tell her there wouldn't be any problem...

+++TRANSITION+++

Fukasaku: I brought back the secret message of Jiraiya to defeat Pain. (reveals the message)

(The message is a hand sign for 'no problem')

Naruto(triggered): That fucking old hermit, fu-

++

Fukasaku: I propose you to train with me in order to teach you the toad's art.

Naruto: Don't you have a swaggier animal to propose? Like an eagle or a tiger or... I'll even pick an otter, please...

Fukasaku: Sorry, but it's the Great Toad Sage of prophecies who said that I had to teach you.

++

Great Toad Sage: Youare the Child of Prophecy, Naruto.

Tsunade: Wait, wait, wait, you said the same thing to Jiraiya.

Great Toad Sage(fuking high): You are also the Child of Prophecy, Tsunade. I am the Child of Prophecy, too. We are all the Child of Prophecy!

++

Naruto: Let's end it quickly.

Fukasaku: I will tell you an ancestral ninja secret. Didn't you even wonder what's the difference between a cat and a frog?

(The joke here is hard to translate in english, so I used their reserve joke)

Naruto: Not really...

Fukasaku: A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night!

Naruto: I don't get the pun... (Me neither)

Fukasaku: When you'll get it, it'll mean that you can use the Sage Mode.

++

Pain(above Konoha): I will restore the peace in this world. And by peace I mean hold the world in hostage with a nuclear threat! Shinra Tensei! (Konoha rekted)

++

Naruto appears with the team of toad summons all in a classy pose.

Naruto(while noticing the destruction): Your savior is heeeeeeeeeeere...! Where's the village?

Fukasaku: It's Pain... he destroyed all around him, what a monster!

Naruto: Pheuw... Luckily the village was destroyed, otherwise we would have crushed a lot of civilians while teleporting ourselves.

++

Pain: So, you are Naruto? Had someone ever given you the definition of suffering?

Naruto: Suffering is seeing your ugly mug full of piercing?

Pain: Repeat it!

Naruto: Hey guys. Bring me a magnet, we will fuck up his face!!!

++

Hinata: I take this wrongly chosen opportunity to make you my declaration, Naruto. I looove you?

Naruto: Don't take it badly but I completely forgot who you are. Didn't you work in the noodles stand?

Pain(wasting Hinata): I'm trying to make a bad guy monologue here, can I have 5 min?! So where was I?

Naruto(can't believe it): You killed the noodle seller?! Fury mode activated!

++

Kurama: Yess~ Let yourself be filled by the fury power! With this power, you'll have a silky haire and so you can bait all convention visitors who will all want to make you a hug!

Minato: Son, I advice you against that.

Naruto: And, why so?

Minato: Unwittingly you're creating a really crappy animation out there.

++

Pain is being rekted between drawing styles by Fury Naruto.

Pain: Ouch. Ouch. Why is everything distorted? Is Picasso animating me or what? SO that's the real suffering? That's the real suffering?

++

Minato(punched by Naruto): Ouch

Naruto(crying): Why did you seal the demon fox in me?

Minato(sagely): I wanted to see how it was going to end up. Admit that you're too funny with your mustaches, you cannot even remove them!

++

Nagato: So like that, you defated me... but you won't be able to save this world that's condemned, how do you intend to restore peace while you are only a child? I massacred all your village, nothing you could tell me will change my convitions.

Naruto: Pain, it's bad to be evil.

Nagato: Oh shit, I think he's right! I seriously fucked up, I will resurrect everyone in the village. I'm sorry! Sorry. Sorry!

++

Resurrected villagers: Naruto saved us! We love you all Naruto!

Naruto(thinking to himself): You have martyred me for years, and now from nowhere you like me. You hypocrites! Wait for me to be President, there will be no need for Pain to sweep you.

+++TRANSITION+++

Obito: Wakey Sleeping Beauty?

Sasuke: Who the fuck are you?

Obito: Just a random guy who came to reveal you that your brother was good from the beginning!

*Turnaround music*

Sasuke: Wuuut?

Obito: Itachi wanted to prevent a revolt of your clan against Konoha, that's why he killed all the Uchiha to protect the village and to save you. Your brother loved you Sasuke!

Sasuke: Bullshit in noodles?

Obito(defending himself): But what? I swear it's true!

Sasuke: After killing my clan he asked me to kill my best friend for me to get stronger.

Obito(defending himself): Yeah but it was probably a metaphor!

Sasuke: He tortured me psychologically with illusions and in one of them he ripped one of my eye of.

