Chapter 11

After class, the other students including Rajeev left the room. And I would have done the same, but I noticed that J.R wasn't moving. So I also decided to remain as I was.

Seated in front of him.

I had suspected that he was smart but today he just confirmed it with his brilliant skills in Chemistry. Which is also the only subject I seem to have an issue in. 

" Don't you want to go spend your break time outside? " I asked since it was what almost everyone did. They all liked to bask in the sun that was now shinning after having to endure the cold of the morning and being stuck indoors.

" Don't you? " He countered and I stood up from my desk, then moved to stand beside his and crossed my arms.

" I do, but if I were asked to choose between having the warmth of the sun envelope me and staying in here with you I would gladly choose the latter. "

" And why is that? "

I have never been known to beat around the bush. Whenever I wanted to say something I preferred to say it as it was.

" Because you interest me. And I like being interested in things. "

" What if I tell you that if I were asked to choose between solitude and staying here with you, I would choose the former? "

I planted both my palms on his desk and leaned in so close that the tips of our noses were only inches apart.

I could feel him struggling to breathe.

JERALDS' POV

" Then I'd say you're lying." It was a whisper. A seductive and alluring sound that drew me into this fantasy land where him and I were the only two individuals who resided.

" And you know that how ... exactly? "

He reached out and cupped my cheek, then he ran the hand up to my hair and gripped the strands with a little more force than I had anticipated.

" Because, my J.R, you lie as skillfully as I solve chemistry equations. "

I swallowed past the nervous lump in my throat. And I felt a pit start to form in my stomach. It made me anxious and excited at the same time. The feeling drove me close to insanity.

He had his eyes fixed in my lips, his intentions clear in them. And I panicked and turned away from him wrapping my hand around his wrist and forcing him to let go.

He stood upright and straightened his tie, then he gestured to the door and asked me to follow him. 

" Where to? "

" You shall know when we get there. "

I contemplated my options and for once I decided to the wise thing.

" I don't think that's such a good idea. "

" And why not? "

He didn't seem just or disappointed by my refusal to join him, on the contrary, he seemed like someone ready to accept a challenge and face it head on. And I don't know how I felt about knowing that I was the challenge.

" You scare me Calen Silverstein. And I'm not fond of fear. "

" And what is it about me that scares you? " 

I closed my books and placed them one on top of the other, feeling his eyes looming over my entire seated form and trying to stop my hands from shaking.

" I'm not exactly sure what. But I believe your directness had something to do with it. "

He made a thoughtful sound from the back of his throat. Then he reached over and carried my books for me.

" There you go lying again. You like how direct I am J.R, it's one of the many things that draw you to me. Now come on, we only have about thirty minutes left before the break ends. "

I watched him take two steps towards the door, and then, just like I knew I eventually would, I stood up and followed him out.

He took me to this place that was unlike any I have ever seen. It was actually just a small area admist the trees in the little forest near the sleeping quarters. But it was the most beautiful and serene place I have ever been to. There were these wild flowers that carpeted the ground, different shades of them scattered all round. I only recognised the bluebells, all the others were foreign.

I went down on my haunches and plucked a small purple one by the stem.

" Howell's violet, " Calen informed me. I could only smile and try to take it all in.

" I hear running water. " I caught the sound in the distance, it was faint but I heard it.

" There's a stream a short distance away, I'd take you but then we'd probably be late for the next class. And I've already gotten you into trouble once today. "

I stood with the flower in my hand, the delicate little thing that filled me with such calm.

" I'll take you when you're free, deal? " 

I smiled and nodded .

" Deal. " He went to a large log under one of the many trees and sat down on it. Placing the books beside him.

" I like to come here and listen to the birds chirping, and to the stream and to watch the bees migrate from one flower to another. "

" And do you always come here alone? "

That was my way of trying to find out how many people he had brought there before me.

" I do, until now you're the only person I have brought along with me. "

I believed him. I believed everything he said to me.

" Come...sit, " I looked at the spot on the log next to him and despite my better judgement, I walked over to him and sat down. 

" You don't have to be constantly on edge whenever you're around me. I assure you that I'm completely harmless. "

I kept my eyes fixed on the flower in my hand. Held it by the fragile stalk and rolled it between my fingers several times.

" I beg to differ. " I said after a lengthy pause.

He said nothing, and neither did I. Then he took a stick lying on the ground and began drawing patterns in the soil. And for some minutes we simply enjoyed being alone with each other, in the company we both provided. 

" May I ask you something? " I feared what the question was but I let him ask.

" I realised that you didn't join the music class ..or any other music related activity. Yet I saw you carrying a violin case yesterday, "

He stopped drawing his patterns to look at me. I plucked out the petals of the flower and watched as they fell, landing swiftly on the ground one after the other.

" Your realisation is correct. "

The response clearly didn't satisfy him but he didn't whine or try to push me into being more clear. Instead he gazed up at the sky that was mostly covered by the trees and kept his eyes fixed on it.

" For like as the waves move towards the pebbled shore, so do our minutes hasten to their end, " he said and I almost didn't hear him. I was looking at him. Seeing him through the clear light of my eyes, taking in every last detail and savoring the moment.

" And now you're quoting Shakespeare, could you be more arrogant Mr. Silverstein? "

I was once again gifted with the sound of his laughter. 

" That was me trying to tell you that our time here is almost up. "

" Well next time you can just point your watch,no need to show off your astounding literally eloquence. "

I liked how lightly we could joke around and banter. Sarcasm had become a part of our mode of communication.

" He calls me a show off then proceeds to use words such as astounding literally eloquence...oh dear pot, can you believe this crazy kettle dares to call you black? "

For the minutes that followed , we talked with such comfort and laughed with such ease. And all restrictions I had slowly began to fade. Then on the way back to the formal school grounds, he plucked a bluebell and offered it to me, I took it without reservations. 

" Self-fulfilment, " I said as we walked on cemented floor on the path that led from the garden he had been in yesterday to the educational building.

" I beg your pardon? " 

We went up the steps to the building, students all around us going the same way.

" I once had a friend who baked treats so wonderful I craved them in my sleep. I always told him that if he chose to open up a bakery he'd be a very successful person. But he always refused, and when I asked him why he told me that he baked for his own personal satisfaction..."

" As it is with your music I suppose? " Calen asked and I nodded. 

" Not that I'm as good a musician as he is a baker, but I prefer to play for no reason other than my own self-fulfilment. "

He placed a hand on my back and steeered me right when I would have gone left. I felt the press of his hold shoot all the way to my skin. I felt the warmth of his hand and firmness of his hold.

" That's quite a shame. I must admit I was looking forward to hearing you play. "

" Life is full of such disappointments. "

" As I'm only beginning to learn, " we stopped in front of my locker and he turned to the crowds lurking the halls and commanded everyone to hurry off to class. Hearing him do so did something to me, the command in his voice turned me on I think.

" I have Spanish class to persevere through, but I'm hoping I'll get to catch a moment with you later on. "

I turned to my locker and began entering the code.

" I tend to not make false promises. So we shall simply see, have a nice day Calen. "

Once I opened up my locker he moved closer and stuffed my books inside almost in slow motion. I felt him pressed against my back and the feelings that coursed through me were so foreign, all I wanted to do was flee. 

" Same to you...my J.R, " 

Words whispered so close to my ear I shuddered. And then he stepped away from me and I listened to his footsteps depart.

I have never been so scared for what the future held as much as I was in that moment.