Alone v Lonely

It's a rhythm in my head

that keeps me moving when I want to drop dead;

a beating in my chest

that pushes me to do my best - be better than the rest.

I'm falling apart

but a cacophonous debate in my heart

brings to life the start

Of a flow of words written because they can't be heard.

Some thoughts hit so close, they get labelled as absurd.

Its going faster, the pulse in my head

When it's forming ideas to potentially be read.

Hearts that bend

as things get worse; a terrible end.

We were alive that night when dusk bled to twilight -

dawn to an overwhelming, blinding light.

From scenes went well in my mind

Fall apart to a world so unkind.

You're alone.

It's a feeling that eats you up inside.

Don't know until it's too late.

Makes your mind want to run and hide

As your being longs for an embrace; instead being forced to face unfamiliar emotions without a guide.

It hits you head on

Making you feel misplaced where you belong.

Silence serenades you with its torturous song

Seconds bordering minutes to hours; time failing its construct; lifelong.

It feels like forever since you last smiled.

People come and go; never any constant and all the change makes you cry like a child.

It hurts most when they come and say they're here to stay, like a parent comforting their kid from a nightmare, but they just leave one day because they think they can handle things themselves.

If only that's how life would work.

If only that feeling could be turned off; even if it just wouldn't lurk;

You're lonely.

Back to dusk again.

Only this time, without a friend.

It would be alright if I were just alone

But now I just sit here, lonely.