Chapter 58

Aliyah had to come over the next day to bring me her laptop. The contract had to be signed online seeing as we couldn't do it physically. I did so, and when I pressed the final key I realized there was no turning back. It was already done. 

She was there throughout the entire time, her presence clear. Her subtle jasmine scent measured in its controlled concentration. After I was done she pressed her hand on my shoulder, and when I looked at her it was to find a fond smile on her face. She was doing all that for Calen and I for she believed we had a chance. And I recalled what Sarin had told me about her been engaged, it hadn't come as a huge surprise. Aliyah was lovely. She had one of those faces that artists used to claim were too beautiful to look at. And I'm certain that my father had seen that as an opportunity to strengthen his alliance with another kingdom. 

That must have been why he insisted she learn how to act like a proper lady. And that must also have been why he had sent her to London for her education. So that whoever was set to wed her would know that she had had a good upbringing, that she was intelligent as well as beautiful. It was all a game of chess. And we were the pieces he was playing with.

" I like Sarin, " I told her and she chuckled. Bowing her head in an attempt to hide her flush. And all I had done was mention his name. 

" Me too, " she confessed. Then she sighed, her smile still in place. She turned towards the entrance as if he were standing right there. 

" I know it's hard to tell but he's sweet. He was the one I told you about, the one who taught me how to swim. "

I arched my brow. I hadn't known that, but at least now I understood why he referred to her the way he did. 

Why he called her his princess of the sea. And she had started learning when she had been thirteen, which meant that they had known each other for quite a while. 

Their separation was going to hurt more than either could imagine. By that time they would have six years worth of feelings to try and push aside. And I wondered whether either of them understood the misery they were setting themselves for. Calen and I had only known each other for a few months, yet I had never known such pain. I hurt in places inside me that I had never even known were there...and each second he wasn't there, I felt that hurt as it morphed into something bigger. Something unbearable.

But then I couldn't comment on their decision. That was yet another thing about love. It held you captive, tied you up in chains and caged you until you realized that fleeing wasn't an option. So you opted to stay still, because each time you tried to run those heavy metal chains would tighten around you and they'd make you hurt. 

Love was a prisoner in the form of emotions, but it was also a saviour in a lot of ways. 

" He loves you...." I told her, a subtle smile playing at the corner of my lips, having recalled what she had once told me. 

" And it's not the baseless teenage love either. He loves you in such an intense yet pure way. "

She adjusted the scarf on her head and turned around. Facing away from me. Not wanting us to talk about her love life because the subject was sensitive. Because she wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. 

I could relate with her on those grounds. 

She told me that she had to go and start taking care of things for my departure. And after I thanked her then she left. But I could sense that deep down she was secretly burning. 

I had asked her to bring me some of her books next time she came to visit and she said she would. Sarin didn't seem to be much of the reading type, I hadn't spotted any books since I arrived there. And Aliyah was only one grade lower than me so her books would definitely help.

If I was to return to Seville then I had a lot of catching up to do. I had to study twice as hard since I didn't have the guidance of a teacher or tutor. Aliyah had left me her laptop and asked me to use it until she could sneak out the books carefully. I was grateful.

And that night I went over a couple of topics before I considered reaching out to Calen. I thought perhaps I could message him and break the news to him beforehand. Tell him that I was returning and that we still had a chance to part on better terms, perhaps even share the news on my scholarship with him. He had sent over the envelope but I doubt he had unsealed it. 

And even if he had then he must have assumed that it would be impossible for me to take it. There were a million words. So much to be said, but in the end I couldn't do it. 

I didn't want to tell him that we'd get to see each other again only for something bad to get in the way, to ruin those plans and to leave him with nothing but failed expectations. That wouldn't be fair. And so I wouldn't tell him anything until I knew for certain that Aliyah's plan was going to indeed work.

After I had studied for close to two hours I decided to take a break. I could always grasp things quickly. Even as a child I had known that my father expected nothing but the best from me. And so I had always stayed up late even at the age of ten, reading books that were way beyond my time. Forcing myself to understand and remember because I knew it was either that or face my father's wrath. 

And with time I had turned into an expert when it came to studies. I didn't need to frequently go over my notes. The older I became the faster I could understand, the better I could remember. 

Walking back to the bedroom Siran and I shared, I sat on my bed and took my violin from its case. He had gone to town to deliver some things to the retail stores he supplied to. And I once again found myself wondering.

I wondered why he lived alone. He was eighteen, but from what I had gathered, he had been living by himself since he was about fifteen. I wondered why he always looked as if he was in a completely different dimension. Why he was so withdrawn and why he avoided any interactions with other people unless he didn't have a choice.

Siran Vehna was a mystery, but one I didn't have time to solve. Standing, I walked to the middle of the room and I held my violin in place. Then I played to the silent space. To the walls and to the emptiness within me. 

Two weeks.

If all went well then we'd get to see each other again in two weeks. I hoped that Aliyah hadn't already told him about our plan. From what I knew, they talked every once in a while. Mostly he just always asked about me, whether I was fine. If there was need for him to worry. She had told me that the last time he had begged her not to lie, and she had simply told him that I was okay. 

I moved the bow, closing my eyes and trying to concentrate on the musical notes imprinted in my head. 

My violin had for a long time been my best friend. My father had gotten me a music tutor when I was eight. Said I needed to have an understanding of all the arts. He had also wanted me to learn how to paint but I had never been able to fully succeed in that. My brush strokes had never been perfect enough for him, each time he insisted I show him a piece of my work he had always frowned and shook his head. Telling me to improve. And I decided to focus more on things that I excelled in. Things that gave me joy. 

Like my violin. 

Calen wasn't there but in truth I was playing for him, he knew how much that instrument meant to me and he had ensured I got it back.

I knew it would only be for a while but at least we'd meet again. And the next time we parted it would be on our own terms. 

That night came to an end.....and each day I followed the same routine. I'd wake up, study, ensure I prayed and ate, helped Siran out in the fields, and then I'd study more before I did anything else. By the end of the first week Aliyah told me that she had already booked my flight, and that our father was starting to lose hope of ever finding me. 

That he was planning on disowning me and cutting all ties that linked us together. 

To some it would sound like bad news, but I actually felt as if I could breathe again on hearing those words.