Chapter 52

Without needing an explanation my mother had understood my need to see Aliyah,but she had insisted on going along with me. And so together we headed to my half-sister's room and I had knocked. 

She had of course been in there, seeing how late it was. Actually it had been a little past six but there were rules that prevented us all from being out past a certain time. We weren't allowed to roam around. She opened up the door a short while after, her eyes widening and her mouth falling open once she saw us.

" I need your help," I said and she immediately moved aside to let us both in. Understanding on her ethereal features. Her long dark hair was wet and she took off the scarf she had used to cover up in haste and threw it into the laundry basket. 

But she didn't speak, she used her eyes to gesture to my mother and then silently asked me if she knew...Not using words because she was certain I'd understand. I shook my head. 

" Will someone please just tell me what's happening?" my mother pleaded. Then we both stood still and watched as she walked over to Aliyah's bed and gently placed Shan on top, careful not to wake him, then she walked back to us and waited. A look of genuine concern on her face as she stared at each of us in turn, almost pleadingly. She clearly hated not having any control over the situation. 

" There's something I need to tell you, " I forced myself to say. Then she asked me what it was and I turned to Aliyah who simply nodded. Reaching to press my shoulder before she let go.

" Just tell me, whatever it is Jerald, I just need to know, to understand what's going on because I know you aren't sick, "

Sighing, I pointed to an elegant chaise lounge on the other end of the pristine room and asked my mother to go take a sit. She seemed a bit confused,but she was mostly just curious. My heart pounded as I led her to the seat and we both settled down on it. Then she reached for my hands and held them in hers, her love for me shining through her eyes and enabling me to calm down. I had to tell her, because sooner or later she was going to find out and there were chances I wouldn't he around anymore to explain things to her. I wondered how to start and she brought both my hands to her lips and kissed them,then she encouraged me to tell her. I nervously swallowed. Looking on to Aliyah because she had somehow become my safe space in that place. My source of courage. 

I found an angle to approach the situation and decided to go ahead and use it. My eyes fell to our linked hands and then I looked up at her.

" Do you recall that time you visited me in school?" I asked and she slowly nodded, a little confused as she looked from me to Aliyah. My sister busied herself with covering up Shan to protect him from the cold. The simple action prolonged, acting as a distraction.

" There was a boy you met, remember?" 

She seemed to be in thought, then she narrowed her gaze at me.

" The one with the brown hair? He was the students representative...isn't that so?" I nodded, then I went silent and sought out the words that were hiding away from me. My hands would have been shaking had my mother not been holding onto them so tightly. Aliyah finally stopped using Shan as a distraction and stood, facing us with her arms crossed on her chest, the right hand on her left shoulder and vice versa. There was a slight fear for me as well.

" What about him? Did he do something?" 

I shook my head and assured her that he had done nothing. He couldn't possibly have. 

" His name is Calen, " I reminded her and she sat up straight, waiting. Realizing that I was finding it hard to talk. 

" Jerald?" she called me and I squeezed my eyes shut and bowed my head, fully aware that what I chose to say next would determine her reaction. That there were chances she'd react the same way my father and Simra and Dafiq had reacted because not everyone was as open minded as Aliyah was. 

" I love him ma, " I confessed. Pain and fear in my voice, " I'm in love with him, " I repeated. I heard nothing from my mother so I cautiously looked at her, and she was indeed shocked. But there was none of the hatred I feared I'd see. 

" Calen Silverstein, wasn't it?" She suddenly asked and I nodded, frowning and wondering how she could remember such a detail. I looked at where our hands were still joined, then I watched her as she scooted closer to me.

" Brown eyes, charming smile?" She asked and I blinked repeatedly. 

" Ma?"

" Was hardly able to take his eyes off you?...Yes my boy, I remember him clearly. "

She called onto our God before she wrapped both her arms around me and kissed the top of my head. Then she apologized to me for reasons I was unaware of. 

It was my turn to be in shock.

" I always had my suspicions, " she calmly whispered without letting me go.

" Jerald, I'm your mother am I not? "

I nodded because words were a thing long lost to me at the moment.

" You know you can tell me anything, what were you afraid of? Did you think I'd turn my back on my very own child?" 

She let go of me and cradled my face in her hands lovingly, the type of joy that washed through me was hard to explain. Knowing that she didn't hate me meant more to me than she'd ever find out, and it was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. In that moment I didn't care what everyone else would think, other than Calen, my mother held the most sacred place in my heart and her opinion mattered above everyone elses. 

" Are you truly at peace with that?" I asked, needing to be sure. She chuckled sadly, tears flowing down her cheeks as she once more ran the tip of her finger across my lip.

" Silly boy, " she said, something she always did whenever she was about to shower me with her love, " I'd love you no matter what. "

I hugged her again. Looking past her towards Aliyah who couldn't hide her smile. 

Then my mother let go and looked me in the eye, a serious expression suddenly on her features.

" Is that why he withdrew you two from school?" She asked and I nodded. 

" What has he been doing, tell me the truth Jerald. "

I didn't want to tell her about the cleanse, but she had just accepted me for who I was and I figured that she deserved the truth,no matter how hard it was to tell. 

I told them both about the cleanse, my father's idea of healing. They both listened on with these looks of both pity and anger. Aliyah walked over to us and walked around the chaise lounge to stand behind me, then she wrapped her arms around me from behind and told me how sorry she was. 

But I didn't want their pity, having them feel sorry for me only made matters worse. 

" I can't stay here anymore, I need to go, " I finally said. My hands on Aliyah's arms because she wouldn't let me go, and so I resolved to taking comfort from her hold. 

" Don't worry, I'll get you out of here if it's the last thing I do, " my mother said. Determination in her voice. Then she said that after she ensured I was long gone, she was going to give our father a piece of her mind, but I urged her not to do anything of the sort. 

" Think of my siblings, where would you go if he kicked you out?" I asked, my eyes on Shan. It wouldn't be past my father to do such a thing. Knowing him, he'd most likely ask my mother to pack and leave, and he wouldn't let her take my siblings along. And my mother only drew breath because of her children. They were the most sacred thing to her. 

" Goodness, " she said while shaking her head. Then she wiped her tears and stood. 

" He went out of town but it's only a matter of time before he returns, you must leave now, " she seriously stated. Aliyah finally let go of me and I watched as she hurriedly went to get her phone. Then she called a friend of hers named Siran and we listened as she asked him to wait for her at their usual spot. 

" Come with your truck, " she instructed before she ended the call. Then she asked me to follow her out. My mother wanted to come along but Aliyah didn't think that was wise, she said it would he faster if it were us two alone. And because my mother loved me and wanted me as far away from that place as possible, she consented to that. She hugged me for the longest while, then she asked us to wait while she got me some supplies, but then Aliyah told her not to worry about any of that, that she'd find a way to get the things to me later on. And after I kissed my mother on the cheek, I followed Aliyah out cautiously. Feeling more optimistic than I had ever been.