ABCs

ABCs...

thinking of those familiar melodies.

From a time so distant,

things once held close now far away; missing it.

Dopamine levels start to rise,

soon meeting their bittersweet demise.

Looking back to a child who once was them; innocent, golden.

That child grew up and is now standing in the sunlight; still frozen;

gives more than they have; often.

No one's theirs; no one's there to do the same.

The familiar melodies now mean nothing more than a lonely anthem.

Making things spin with a happy, mind breaking mayhem.

Merely existing starts hurting.

Emotionless tears start emerging

from stone walls built up so high for the fear of communicating.

That thing so essential

but a lifetime of rejection has taken its toll, broken them, left that golden

child indifferential.

The kids at school call them crazy;

at least they aren't goofing around or being lazy.

Nights of laying awake, alone make their vision rather hazy

and when people talk to them, their mind gets spacey.

They snap back in a second at the sliver of hope of connection,

over and over facing that crippling rejection.

Spending a few minutes turned hours staring at a wall, can't stop, even though the color over asserts

that anthem hidden within it turns into a chorus; symphony; concert.

So loud they're only an inch away before they implode;

They don't, it's just another episode.

Recalling a rhyme once used in days of battling kiddish fears,

maybe it can evolve into something to be used as a weapon in this war of momentous voices at the back of their head and make them disappear:

Monster of monsters in my head,

you try to keep me home in bed,

I still rise feeling dead;

that aura of empty feeling you spread surrounds my neck.

Tomorrow another day I might die,

though I still get up, make a legacy, do something; try.

You can't make me do shit,

only think things and make me feel like it.

Monster of monsters in my head,

I've slain the beasts you've sent: you're next.

Progress:

nothing big, but the voices start to say less.

Now the frozen child, somewhat thawed, sits a little straighter,

noticing things that once made them smile; the world seems a

tad bit brighter.