Life Is Like A River

Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, and poor behavioral controls. Christine and I are both psychopaths.

I should've seen it coming. That is the only plausible reason why I can easily get comfortable with her. Like the word goes, birds of a feather flock together. Only psychopath can understand another psychopath.

As a psychopath, I have done my fair share of crazy things. However, I can't just accept what Christine has done. My reason on why I can't accept what Christine has done is not because of the unnecessary deaths I have caused though.

I am not a righteous person, not in the very least.

I can't accept it, because of how unnecessary it was. She could have done a simple thing. Telling me the truth. But, no! She decided to go mad scientist way! That was so fucking dumb, it enraged me!

What's worse, I have been lied to. I have been lied to by the person I trust the most. I have never once doubted her, because she has always stayed true to me. But, it was all in my head.

Oh, I should've seen it coming. Christine is a psychopath too. We are manipulative. She played her game so good, I couldn't see through her. Damn, it hurts. It just hurts. I don't like this. I have never felt this way in my past life.

"Chris... you are crying."

I don't even realize that I have stopped shaking her back and forth. I feel a hand touching my face, but I slap it away.

"Don't touch me."

I don't know how do I look at her currently, but Christine is definitely shocked.

"Chris, I—"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"That is... I—"

"Christine! Why did you lie to me?" I didn't shout that out, but it was enough to stun her to silence. "I just wanted you to have a normal life." Christine smiles bitterly.

"Did I look abnormal to you?"

"No! You just... You looked like you were suffering."

"No, Christine. I have never suffered." I shake my head. "I have always enjoyed my time with you and the world has to offer." I look her deep in the eyes. "You were the one who was suffering."

"You are a psychopath too. So, you should be able to understand me, right? You know how different we were compared to everyone else. You know how sickening it is living around those slightly intelligent monkeys!"

I look at Christine bitterly. Psychopath? No, she is not a psychopath. She is just chaotic. I don't even know what to call her.

"My question stands still. Why did you lie to me?"

"I just wanted to shelter you from that unhealthy life."

"You are contradicting your own words. You have said how insufferable it was living with people. Why didn't you let me live as an agent and kill people instead?"

She looks at me defiantly. "Because... because, I just wanted to keep you for myself." She slumps her shoulders in the end. "I just want you to live happily without any care about the troubles our parents had left behind."

"You know me well enough. So, you should know what I hate the most." Christine nods her head slowly. "You hate being lied to the most."

I run my hand to my hair. "We could have simply talk, and accept our feelings. But, you decided to do an idiotic thing instead. I am disappointed in you Christine. I am mad at you!" Thank goodness, I didn't shout that out.

"I am sorry, Chris. I will—"

I put up my hand. "Hold your horses! Let's move on from the past. I am no longer Chris. I am Hikigaya Hachiman." I shake my head faintly. "Now, can you please repeat what you wanted to say, Yukino-san?"

"Chris... I—"

"Yukino-san. I am Hikigaya Hachiman."

Yukino bites her lower lip, and tears start forming in the corner of her eyes.

"Hachiman-kun, I am sorry."

I don't care anymore about any of that, at this point. It was all in the past, and nothing could be done. At least, there are two good things happened because of it.

First, I get to know I have been lied to for the entire of my past life. Second, I came to this world, and I meet Shizuka.

I am a realist. I am living in the present. So, I have moved on from the past. Now, let's talk about more important thing.

"How did you get here?"

Christine takes her time to wipe her tears, before answering. Luckily, she didn't use mascara. So, her face is not ruined.

"I got here... by car... with Haruno," she answered, while sobbing in each pause.

I know she is genuinely crying, but I don't care. Both of us are hurt, and I have learned my lesson. I have to be selfish to her.

"Don't test my patience. I can whoop your ass into oblivion right here right now. Joke about it, and I will send you to Jesus."

Christine opens her mouth, before closing her mouth again.

This bitch, she really intended to joke at a serious time like this!

"So, you are asking me about how I got in this world?"

"Un."

"Pretty much like you, I guess..."

"What is it?"

"I died, and when I woke, I became Yukinoshita Yukino."

I look at her calculatingly. I have never been bothered by it. But now, my reincarnation bugs me. This is rather too much to say it is a coincidence. Even coincidence will never be this crazy.

"Don't tell me this is your mad scientist's another plot. Am I in a pod or something? Did you do something to my brain? Are you the one who created this alternate universe? Or is this just DMT?"

"Eh? W-what?"

Yukino is genuinely flustered. This reaction however, makes my heart twist. If what I think is true, I have been lied to for the second time.

I don't want it to be true. I don't want what I have experienced turns out to be a lie. I don't want to lose Shizuka!

