Chapter 15

Sanya...

SEVERAL hours passed, and before we knew it, it was already evening. We decided to head to Alexa's condo to spend the night until Monday morning.

"Oh? What are you doing here? Get out!" Alexa exclaimed when she opened the door for us.

Kyra, with a mischievous smile, entered and casually placed the stuff we bought on the couch, acting as if it were her own place.

"I thought Kyra already told you," I said, entering as well.

"She didn't say anything," Alexa replied grumpily.

"Really?" I looked at Kyra, who just smiled. "Is that true?"

"Don't believe her, Sanya. She's just messing with us," Kyra responded.

I heard Alexa laugh behind me. "Just kidding, Sanya. Besides, even if you didn't tell me, it's okay. You're always welcome here."

We chatted again while Kyra and I organized our things, including the tent we would use for the outing we were sharing.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" Alexa asked. "Did you forget anything? I'm sorry I can't join; you should have told me earlier that it was a camping outing. I thought it was the usual boring kind, and I could have prepared and joined."

"It's okay. You need to practice; the swimming competition is coming up," Kyra replied. "Everything's ready now! How about you, Sanya?"

I gave them a thumbs-up and smiled, checking the time and realizing it was almost one in the morning. That's when I started feeling tired and sleepy. "Guys, it's almost 1 am. I'm getting sleepy."

"Oh, right!" Alexa exclaimed. We followed her to her bedroom, where she pushed the sofa bed closer to her low-height bed. Kyra and I helped her arrange everything, and she brought out extra pillows and blankets for the two of us. We often stayed at her condo because it was close to school, especially during times like these when we had to go to school early.

It was spacious enough, as Alexa's one-bedroom condo was relatively large for her alone. After setting up, they quickly fell asleep. I took out my phone, which I hadn't checked earlier, since Kyra was with me. It vibrated continuously, and I saw the latest message:

January 16, 1:16 am

+639157767388

Do I really need to find out from someone else?

I furrowed my brow at what I read. Without thinking, I replied with a simple 'Huh?' to the unknown number. Several minutes passed, and I assumed the sender was already asleep, given the late hour.

I was surprised when my phone vibrated again. "Hello?"

"What the hell, Sanya!" I paused as I heard Adam's voice on the other end. Who else could it be but Adam?

I entered the comfort room of Alexa's room before responding. "What now?!"

"Why are you yelling at me now?" he sounded annoyed. "I just want to remind you that you left the house without saying anything. It's late, and you're still not home. If I hadn't asked Lena about your whereabouts, what you were doing, or your number, I wouldn't have known."

"Why do you need to know? Do I need to ask for your permission? What's it to you?" I kept my voice down, but the irritation still lingered in my tone.

"Well, I hope you realize that you have someone at home who worries about you when you leave without saying anything and don't come home on time because you're staying over at a friend's house. You could at least leave a note, so I know, so I wouldn't worry. How would I know if you're drunk again or if something happened to you?"

"What's your point? You talk like you're my husband!"

"That's right! I am your husband!" I heard him sigh deeply before speaking again. "I know you don't care about me. I know our kiss meant nothing to you, and I won't bother you about it. I'll pretend it never happened. I know we're only married on paper, but Sanya, I still care about you. I still worry about you. I know my number isn't saved on your phone, so that's why you replied like that. I know I'm the last person you'd call if you had a problem or something happened to you, but I'm here."

His tone suddenly softened, and I didn't understand why I felt guilty, why I felt a tinge of sadness.

"I am worried because I thought it might be my fault. I thought maybe you were scared of me after what I did that night. I'm worried that maybe you'd come home drunk again, and this time, the driver wouldn't be responsible. I am worried about you. That's it. Save my number, I don't care what you label me in your phone book, just save it. Next time, even just a text, so I won't feel this worry again. That's enough for me."

I stayed silent, not knowing how many seconds or minutes passed. It felt like we were testing each other.

"Is it okay now?" I finally asked, unable to endure the silence.

He sighed deeply. "Yeah, that's it, sorry," he said with a noticeable sadness in his voice.

"Okay, Zhymian, I'll hang up now because if you don't know, it's almost 3 am, and I should have been asleep earlier if you hadn't bothered me."

"Sorry again, go ahead."

"Okay, bye!"

"Sanya!"

"What now?!" I asked irritably. "I'm really sleepy, so can you please stop bothering me!"

"Sorry, but this is really the last one," he fell silent again and took a deep breath. I waited, but he didn't speak.

"What are you going to say? Are you going to talk, or should I end the call?"

"Here it is!" he replied assertively, "What I said earlier, that's true. I was worried, and I know I might not be the first person you'd want to talk to. I'm not the first person you'd approach or ask for help, but I'm here, I'm just here. Okay, bye and goodnight."

After he said that, he ended the call, and I just stared at my phone when another text message from him arrived.

January 16, 2:35 am

+639157767388

Save my number before you delete my text. -A

I sighed and saved his number in my phone, just as he instructed. Once the number was registered, I simply put the letter 'A' as his name in my phone book.

After that, I returned to bed and lay down slowly beside Alexa. She was in the middle of Kyra and me, with me closer to the window on her left, and Kyra on her right.

Sleep still didn't visit me, even though I woke up early and was tired from all the shopping. I didn't know why my blood seemed to be wide awake.

I tried to close my eyes, but I could still hear Adam's voice from earlier in my head.

'What I said earlier, that's true. I was worried, and I know I might not be the first person you'd want to talk to. I'm not the first person you'd approach or ask for help, but I'm here. I'm just here.'

I shouldn't be thinking about that, but it seemed like my ears had a life of their own, replaying his words in my mind. I stared at the moon peeping through the window of the room, trying to focus on it and erase all of Adam's words from my thoughts, until drowsiness finally pulled me away.