The_God_Asura
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Well until now really great aside from the grammar problems and well referring to sometimes males as she and female as he....................... Concept is great, i always hated lucy, she always remind me of an useless sakura which is there just to increase a scene time,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, As i also said in comment it would be great if you gave natsu tsuna's gloves from ketekyoshi hitman reborn as he can use his fire dragon slayer magic through them and also fly and look cool in that just rather than having a flame in between his eyebrows make his hair turn on fire and also think of giving magic king ability to him as well as trinity seven girls and weapon to him one's he goes to higher planes like DBZ or novel world.
Writing Quality (2 Stars): It's not easy writing in a language you aren't comfortable with, and I can respect that. While I respect your attempt, it doesn't change how difficult it is to follow the story for most english readers. Since you decided to write this story in english, a certain quality is expected and unfortunately it falls shorts in many aspects. Words are skipped, and many sentences are left very vague or unfinished. This can be easily amended once you find a beta or someone who can help to edit, but for now I can't give this a promising score. Stability of Updates (5 Stars): You seem passionate to tell this story, as can be seen by how often you update. Enthusiasm to create is a big factor for every author, especially with the infestation of flames and poor feedback, so good work for not letting others put you down. I can admire that. Story Development (1 Star): A Lot of story elements appear out of left field, and I (personally) have yet to become hooked. The story isn't awful, but it isn't unique either. Bashing and revenge stories have been done many times, but you definitely intrigued me at the start with your take. The problem, however, was that it didn't maintain my intrigue. The hate, vengeance, and bashing of characters is something I don't mind in a story, but it becomes old quickly when it is done for a majority of the story. The story is very fast paced, to the point I'm not sure how you can prolong it so that it remains entertaining. Character Design (2 Star): I love character development above many things, and I just wasn't satisfied. Personalities seemed generic, romances happened too quickly to be convincing on any level, and character interaction and development were lackluster. I saw way to much wasted opportunity for better development, even in the beginning when Natsu bumped into Juvia after the "incident." The closest I felt you were onto something was the development between Zeref and Natsu, hence why I didn't I give it a one. If all your core characters had their kind of interaction, readers may be more emotionally invested into what happens to them. World Background (3 Star): Not much really went into the telling of the world, just the general basics. You have to be an avid fan of Fairy tail to understand where the story takes place, otherwise you would need google to understand what certain places look like, what certain terms mean, and what events took place and why they did. Summary: Despite the way my review looks, I hope you do your best to improve your writing and make this story (or any stories you make in the future) to become better. I unfortunately couldn't continue reading after chapter 18, not so much because of the events that occurred, but I just lost interest.
1 chapter a day author?? Your updates?? i wish you update more faster.. Because i really like this.. Well. Thanks xD πππππ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύππππ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπ Ύπππππππππππππππ Ύπ Ύπππ Ύπππ Ύπππ Ύππ
pdates getting slower.... Pls more updates im craving for more........ I always put stones so you can update fast but it seems its getting slower instead. Hahaπππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ...πππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ πππππππππππππππ
pdates getting slower.... Pls more updates im craving for more........ I always put stones so you can update fast but it seems its getting slower instead. Hahaπππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ...πππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ πππππππππππππππ
Updates getting slower.... Pls more updates im craving for more........ I always put stones so you can update fast but it seems its getting slower instead. Hahaπππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ...πππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππ πππππππππππππππ