Yukino regains her composure, and looks at me straight in the eye. "No. That is not possible. Human brain is too complicated. Our technology isn't ready yet to achieve that feat." Yukino shakes her head.

"How do I know you are not lying?"

Yukino smiles bitterly, before shaking her head. "Chris, I have never lied. I have merely kept two things from you. Our parents' past, and my feelings to you."

"I guess, you should look at the definition of lying. You are confused."

Well, it turns out my fear is unfounded. I'm glad I'm not being lied to in this life.

A tons of load has been finally lifted from my chest, and I am currently spent. I feel so tired mentally, it starts to affect my body.

Ah, fuck it! I'm done with this bullshit! I'ma go to Shizuka. I need to recharge my Shizuka Energy!

"Yukino-san."

"Yes?"

"I don't like what I have heard in one bit. Although I will never forget it, I will never dwell in it. So, let's move on from the past, and just live our current life."

I extend my hand to her. "In this life, we are Hikigaya Hachiman and Yukinoshita Yukino. We were a stranger to each other, and we just got to know each other's name today. So, l will ask you to stay away from my life for the time being."

"What do you want me to do with your extended hand?" Yukino's voice quivered in the end.

"Grab it, and let's become a stranger to each other once again."

She looks at me with teary eyes, but I don't care. She needs to be punished for her act. I can't just spank her to oblivion. I am afraid she will enjoy it instead.

So, this is the best punishment for this stupid former sister of mine.

Finally, she grabs my hand, albeit reluctantly. "I... I am Yukinoshita Yukino. What is your name?" She looks at me with teary but hopeful eyes.

"Nah. We are a stranger now. Let's keep it that way."

"Wait, Chris! Let me justify my act first! Chris!"

I turn my body around. I am going back to the ballroom. I can hear Yukino is desperately calling me, but I feel no remorse. I feel nothing about her.

I am a psychopath. But, I didn't know making another psychopath cry feels this good.

...

Shizuka and I have excused ourselves earlier. Shizuka seemed to notice my mood, and she decided to call it a day. So, we are now in our way back to my apartment.

Of course, I am the one driving.

With the power of money and with the aid of human greed, I already have my license. So, I am driving Shizuka's Aston Martin legally.

"Was the call that bad, it could ruin your mood?"

I look to the side, at Shizuka. Shaking my head, I say, "No. I have just realized something, and I don't like it."

"What is it?"

"My best friend lied to me for my entire life. It just upsets me."

"Oh, you have a best friend?"

That's a good one. I'm happy you can still poke fun at people's unhappy moment. That is my girl!

Alas, she misunderstands my silence.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean it! I was just trying to lighten up the mood. I don't like seeing you being gloomy..."

I listen to her reason, and it slowly cracks me up. I didn't make a wrong choice. Falling in love with her is a right decision.

I chuckle, and she stops talking. Offering my left hand, I ask, "Will you let me hold your hand?"

"H-huh? O-of course!" She gives me her hand, and I grasp it tightly but comfortably.

"Shizuka... Will you lie to me if you have some truth that you think it is better to be kept for yourself?" I glance at her from the corner of my eyes.

Shizuka frowns briefly, before shaking her head.

"No. Lying is lying. No matter how bitter the truth is, telling a sweet lie is not good in the long run. Furthermore, while privacy is still maintained in a relationship, keeping things from your partner is not right."

Since there is a red light, I can stop the car, and turn my head to Shizuka. She is giving me a serious look.

"Therefore, I will be honest. I have stayed together with a man for a few weeks a few years ago. He ran away with my money, and some of my furnitures. We did nothing but staying together. I am still a virgin."

I have already know this tidbit of information. But, why is she telling me this? Ah, I think she misunderstands yet another thing. Well, it's a welcomed misunderstanding though.

"Thank you for being honest with me. But honestly, I don't care about that. I just wanted to know how much you value my trust."

"I don't like being lied to, so I don't want to lie to the person that believes in me." She shrugs.

Despite how many times we have crossed opinion, we still have some things in common. I rub Shizuka's hand with my thumb, and drive the car once again.

"I want to be corny right now, so bear with me." I have to warn her in advance. "Despite how many times I have said I loved you, I don't think it conveys my feeling enough. Therefore, I'll say it over and over again."

I turn my head to her, and do a Brian O'Conner, while saying, "I love you, Shizuka."

As expected of me, I can do it perfectly. Meanings, I don't crash the car into a fucking truck this time!

"I-I-I love you too." Shizuka became a blushing mess.

Mission accomplished!

Yes, this is life.

Life is like a river. There will be eventually shit passing through. However, river also flows. So, life is never stagnant.

It's time to move on, and leave the past behind.