Chapter 4

I could not get that dream out of my head, now it was tormenting me, because I wanted to tell him, but I did not want to look like a silly little girl, so I did not, I would have to wait to see what happened between us and then see the possibility of telling him my dream, but, for now, that was something that had no future.

Message William: What are you doing? - Will asked, I think I was getting used to his sudden messages that ended my perception of tranquility, and it was not something I wanted to do since this could easily end overnight, without any justification, exactly as it started, or at least that's what I thought.

For nothing in the world I wanted to become a person dependent on another, I did not have very good experiences in that sense, just remembering my past experiences, although they were not many if they were engraved in my mind.

~Yes, beloved William, I did have experiences before you, I add the "s" because it was more than once, not in the sense that you will surely understand, but yes, they hurt me, I never got to love them, not like you, imagine all the damage you managed to do to me and the brutality with which you marked my life was disastrous. When I met you I remember that I wanted... I longed for your help to change my life, to change the boring tranquility in which I kept myself for so many years, but you ended it completely, my nights I do nothing but dream of you, of what we were, and in my days I see your living image reflected in our son~.

Message Rebecca: Here, I was having breakfast. - I mentioned smiling at the screen.

Message Rebecca: What are you doing? - I added again.

I left the kitchen with my bowl of coffee and headed out to finish one of the many pending assignments from school, I wouldn't do them if they didn't mean anything, but unfortunately they counted for the evaluations and I didn't want to be harmed just because of my own irresponsibility, not now that I had the last year left before entering college.

Message from William: Good, I'm at work. - he replied, suddenly I had a feeling as if he had been annoyed by my comment, or worse, by his response.

The days passed and today was the day we would see each other again, I wore clothes to school, so I could change immediately when the bell rang and not go with schoolgirl clothes, William was waiting for me at the exit of the establishment and for some reason everyone was watching me.

~ I always wanted my partner to pick me up from school one day, I guess you did, William. On the first day of high school you went to drop me off and for a moment, after all the problems that plagued us, I felt that we were okay, that we could really start over.

Poor, deluded me, to think that all that could be possible. You knew William, didn't you? You knew perfectly well how it would all end and not that I blame you for that, you just had more life under your belt than me, more experiences, better ones, I couldn't expect our relationship to work, we were and still are very different from each other~.

"Why are you dressed like that?" - he asked. I smiled embarrassed, was it a good comment, or maybe it looked like I was making a fool of myself and that's why everyone was looking at me?

"Because we were going out, doesn't it look good on me?" - I mentioned with my cheeks red with embarrassment. He smiled and then walked with me next to him, he tried to take my hand which embarrassed me even more, I just hoped no one was watching me right now, partly because I didn't want to have to explain that we were just friends when obviously, I wanted to be much more than that, but I wasn't sure if he wanted it too.

"No, you look too beautiful princess". - He mentioned while trying to find my eyes with his gaze, I tried to look at him, but I couldn't hold it for more than half a second, what was different about him? Why did he capture my attention so much? He was just another chuco, like any other. - "What's the matter?" - he asked taking my hand, I became much more nervous.

"He makes me nervous". - I answered in a low tone of voice. - "Why do you do it?" - I added smiling shyly. - "Holding my hand and looking at me like that". - I clarified when I felt his confused look on my being.

"Look at you how?" - William mentioned causing my gaze to fix on his for a little longer than just a couple of seconds. - "Like you are the most beautiful and perfect woman on earth, you are so beautiful and different from the rest of the women I have met, it makes me wonder if this is real or if it is just in my imagination. I took your hand because I want to make sure you won't run away when I tell you what I have planned, I know it's too soon, but I don't want to wait any longer to do it".

~ When you hinted to me that you wanted to be with me, that you had feelings for me... I swear by all that is holy, William, it was the most wonderful moment of my life, who would have thought that behind all that happiness there would be so much sadness and tears? No one who had seen us had thought of that, only the people who never thought that we would make it, not together, not with a child, and they were right, we were consumed...

I showed you more than enough love, while you failed to show it, you failed to trust, you failed to love me... William, in every thought I have with you I always end up doing two things, the first one; smiling for what we were, the second one; crying for how it all ended~.

_ "What-what co-thing?" - I stammered. My legs began to tremble, could it be that I wanted to say what I was also waiting for so long? - "Don't get your hopes up Beatriz, don't think things that won't happen". - I repeated to myself this time, I didn't want to look stupid.

"I don't know how it happened, I swear I didn't expect this, at least not so fast, but I'm feeling something very strong inside here". - He mentioned touching his chest, at the same time causing my eyes to fill with tears. - "Right now my heart is racing just hearing your voice, I want you to be my girlfriend Rebecca, I fell in love without even knowing it, but I can't stop thinking about you anymore, or hearing you after every call we make, it's like your voice is echoing in my head. I can't, I refuse to stop seeing your lips every time you send me a picture of your beautiful face, you don't know how much you brightened my life since you appeared in it". - he added.

"Y-yoo... I don't know what to say". - I answered, I couldn't believe what was happening, yes it was what I thought, I felt happy, too much, but I was also afraid, very afraid because I didn't know if this would last, and I didn't want to risk it all ending.

"Tell me you also feel the same, you can't deny it, I know it makes you nervous when I'm near you, look at you, you're trembling just having me near, I wondered... How would you react if I kissed you?" - He whispered getting closer to me, one of his hands took my cheek, by unconscious act, I responded to his caress, and with the other hand, he lightly took my waist bringing me closer to him. - "You don't know how long I've been wanting this". - he finished saying.

His lips were slowly approaching mine, when he finally joined them I responded to each of his movements, instinctively, it was the first time I did it, and I didn't know if I was doing it right, but I enjoyed feeling him so close to me.

"Did I do it right?" - I asked embarrassed, I didn't know if it was right what I had said, but I did it anyway, I'm stupid, I know.

"Why do you ask?" - He said staring at me, my cheeks reddened quickly, I know because I felt that particular heat in that area.

"It's the first time I do it". - I answered with embarrassment, I knew I didn't have to feel that way, but I did it anyway, at seventeen years old it was the first time I kissed someone, if I compared myself to my friends or classmates, I was a complete fiasco in that subject.

"It was more than perfect, now that I know I was your first time". - he mentioned. I thought I was dying inside, I took for another meaning what I had done. - "Is something wrong?" - he asked.

_ "No, nothing is wrong". - I commented.

We walked until we reached the square, which, by the way, was much farther away than last time, in fact, I didn't even know where we were going, but it wasn't the same place as last time.

He hadn't wanted to let go of my hand the whole way, and I think I was too nervous about it, it's true, we had kissed, what did that make us? Boyfriends? Friends? Fiancees? I think the last word I had made up.

"What does this make us?" - I asked curious, I knew I was being too hasty with all this, he smiled and then looked at me with a look I didn't know in him, I felt strange, a current went through my whole spine, but I didn't know what it meant either.

"I thought it was clear that I loved you, that my heart learned to love you and that I want you to be my bride, now, you must answer me if you also want it as much as I do".

"Yes, I do". - I answered shyly, he took me by the waist again and slowly pulled me closer to him, we joined our lips, his hands went down to my ass and I decided to separate.

"I'm sorry". - he mentioned. - "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable". - he added.

"It's okay, it's just that I'm not used to it". - I answered.