Obito(defending himself): You tried to kill him. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

Sasuke: He forced me to eat hundreds of omelettes...

Obito(dumbfounded): Uh... What?

*Flashback begins*

Itachi: Look, I made a number of omelets equal to the number of our clan memeber that I murdered. Bon appétit.

Sasuke: I hate you.

Itachi: Ungrateful bastard.

*Flashback ends*

Obito: Okay, I have nothing to say for that one.

++

Obito: Would you like joining my terrorist group?

Sasuke(crying): My brother loved me. You wanted me to protect the village, for me to be worthy of it... So I'm going to do exactly the opposite by contradiction spirit!

++

Sasuke(badass): As a memeber of Akatsuki, what's my mission?

Obito: Firstly, you are going to calm down, you're not member but an intern. And like all good interns, you'll do the boring stuff in my stead. Go fetch the bearer of the 8-tailed demon!

++

Sasuke: Killer Bee, are you going to follow us nicely or by force?

(For Killer Bee passages, as I'm not rap thug to reproduces his flow in english, I'll just give the general idea each time and you'll listen to his rap in the video)

Killer Bee: They were impolite, so I'll fuck their ugly mugs up. They're too stupid to get anything I'm saying. It all passes them over the head.

Sasuke: Uh no, it does not pass me over the head, I have very good reflexes. I get it directly. Wesh.

*Fight scene*

Sasuke(launch Amateratsu): By the power of the super conjunctivitis!

Killer Bee: Oh fuck! Ahh!

++

Obito: You have succeeded. We will be able to absord his demon.

Then the presumed Killer Bee is revealed as a tentacle.

Obito(speechless): But you're not seriouss?! You managed to confuse Hulk Hogan's doppelganger with a tentacle?

Sasuke: Yeah well, it's not easy everyday okay?!

+++TRANSITION+++

Sakura: I'm going to kill Sasuke! He's doing too much mess.

The crowd composed of the survivors of teams 7, 8, 9 and 10: Well, go on, we're looking at you!

++

Sakura(whines): Buwawa, I can't do it, buwawaaa

Naruto: You still have a crush on Sasuke although he's crazy.

Sakura: Don't blame me, he's too handsome. His new cut makes me think too much of his majesty Noctis...

Sakura(*Plan on crazy Sasuke*): Look how adorable he is~

++

Obito: Sasuke, let's go. Let's not lose more time on these idiots.

Naruto: Who are you?

Obito: A new mysterious antagonist and you'll never know who I am! Oh lala, what a suspense!

Kakashi: Obito, is that you my pal?

Obito: Nooooo~

Kakashi: Stop it, I would recognize your duck voice between thousands.

Obito: My mystery has fucked up. We go to plan B then...

++

Obito: I declare the 4th great ninja war. And with my army of plantman we will smash you. Muhaha

Gaara: If you were going to attack u, why didn't you do it sneakly.

Obito: Because, I'm fair play mind you!

++

Obito: SHit! I have a plant army against 6 countries. I'm fucked

Kabuto: I can give you a new stcok of antagonist if you want...

Obito: Please... yes!Uh... (cough) I'm listening to your proposal.

Kabuto: It's easy. We take the same and we start again.

+++TRANSITION+++

Naruto: Hey, the rapper! Would you teach me to master my demon fox?

Killer Bee: Show me what your rap is worth and maybe I'll get you from zero to hero.

Naruto: It's time for the pokerap! (-proceeds to interpret I'll catch them all as rap-)

Killer Bee: Yeah, we'll say I've seen worse. The methode to control your demon fox I'll tell you. You teach him respect.

Naruto: By trying to get to know him?

Killer Bee: BY SMASHING ITS SNOUT!

++

Kurama: Motherfucker! I'm going to eat you! I'm getting out of here and I'll a-

+++TRANSITION+++

Random 1: Hey dudes! It's Madara Uchiha!

Random 2: It's a living legend!

Madara: Hey guys! Have you player Dinasty Warriors before? I'm doing you a demonstration.

Madara the soloed the army.

Random x: He's too many! He's too many!!! Argh!

++

Madara: Now, I'll make the sky fall on your head.

Gaara: You're bluffing, Madara. You're bluffing.

Naruto: Not sure.

Gaara: But yes, he's bluffing.

Naruto: He does not seems like he's bluffing.

Gaara: Well, do want us to vote?

First meterorite down.

Naruto: Maybe he's bluffing. Maybe he had only one meteorite.

Second meterorite down.

