Bittersweet Love(3)

--- Honoka Suzuki's POV, After a few days ---

I look forward to the next class.

It's astonishing how easily people change when they fall in love.

I went through all the common stages of "love" myself, and I can tell, it's only smooth when it comes out of fairy tales.

Accepting it wasn't a simple task.

I returned home and reflected on what transpired that day. Curiously, those interactions repeated in one form or another, whether coincidentally or not.

Soon, people began speculating whether this was his method to "tame" someone like me.

While it felt somewhat humiliating, I didn't particularly mind or hate it. In fact, I wanted to tell them that he wouldn't need to put in so much effort if he truly wanted to...

What's wrong with me?

It was a question I should've posed to myself and contemplated deeply, but I couldn't seem to find an answer by myself. Even if this sensation of "love" had taken root, it didn't mean I should let it germinate any further.

If I hadn't gone through all that, perhaps I'd have happily embraced these feelings and pursued him as aggressively as possible, as I know better than anyone just how appealing he was as a man. It's impossible for him to not be tempted by anyone either.

Love is a race, but you need to expose yourself to the fullest to have a chance, which I was scared of.

I needed to ascertain his true intentions. Anyone with a modicum of common sense could understand that there was something going on. However, nobody dared to say anything openly, fearing they might unintentionally spread rumors and end up as his target.

As long as he doesn't do something completely reckless in public, no one will say anything about him first, because that can only backfire.

In essence, they were waiting for someone foolish enough to take the first step before even implying anything themselves. It was a precarious situation for him, and I wondered why he didn't cease displaying such "attention" towards me, given that he must have been aware of the potential consequences.

Yet, before I could find any answers, I found myself simply...

A girl in love.

I paid more attention to my appearance, adjusted and changed my nail polish to complement my overall style, invested more time in skincare, selected the best outfits from my wardrobe, and never went to class unless I was confident...

My heart felt content, but my mind was fraught with apprehension. I was deeply afraid that if I allowed this infatuation to consume me, I would once again lose pieces of myself when he inevitably reminded me that I was nothing more than an object.

I wished to steer clear of such a bitter ending for myself, yet I was inexperienced in such matters.

Despite my efforts to divert my thoughts, my mind inevitably circled back to him, particularly since the house was consistently quiet, offering little distraction from my thoughts.

Even while rereading notes or attempting to focus on my studies, his handsome face would inexplicably intrude upon my thoughts, causing me to hastily discard the notes I was reading as I had almost finished drawing a little Ren instead...

So cute...

Yet, nothing compared to the moments when he was physically present in class, explaining various topics. My hand would seemingly raise on its own accord, eager to engage him in conversation. I would formulate questions on the fly and subtly insert myself into the discussions, trying to strike up a dialogue with him.

  Love seemed unstoppable for someone as hungry as me, and since the situation had persisted, I decided to embrace it.

First step: get to know him better. Summoning the courage to do so took time, but I was determined to confront this issue head-on.

Would I be... lucky? At least this once?

I fervently hoped so. If God did exist, I had but this one plea...

It wasn't "his" fault, though, because, at that moment, I had no inkling that I wasn't the novel's female lead...

--- Honoka Suzuki's POV, After the conversation of chapters 20-21 ---

I couldn't contain my happiness when he didn't refuse me. In fact, he noticed the changes I'd made and even complimented me. He was even interested!!

It felt like I was floating on cloud nine, so caught up in the moment that I pushed all my fears and doubts to the back of my mind, for now.

With a happy hum, I made my way towards my mother's car. I had told her that my time with Ren was over for the day, and she eagerly came to pick me up, treating me like a Queen.

However, I had long lost my trust in her, knowing that her primary interest lay in the potential connections this association could bring us.

Of course, since it became some kind of rumor that he was "taming" me, my parents also heard of it, but instead of doing something against it, they welcomed it... 

Before I could leave, she had the audacity to suggest I spend the night with him, to which I promptly refused.

I mean, come on, how old did she think I was again? My mother's shamelessness knew no bounds.

But the thought of being held by him... It brought a grin to my face, accompanied by a rather embarrassing sound that I won't delve into further as I know just how down bad I was.

As I indulged in these thoughts, my mirth abruptly subsided when I spotted someone crossing the street and heading in the opposite direction. The word "beautiful" echoed through my mind, for that was the only way to describe her. With her striking purple hair and eyes, she seemed more like an ethereal being, a frozen lily of sorts.

Had I lost my mind? Why was I thinking of a girl like that?

Still, I felt a bit jealous as I knew I couldn't compare to her at all. Men would flock to try and obtain her for sure.

My evident surprise didn't go unnoticed as she turned her gaze in my direction. Caught off guard, I awkwardly tried to justify my staring,

"Err...sorry. I just thought you were really beautiful, I mean it—"

Once I looked in front of me again, though, she was gone.

What? Did she just go away without even hearing me out?

...Or was that some kind of ghost? A chill ran down my spine, and I didn't dare look back as I hurriedly left.