Day 4 (III)

I could hear them talking but I was just looking at Wade. I never thought that man would get a beautiful human being.

"What are you thinking Louise?" Ivan asked as he sat next to me.

"Nothing. I'm happy for my best friend. He seems that he's really happy with his current relationship." I said as I looked at Wade.

"I feel that you liked him back then am I right?" Ivan asked.

I just nodded and smiled. "I confessed my feelings but he said that he would prefer if I would still be his best friend because of no breakups and heartaches."

"Really? He rejected you?" Ivan asked in disbelief.

I laughed at his reaction because he didn't seem to believe that Wade rejected me.

"Not really a rejection because it also has a silver lining. If he forced himself to like me back then I guess our relationship wouldn't be happy and strong. He wouldn't be happy like we're seeing now if he's ended up with me." I said while smiling at Ivan.

"But seriously, If I would be him I would fall in love with you. You're beautiful inside and out. The way you think outside of the box is effing attractive." He looked at me. "And your perspective about life."

I frowned at him. "But you're not him so sorry."

He glared at me but I'm just laughing at his reaction.

"I can fall for you anytime. Even if I'm not him, I can like you." He said.

"But everyone can like me. Your friends and my friends like me." I joked again.

"Stop teasing me." He rolled his eyes.

I stared at him while he's looking ahead. Ivan is such a nice person. How can I not fall in love with this gentleman?

Honestly, when I first stan RealSeven he's the first one to catch my attention. The way he protects his fans, his love for his parents, and he respects girls. He's so gentle that's why most of the girls Ivan is their ideal type and dream man.

"How many heartbreaks did you get from the past? I know you have no boyfriend since birth but, you know one-sided love?" He asked.

"I think four? I don't know." I replied "Levie, Wade, James, Alvin. They didn't like me back." I counted on my finger the people I fell in love with.

"All of them?" Ivan asked so I nodded.

"Yup, but it's okay I've moved on." I looked at Ivan and smiled.

"Good to hear that. They aren't good enough for you. You deserve better Louise not just a better but best man in this world." Ivan said, smiling.

"But it seems that I'll get another heartbreak this year." I looked at Ivan. "I knew that Marvin Oppa is already engaged."

Ivan gaped and he didn't know what to say. He doesn't know how to explain it.

"W-Who said that to you?" Ivan stuttered.

"That's not important. I'm happy for him. At least he found his wendy." I smiled at him genuinely.

I want to cry but I can't. Why should I cry? Because the person I waited for seven years without physical contact and can only see on the screen is already engaged. It doesn't hurt at all.

"I wish him well. I am genuinely happy for him but it's not easy to accept it because I like him for almost seven years then this news came in like it's a bomb, it crashed my heart into pieces." I said sadly.

"We're sorry if we didn't say that to you earlier. It's that, we don't want you to get hurt and it's a private matter." Ivan sounded apologetic.

"You're right. I shouldn't meddle in his private life." I took a deep breath.

"Maybe I'm just too ambitious that's why I've hurt myself." I smiled sadly. "I prayed him to God and I asked a lot of signs if he belongs with me. Then I saw that sign, it gave me hope then suddenly the engagement thingy came." I chuckled.

"Louise, Louise listen to me," Ivan said seriously so I looked at him. "Marvin Hyung will be happy with her fiancé. He will be a great dad and a cool husband. Someday, you will see him with his own family and with a little version of Marvin and when that day came, you will smile. I'm sure you will smile and you forgot that you've had feelings for him."

"I know that too. It's kinda sad because I'm not the woman I will spend his life with." I smiled but, it hurts.

Ivan spread his arms while looking at me. I was confused at first.

"You're sad. You're hurt. You're in pain. Don't pretend that it doesn't hurt you. It's okay to cry Louise, come here, let me hug you. You can cry on my shoulder." Ivan said.

Even though I couldn't say yes, he embraced me. I don't know what's wrong with me but, instead of crying, I find myself smiling. Ivan is known for being clingy to other people mostly boys and he's not a fan of a romantic movie or anything related to romance. I'm just happy because he's consoling me even though I'm just their fan. I'm the luckiest person alive.

"Don't worry about her. She's so happy to see me." I heard Ivan say while caressing my hair.

"Louise are you okay? Is there something wrong with you?" I heard Laura ask.

"What happened to her Ivan?" I heard Marvin ask too.

"Nothing. Just do your thing guys and let me console her." Ivan replied.

I let go of his embrace and faced the sea again. His hug made my heart fluttered. I don't like skinship or even just a simple hug but, I realized that the simple hug can make feel someone that it's alright not to be okay. When my friends tell me their rants about life, I just listen to them and do not comfort or hug them. I'm not good at comforting other people that's why I end up giving pieces of advice and memorizing every detail they're saying just for them to know that I'm always here.

"Feeling better?" Ivan asked.

I smiled at him. "Yes. Thank you!"

"Hey, your heart will be happy again trust me. For now, love yourself as much as you love the people around you. I know that someday, I will see you with your man and you're really happy while looking at him." Ivan said as he smiled at me. "I hope I'll be that man."

