Chapter 69

CALEN'S POV

That day we packed. My mom went over to help Jerald out, and afterwards my father took over the task of helping us take our things out to the car. Both mine and theirs, then we all drove to the cabin, them following behind us, probably because they had already forgotten where the cabin itself was considering they had only ever been there once. 

I was glad J.R and I got some time alone, I could see that he was deep into his thoughts but trying to not show it. 

" What's on your mind?" I asked, my attention on the road but my mind on him. There was no way I could be happy when he was hurting.  

He didn't answer right away, instead he turned his gaze towards the window. Looking at the view, and it made me reminisce on the last time we had driven on that same road heading towards that same direction. That joy and enthusiasm in his eyes. I needed to see it now, I craved it. But I understood the weight of all he must have been going through. His father showing up like that must have made him start to rethink everything. 

" He'll never change, " J.R finally said. The hopelessness in his voice a thing of truth. 

" He will never learn how to accept the truth Calen, which means that because of his denial I'll be denied the chance to ever see my family again, "

His family.

I couldn't even begin to imagine how deeply hurt that must have made him. He had often spoken of his little siblings, of his mother and of Aliyah. And even though he seldom interacted with the other members of his family, I knew he still cared for them. Like the other two mothers he had and his other half siblings that he had always tried to get a bit closer to despite them being raised separately in the same house. 

" Hope, that's all we can do at this point, " I told him, wishing I had something else to say but sad that I didn't. He sighed, rolled down the window and put his arm through the space. His eyes closed. 

" Hope..." he repeated. " I'll do that, but I think deep down it will always hurt. "

I hated hearing him say such things, but he was only being honest so I decided to be honest in turn as well.

" It will hurt J.R. But hurts because it matters, "

He reached over and ran the back of his hand over the side of my face. Smiling.

Then he let out a sharp exhale and nodded. 

And later, when we had almost arrived, he told me to quit being hardheaded and tell my parents that I had missed them. That I loved them despite them hardly ever being around. I wasn't planning on doing so, I wanted them to sense the ice. To know that I was hurt.

I knew that they didn't want to feel guilty about always being a thousand miles away, they just wanted to know I was okay. They wanted me to help them clear their conscious. To feel less horrible for abandoning me!

And I had been planning on doing the exact opposite of that, but because my J.R suggested it, and because I would have done anything he asked of me, I decided to let the stubbornness be. To enjoy the little time I had with them because I had no clue when it would come again.

When we got to the cabin they helped us to clean up. My mother suggested we only take one suitcase each out of the car, the knew that held the items we would mostly need.

" You'll be leaving again soon, no point in unpacking just to pack again, " 

It was something J.R had already thought of and suggested but I pretended we hadn't even thought of it. And I took that as a chance to approach the most important woman in my life and actually let her know that still valued her.It was easier with her than with my father, him and I had never had that strong bond, it had once been there but as I always say.... distance.

But after they helped us clean and keep everything in place he came over to me and he tapped my shoulder and said, 

" I know I haven't been there, and that likely makes me a failure at being a dad. But everything I've done has been for you. "

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the floor because somehow his presence had always comforted and intimidated me in equal measure. 

He patted my back and walked away. Realizing I had nothing to say. We'd fix whatever was broken but that would take time. And I was going away soon, we would once again separate and head towards different directions. So the fixing would have to wait.

But I was glad when they both agreed to stay until we left. The cabin had two spare rooms but for reasons I didn't want to focus on, my parents chose to go and stay in a hotel. According to my mom, they didn't want J.R to feel too uncomfortable with them around. But as I said, I didn't want to focus on the actual reasons. I thanked them for everything, my father especially. Had it not been for him then the incident earlier wouldn't have gone smoothly at all. They hugged us both and after delaying their leave for twenty minutes, they finally left. 

I turned to the green eyes that lived in my dreams, planning on asking what we would do from then onwards. But the corner of his pink lips tilted up in a sweet smile. 

" Let's make some tea and watch something, " he suggested. And in those words I saw fragments of the happy version of him. The version I treasured. Chuckling, I led him back to the cabin.

" Let's, "I agreed with my hand in his. 

🏵️🌼🏵️🌼🏵️

For the couple of days that followed we were always occupied. When we weren't doing things we loved we were making preparations for the travel. But thanks to my father almost everything had already been taken care of. I was glad I had called him when I did. 

So we spent our time reading and walking around and watching those romances that J.R had since become obsessed with. In those few days we added even more memories to our pile. And we even managed to invite my parents for lunch since J.R had been in the mood to cook. Probably because Aliyah had video called him and along with her had been his mom and two of his siblings who had vowed not to speak a word about it to their father. They had talked for ages, telling him how sorry they were for not being there during his graduation but they were extremely proud of him. His mom asked if I was around and wanted to see me. She was the kindest. And she had been serious when she asked me to always be there for her son. To protect him because he was still not well familiar with the actual world, J.R had flushed but he never said a thing. And I vowed to care for him with my life because he too was always there for me. It had been his brother's birthday and so J.R had played a short but happy tune for the young child. And even after the call ended that smile stayed in place. The laughter still flowed and I finally saw the hope as it took root inside him. 

The next day my parents had called and asked us to meet them t the airport. We left everything how it was supposed to be. Knowing that that had officially become our first home. And that whenever we left Argentina that was where we would go to. J. R had already made plans to start an actual garden once he got time. But we knew he'd be busy from then henceforth. But I was glad when he said he would start his music classes once we were settled in. 

We got to the airport where my parents had been waiting. And or the first time I saw actual tears in both their eyes. I also saw the deep regret, they wished they could have been there more. Done more while there was still time. To them, there would be no other chance to make up for the duration that had been lost. So in an attempt to make them feel better I promised to call more often and to tell them how things were going. And in return they promised to visit. And not only when they got time, this round they assured me that they would make the time. 

It seemed surreal. But that day J.R and I boarded that plane together and we sat aide by side. And he locked out fingers together and brought them both to his lips. 

" I choose to hope Calen Silverstein. I believe we have a thousand sunrises and sunsets waiting, that we have countless lovely dreams and a thousand beautiful things in our future. "

I loved him....I truly did. And as the plane took off, I finally felt complete. Jerald Amir was and would always be the great love of my life.