Naruto: Ok! He's wicked.

++

Killer Bee: Now settle your score with this dumbass. Use everythong I taught you.

Naruto started singing:

Conquérir le monde si c'était si facile. (Conquering the world if it were so easy.)

Tout le monde le ferait. (Everyone would do it.)

Qui tu serais pour réussir où tout le monde a échoué. (Who would you be to succeed where everyone else has failed.)

Oublies tes rêves prétentieux. (Forget your pretentious dreams.)

Redescend sur terre ou tu n'en reviendras jamais. (Do a reality check or you'll be forever lost.)

Obito: No I still want to conqueer the world.

Killer Bee: Shit. I knew I should have taught you to do Booba's!

Naruto: The little bear?

++

Obito: It's time to reveal my true face.

Naruto: We already knew who you were asshole.

Obito: I was wearing this mask, not to hide my face but to prove that no matter who I am, my actions will lead you to th einevitable! The end of this world condemned to disappear...

Kakashi: I think it's mostly to hide your mug that looks like a testicle skin!

Obito: I do not allow you to ridicule me.

Naruto: Hey, Two-Face, you forgot your piece.

Obito(controlling his angers): Pheuw... It's been a while that I killed someone. So, hop (-Neji wasted-)

Hinata: Neji noooo

Neji: I'm dying but don't forget that fate of fate is nothing else than fate *blah blah blah*

Naruto: Hinata, bring me a kunai.

Hinata: To put an end to his suffering.

Naruto: No. I want to deepen his wounds and put an end to OUR suffering.

++

Random 1: What the fuck is this thing?

Obito: I present you Juubi, the 10 tailed demon

Kakashi: He looks damn disgusting, your demon.

Obito: But no, it's in good shape. Isn't it so, big boy?

Juubi: KILL MEEEEE

+++TRANSITION+++

Sasuke: I changed my mind! I'll become President of the village finally.

Someone: Naruto said First on that. You really don't have any personality, huh?

Hinata: The guy totally thought the manga was called Sasuke Shippuden.

++

Obito: I'm the 10 tails Jinchuriki. You can't do anything against me.

++

Madara: You lunatic, it was my plan since the beginning to become the 10 tails Jinchuriki.

++

Black Zetsu: No, it was MY plan to resurrect my mother, Goddess at the origin of the chakre on Earth.

++

Kaguya: After hundreds years of sleeping, let's see what the new generation created as miracles on this Earth.

Naruto: Reverse Harem no Jutsu~

Kaguya(flustered): Ok byyye.

+++TRANSITION+++

Sasuke: Finally, I will once again change my opinion and kill all the old leaders of the alliannce to create a new world.

Naruto: The author doesn't really know what to do with you anymore.

Sasuke: If you get in my way, I will kill you until you die.

Naruto: It's not because you're right that it doesn't means you're wrong. You force me to use my trumpcard: It's bad to be evil!

Sasuke: You forget that: It's not evil to be good!

Naruto: Hah! I have nothing left.

Sasuke: So we kill each other. NARUTO

Naruto:SASUKE

++

Sasuke: It was a bad idea?

Naruto: Do not judge our dumb logic, we're only 16.

Sasuke: Be honest with me, why do youconsider me as your friend? As soon as we see each other, we spit in each other's mouths and bash each other.

Naruto: Remember in the Kakashi sensei test.

*Flashback begins*

Naruto: I'm starving.

Sasuke: We can share my meal if you want.

Naruto: Really?

Sasuke: Yeah, because you're fucking pitiful.

*Flashback ends*

Naruto: You understood that day that food is life and anyone sharing fod is a good man.

Sasuke: I don't know if it's because of the pain caused by the loss of my arm or by your speech but I want to cry.

Naruto: I love you, Sasuke.

Sasuke: Me too, Naruto. The problem is that the village talking about tolerance is more for manif for all than LGBT+, if you see what I mean?

Naruto: Bah. We just have to find an alibi. I'll pretend to date the noodle seller.

Sasuke: Does that mean I'm going to take Sakura? Haaarrd...

+++TRANSITION+++

Boruto: How dare you be busy 24/7 protecting and leading a country instead of just taking care of my little self? You just had me to get the alloc', I bet. Asshole. Moreover, I inherited your shitty voice. I hate you!

++

Naruto: Shikamaru, do you remember when the whole village martyred me because I didn't have aany power?

Shikamaru: Yeah, but you're President now. You have nothing to worry about anymore.

Naruto: Me no, But you...