Chapter 51

I understood Dafiq's momentary silence once he got to where I stood. I supposed there was no easy way to tell a seventeen year old gay prince that you wanted him to sleep with a girl so that his mind could realize he was not in fact gay.

Because that's what the entire thing with Simra was about.

" You can trust her, she vowed to not speak a word about this to anyone. "

I looked at him with shock, confusion and anger all molded into one. They were the pure definitions of hypocrites! He never actually told me what his intentions were, but he implied them and left me to figure out the rest on my own. 

I wish I could erase that night from my mind, because each time I thought about it my insides churned and all I felt like doing was climbing a freezing mountain top and screaming till my throat bled. 

I was slowly starting to lose my temper and I struggled to control it, to not do anything drastic. Simra was like a statue in the room, she never moved an inch, just stood there with her head bowed and her hand on the scarf on her head, holding it in place and shielding her face from my view. 

" She's here for you Jerald, and if all goes well there are chances we won't have to continue with this any longer, you'd have completed the cleanse, " Dafiq went on. 

It was odd, despite everything he had made me go through I still had a shred of respect for the man. But that night I felt it all get grounded to smithereens. Simra was the same age as Aliyah. Sixteen. 

She was sixteen years old!

I was no saint, I tried as much as I could to be an earnest individual but I also knew that I wronged every so often. But Dafiq was evil, it didn't matter that he didn't have any children of his own. I turned to Simra, and I imagined what I would have done had someone taken my daughter, or maybe my sister and asked her to do such a thing. 

" The irony refuses to remain unrecognized, " I finally said. My eyes still on Simra despite the words being directed towards Dafiq. I couldn't bear to look at him because my anger rose to new heights.

" You call me unfit yet your actions are anything but the opposite, "

" This is for your conceptual awakening, "

Shaking my head I scoffed and looked at him, swiping the tip of my tongue over my dry lips and holding on to my sanity because that man was almost diminishing it with every word he chose to utter. 

" No, " I refused, " This is madness, it's wrong one every ethical ground, "

Simra chose that moment to look up at me, and I noticed the hurt expression on her face. And I suspected that she wanted to carry through with this. I was actually sure that she did, and afterwards I'd never be rid of her. But that wasn't the problem, the problem was that I DIDN'T want her. I never had and never would.

Losing my patience I politely pointed to the door. 

" You may leave, and please don't forget to take her along with you. "

I couldn't help wondering how much he had told her, whether or not she knew the reason behind me being there. But I couldn't care less. I didn't have the stamina to tolerate their twisted deeds any longer. 

There was never going to be an end to it all, so it was either I fight back, or I let them have their way. 

" I understand that you might be-"

" You understand nothing!" I grit the words out past clenched teeth. Pointing an accusing finger at him. 

" You know nothing about me, you have no clue about who I am other than what you hear out there or what my father tells you, everything else you make up on your own, "

I stepped away from him and locked both my hands together on my nape, feeling tired of it all. Then I looked up at the empty space and felt my blood burn. 

" I've never intentionally hurt anyone, I've never stolen and I've never killed. You're trying to break me because I chose to love! I had no control over that yet you treat me like an outcast, as if I carry a contagious disease!"

His only answer was silence and it angered me all the more, I wanted to talk and hear the kind of absurdities he'd come up with. Simra was looking at me all shocked. She'd never seen me be anything but gentle and kind. I strode over to where she was and reached for her hand, holding it in mine and staring at her with pleading eyes. 

" You bear no fault in this, had things been different perhaps I would have liked you back...but this part of me already has a keeper," I told her. Placing my other hand on my heart and hoping she'd understand. She parted her lips and seemed a little perplexed. Then she looked up at me and asked me who it was that I loved. 

When she did, I knew that Dafiq hadn't disclosed that part to her, and I also had a chance to ensure she never got to find out. But I decided that my love wasn't a secret and so I wouldn't be afraid to tell. She could do whatever she pleased with the information. She was a teenage girl with plenty of other teenage girls for friends. I was certain that if I told her then the secret would be officially out. 

" Jerald, " Dafiq called me. And in his tone was a warning to not utter a single word because my father would in turn be angry with him. 

" He's a writer with a grip on words,a swimmer who can control the tides...." I said and she looked completely confused. And she must have began to judge my familiarity with pronouns, so I decided to clear matters for her. 

" I'm in love with another Simra, and it is not a girl. "

She swallowed nervously and turned from me to Dafiq, then to me again before she pulled her hand away from my hold and stepped back as if the contact had burnt her. I saw a look quite similar to my father's on her face but I didn't care. And so I opened up the door and asked both of them to leave. Simra didn't waste an instant, she hurriedly stepped out, but Dafiq stopped once he got to the door and sighed, then he told me something that made me feel like pushing him out. 

" He ought to have just let you die, your sin consumes you completely, "

I stood and waited for him to walk out, then I slammed the door shut and leaned against it.

And as I slowly let myself sink to the floor, I took in deep breaths in and out, reaching to dig my hands into my strands before I remembered that they were no longer there. The minutes ticked by until I slowly glanced back at the door and realized that Dafiq hadn't locked it after he left. Standing, I opened it slightly to confirm the theory and my eyes widened when it opened up. 

I looked out at the hallway that I hadn't seen since I stepped into that room and I found it empty. 

An opportunity had just presented itself, a chance to find Aliyah and ask for her help. I literally didn't think twice, not after what had just occurred. I went back into my room and quickly put on my shoes, then I took Calen's blazer and walked out. Not willing to leave any piece of him in that place. Aliyah's room was on the floor above mine on the farthest end. I had never been in there before since I never had a reason to. But that particular day I was in desperate need of her. I went for the stairs and took them two at a time. Then halfway there I stopped, and I was looking into my mother's green eyes. She called me by my name in the same loving way I had always loved. My four year old brother held securely in her arms. Sleeping. She was standing a few steps above me and I didn't know what to do. Whether to ask her not to worry and proceed to find Aliyah or to stay and talk to her, to make her better understand what was going on. Because I preferred it if she heard the news from my own lips first.

" Ma, " whispered...I always called her that whenever I needed her motherly affection. She came down until she got to the step above mine before she wrapped her free hand around me. And I hugged both her and little Shan back. I don't even know where the tears came from, but when she held me I let them fall. She pulled back to look at me, her finger going up to my split lip, then she cast her eyes to my hair and she shook her head and tried not to let her pain show. 

" What has he been doing to you?" she asked in our native tongue. Distant tears in her own eyes that were a replica of mine.