Host Is Not A Sex Offender

Once Alex had calmed down, he spoke to the system calmly.

"System, that would take forever, surely I can have a different mission."

[No]

Alex lost it again.

"For f*ck's sake, how am I meant to complete this task. You're a shit system, what's the point in having you."

[There can be nothing wrong with the system, only with the Host]

This only served to infuriate him further.

Just before he was about to shout again, he decided against it.

"Whatever, I'll just try to figure out my next move," he sighed as he jogged off.

***

After about an hour of a cross between aimless jogging and walking (athletics wasn't his forte), Alex arrived at a cosy little street. The row of neat brick houses seemed oddly familiar to him, so he decided to look around for anything that could jog his memory.

Eventually he came upon a house with bricks of a sort of crème colour with dark grey ones scattered between. A garage extended from the first floor of the house with a dark brown roof that followed along the outer walls until it stopped above the similarly coloured door. A silver Vauxhall was parked in the drive.

As Alex tried to recall where he had seen this house, or one similar to it, he saw the door open.

A large and beefy man, with a large moustache could be seen kissing a thin woman with an almost horse-like face.

"Goodbye Petunia," He said as he turned around to see a boy of about fifteen staring at him with a shocked face.

"What's wrong with you boy. Have you never seen a man and a woman kiss before? Get out of here," the man shooed Alex away.

This man was of course the infamous Vernon Dursley.

Alex bolted away without even speaking.

'What a strange child,' thought Mr Dursley before hauling his large body into his car and driving to work.

***

Alex hadn't run far, just into some park nearby to gather his bearings. He sat on small swing and began to think.

"System, how can I complete this mission, do you at least have any tips?"

[System was going to tell Host that there was 7 parts to killing Voldemort – defeating him in each of the seven years at Hogwarts. The Host is not allowed to kill him until the 7th year or the administrators would not get their entertainment.]

"Why didn't you tell me? And who are the Administrators."

[System would have told Host but was rudely interrupted. Regarding the Administrators, Host is not allowed to know]

"You little-" Alex was about to burst but stopped and sighed. "Anyway how do I complete the first mission and defeat Voldemort? I'm already too old to have 7 years at Hogwarts,"

[System can help that but advises that Host moves away from any humans as it would shock them]

"Sure."

Alex hid in some foliage nearby and prepared himself.

"Come on then. Hit me!"

[System has no physical body, it cannot hit Host]

"..."

[Before process, System must analyse host memories to see what Host looked like as an 11 year old child]

"Analyse away."

[System is analysing Host's memories]

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," Alex joked.

[...]

The system stayed silent.

Alex's heart skipped a beat, "What's wrong? What did you find?"

Out of nowhere, an excruciating pain entered is head.

"Aaaargh,"

Alex wailed in pain until after a while it finally stopped.

"What was that? Was that you system?"

[...]

"What's wrong, were you broken by that attack or something?"

Alex panicked since, without this system, he was in a strange and foreign world with no idea what to do.

[System analysed memories and found one where Host complained that 'system-based web novels' were cliché and uninteresting]

"Are you joking? You're actually mad about that? That's why you shocked me?"

[System never jokes]

Alex was completely dumbfounded by this sulking system. How was he supposed to deal with it?

"You're acting like a 10 year old!"

[System is younger than ten, it was created a couple hours ago]

"Oh, so you're younger than that, great! Still, you're an all powerful system, so shouldn't you act a little more mature."

[System thinks Host is the one acting immature]

"Jesus Christ! You're meant to be an all-knowing and all-powerful system but, right now, all you seem to be good at f*cking me over!

Meanwhile Alex was having a breakdown, some passers-by could hear their strange conversation in a hedge. However, due to the day being quite windy and the passers-by quite far away, they could only hear parts of the conversation.

Unfortunately, they were the worst parts.

"...you're...a 10 year old,"

"...you're younger that, great!"

"...you seem to be good at f*cking,"

When they heard this, they were disgusted at this 'paedophile' and many of them called the police immediately.

As they did this, Alex continued to rant at the system.

A while later he was able to cool down, even though the system hadn't apologised for the attack. He had just given up with arguing as he never seemed to win.

"Forget it. Just do your de-aging magic or whatever on me."

[It's not magic, it's actually-]

"JUST DO IT!"

[System finds a memory of this meme in Host's memory, would Host like to replay it?]

Alex was exasperated.

He didn't even like that meme.

"System..." Alex let out a huge sigh, suppressing his anger, "...please just de-age me."

[Host should've asked to begin with.]

[Starting de-aging process now]

Alex's body started to contort and he felt his insides moving around; he could see psychedelic colours rotating all around him and different parts of his body got smaller at different times.

At one point, his head and one leg were 11 years old but the rest of him was 16.

The constant motion and colours started to make him feel sick, and just as he was feeling like throwing up, everything went white.