"What? I didn't hear your last words. Can you say it again?" I raised my eyebrows as I asked him a question.

"Huh? Don't mind that. I'm just crazy so I uttered some weird words."

I laughed at his answer. We're laughing at our nonsense topics as we watched the waves.

It's nice to be with someone who can make you laugh and be happy. I pray to God that He will give Ivan the best wife because he's one of the best men indeed.

"You? Is there someone you like?" I asked.

"I have but she likes someone else." Ivan looked at me so I saw a glint of sadness in his eyes.

"Hays! We like them but they don't like us. The world is so unfair but it's okay Oppa because I know that you will find someone who will love you wholeheartedly. Someone who will stare at you like you are her planet in her galaxy." A smile plastered across my lips.

"Before, I couldn't be with a girl because I told myself that I should love myself first, I should take care of myself before I could love a woman." He said. We have in our own world again.

I smiled. "A lot of girls like you. You're their dream guy even Sheena." I pointed to Sheena with my mouth. "She likes you because you're very handsome."

He giggled. "Is she has a suitor right now?"

I shook my head. "None. We're getting old alone."

"No." He said and stared at me. "If you can already love yourself, you can love other people. I guess you guys don't accept your blemishes, you don't love your imperfections, you can't love yourself as a whole that's why you can like them but, you can't love them."

I fell silent when I've heard those words from him. He hits me very hard.

Honestly, I don't like myself that much. I'm too hard on myself. I used to say to other people that they should love themselves first before they can love others but, I'm not applying it.

"You're right. How can someone love me if I can't even love myself? I'll try not too hard on myself and I will say nice words to myself." I smiled.

He smiled at me and patted my head. Our companions called us because Jacob will play his guitar.

I'm just watching him while playing his guitar passionately. Jacob is one of the caring people I've known. He's the mother of the group but, he can't cook. He's been my dream guy before. My cheeks reddened whenever I see him on the stage while performing. He looks good and handsome every time he brushed his hair up.

"Hope you liked it," Jacob said. I went back to myself when I've heard their applause.

"You're great," I said before I patted his shoulder.

"Thank you. I liked to hear that from you." He smiled as well.

"Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?" Marvin blurted out so my eyebrows furrowed.

I was confused at first why Marvin asked that but, they shared with us their relationships with their siblings.

"How about you Louise?" Ivan asked.

I looked at my friends. Only Laura, Coleen, Lovie, and Marie know the truth that my relationship with my older brother was not okay before.

"We have. We always punch each other, cursing each other, teasing each other, and I always wrestle with him. I love my pet which is my older brother. I call him a dog because I just want to." I laughed.

"Ahhhh that's why you punched me and kicked me," Marvin said.

I looked at him while laughing but I just nodded and then I averted my gaze around.

After I graduated, found a job, and was able to build a house, my older brother finally became proud of me. And take note I am also a topnotcher at LET and he bought me a laptop. The greatest achievements in my life is I've made them proud of me.

"Louise!" Axel shouted my name.

"Why?" I asked.

"What's going on with you?" Laura asked.

"Nothing. What's our next activity?" I just asked so they wouldn't ask any questions.

"How many are you in your family? Do you guys have a complete family?" Ivan asked. They ignored my question.

"Five of us have a complete and happy family," Laura replied as she pointed at our friends.

"We are a broken family but still we have contact with our parents. They are always present when we have an occasion like birthdays, weddings, graduation and so on. They are still supporting us, that's why I don't feel incomplete." Coleen said, smiling.

"Good to hear that. At least they are still in your important events in life despite being a broken family." Ivan said.

"My father is in good hands now." I blurted out.

"Her father died when she was 17 years old. He was diagnosed with liver cancer." Coleen said.

"I'm sorry," Ivan said sadly.

"It's okay," I said with a smile while my hair was blowing because of the strong wind.

"I know he's proud of you. He raised a fighter." Jacob smiled.

"Hopefully, he will still remember me when we meet each other again so I could tell him what I achieved in life, what he missed in his children's life." I smiled as I looked up at the sky.

I can't help myself not feeling sad when it comes to my father's death.

"Just don't cry again. He will be mad at us." Ivan said.

"I try not to cry, but it still hurts," I said as my tears would about to flow again.

"I-I know that he's living his life in the other world or another life." I took a deep breath just not to cry again.

They fell silent because of the last thing I'd said. It's been 10 years since he left us but I still miss him. Even if he is no longer in this world, but he's always in our hearts.

Pa, I promised you that as long as mama is alive, I won't get married. I will be with her when she grows old and when you meet her there in heaven or wherever you are right now, I hope you don't leave her again. Travel with her, grow old with her. I hope you still remember her.

"Louise you're spacing out again." Sheena gently nudged me with her elbow.

"I'm sorry." I smiled. "What's our next activity?"

"Daydream suggested by you," Coleen replied. I just nodded.

My mind was flying again for no apparent reason. I was surprised when Jacob suddenly put his hand on my shoulders so I looked at him. Our faces were so close to each other that's why my eyes widened.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked while staring at me.

My eyes blink repeatedly while I can't divert my stare at him.

Why did God create a man like Jacob? Is he even real? He's so damn perfect.