Chapter 49

Oliver was basically the closest friend I had in that school apart from Rajeev. My assistant as well. And I had always valued his opinion and listened to whatever he had to say. 

But this is definitely something were going to discuss later on. 

I was currently in the school councillor's office. She had called me that morning and asked if we could talk, at first I had been confused. I wondered exactly what she could want to discuss with me. And then she had asked me to sit down and brought up yesterday's incident in the pool.

It couldn't have been Mr. Harrison, which meant that it was definitely Oliver who was responsible for my current situation.

I ought to have been on my way to send Jerald's letter by then, but instead there I was. Seated on a plush leather couch as I engaged in a staring contest with the blonde haired blue eyed school counselor. 

Mrs. Tina. 

She had her legs crossed and a patient look on her face. And I was very much familiar with how things worked as far as counselling went, I had been on that same couch about nine years ago when I was first admitted to the school. Back when I was finding it hard to adjust to life in a boarding school and to the absence of my parents.

I lifted my arm with the intention of placing it on the armrest but then a sharp pain jolted through it. My entire body ached from all those rounds I did yesterday. Each time I attempted to take a step I felt the burn.

" Is it possible for us to reschedule this meeting for another time?" I asked. I didn't need the session, but if I told her that then she would only believe that I needed it all the more. 

" I'm afraid not. " 

I sighed defeatedly, realizing that I wouldn't be able to deliver the letter that day. And that upset me because it increased the amount of time it would take to reach JR. 

Leaning a little bit towards me on the edge of her seat, she smiled.

" People are concerned about you Calen, " she softly said and I finally broke our eye contact and looked aside. 

" And by people I'm assuming you mean Oliver. I assure you that he interpreted things the wrong way, "

" So you weren't trying to drown yourself in the pool?"

" Of course not. "

I wasn't. And the fact that everyone seemed to think I was angered me. 

" It's not only him though, the principal as well as some of your teachers asked me to have a word with you. They say you seem distracted lately. "

The love of my life had been snatched from me.

I wasn't distracted, I was hurting. But there was no point in telling her that.

" It must be because of the upcoming exams, I'm just nervous about graduating. "

I hated lying. If there was one thing I believed in it was honesty, but I didn't want to talk about anything. I just wanted to leave that office and get into my car and drive to the nearest town so that I could finally send Jerald's letter to him.

" So you're not like this because of a certain Jerald Amir?" she asked,and I turned to watch her as she arched a brow. 

There was a subtle suggestive smile on her expression as well, but that was a subject I wasn't willing to share with anyone. 

" He seemed nice. Smart, "

" He was. "

I left it at that, then I glanced at the wall clock behind her and wondered how much longer the session would take. 

" Is there somewhere else you need to be?"

I grew silent for a while, then I nodded. And when she asked me whether it was within the school I told her no. 

" How were you planning on getting there?" She asked and I told her I was planning to drive. Then she gave me news that ruined my day for the second time since I woke up.

" I'm afraid I cannot allow that. There are chances you are a danger to yourself and until we get to complete our two week sessions then you're not allowed to drive. "

A danger to myself? They were exaggerating the entire situation. Two weeks was a very long time. Those were fourteen whole days of time wasted. I suddenly grew angry.

I grew angry at the councillor, at Oliver, at those teachers and the principal.

I grew angry at life itself. 

" You can't do that, " I sounded slightly pissed and she took hint of that, I watched as she reached for her pen and notebook and wrote something down, then she placed the pen in-between the pages and looked up at me.

" I'm afraid I can, I only want to help you-"

" You CANNOT help me!..." I suddenly shouted. Hating the fact that all these people thought they could do whatever they pleased with our lives. 

" You can't, "I said more calmly. She seemed taken aback. Her blue eyes widened and she focused all her attention towards me. 

" I don't need counseling, all I want is to make it through the next two months without everyone constantly asking me whether I'm okay, "

" You're upset, "

" Of course I'm upset!" I shouted again. I couldn't seem to help it. There was so much rage bottled up, so much pain that I didn't want to let out. 

" Why? Help me here Calen, why the anger?"

I stood up and ran a hand over my face. That was as much counseling as I was willing to take. And I knew I didn't have to talk if I didn't want to, but I also knew that I couldn't leave that room until at least thirty minutes had passed. 

" Who was Jerald to you? I saw you together quite a lot and figured you might be best friends, "

I kept quiet,I wanted to correct her wrong assumption but I had had enough. So I sat back down and decided to wait for the next fifteen remaining minutes to pass,after which I'd take my leave and think about what to do concerning the letter. 

" Do you remember the first time you came here?" she asked after some minutes had passed. I didn't want to seem purposefully rude so I told her that I did. 

" Such a long time ago, isn't it? "

" Nine years, " I said and she nodded. 

That was yet another thing I didn't want to think about. A time I had put past me because the memories brought more sadness than anything else.

" You were so young, I could tell you were thinking about a lot of things but you tried to hide the fact and you'd just smile. "

I leaned back against the couch and tried to not think about the nine year old me. 

" I really need to go, " I said as earnestly as I could. 

" Please you have to grant me access to drive. I'm not planning on driving off a cliff, I assure you. "

Not as long as my JR still lived. 

" Im only doing my job, but you can help by doing your part as well. If you claim to be okay then I don't see why you don't want to talk, "

" Because it pains me to do so, okay? He was taken from me. Snatched. As if we meant nothing, and now I can't go five minutes without wondering what could be happening to him, whether he's okay...." I cut myself off, talking only made it worse, because words, even those spoken by me,were a tool. And they dug out feelings better left unspoke. 

" You loved him, "

" I still do," I hated that she had placed my love in the past,as if it were a thing long forgotten despite the fact that it was still up in flames inside me. 

" Why'd he leave?"

I shrugged.I wasn't by any chance going to tell her that part. I wasn't going to tell her that we had been separated by traditions and a blind person's view.

" Thirty minutes have passed. May I take my leave now?" I asked and she nodded. Though I could tell that she wanted to say something more. 

" Remember, you aren't allowed to drive. The gateman has already been informed. "

I didn't look back at her while she said that because I had realized it wasn't really an issue. If I couldn't drive myself then I'd just find someone drive me.

And I did.

Rajeev had been working on a physics project of his but he was more than willing to take me wherever I needed to go. I handed him my car keys and told him to wait for me near the exit, then I went to my quarters and took the box where I had packed whatever I wanted to send to him. Had it been anything else then I would have stayed back in school and not bothered. But this was too important. It just needed to be done. Not bothering to change out of my uniform I left.