SilverFlame
Hello everyone, hope you all are well. I know it is a tradition here for authors to write reviews on their own novels. But I wanted to wait for mine to have some substance before finally doing my review. After writing over 25K words and reading it multiple times myself, I can say it turned out pretty well. Hence, I am giving myself a 5-star... This is my first time writing, so if you find any mistakes please let me know and I will do my best to fix them. Finally, Thank you for your support and I hope you have a wonderful reading experience...
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Well, it's pretty good, but there are some mistakes. -Timeline is a mess, -Sharingan doesn't come from Otsutsuki, but from shinju, as is the sage body and wood-style, from Kaguya side u get dead bone pulse and byakugan. Hagaromo inherited it the same way Naruto his whiskers, -In Naruto world chakra is more soul thing than body, ofc body is influencing it, but u can say that Yamato isn't Hashirama, even if he has DNA of Hashirama, which for me seems like his chakra isn't that attuned to wood as was Hashiramas(someone is gonna say something about Madara, but he is a transmigration of Indra direct son on Hagoromo). Orochimaru even after switching bodies still has his immense chakra and the same affinity(wind), and lastly, Edo Tensei, which literally forces soul in somebody body, changes them to look the same as they were before they died and having the same bloodline, if the body was the source of these things, the undead ninjas wouldn't have the same bloodline. Besides these points, this novel is pretty good, most people would not care about these things, but I really don't like when someone is putting the same knowledge as in our world in a world where it's clearly different, I don't see any chakra in our world, so the worlds clearly differ in a way. If it was that 'easy' to get fully activated bloodline as activating genes, then Orochimaru would be god be the time of chunin exams. If i made some mistakes fell free to point it to me :)
If Laylin Ferlier from Warlock of Magus World had reincarnated into Naruto world instead in the Magus world, then what would happen? This story is that answer. MC just has a different name with slightly different personality and much less intelligence than Laylin. Even his goals are same. Completely same. He even wants to destroy the world to get immortality, except in this case, he does have a different method. Plus MC is just way too adamant about following the cannon because of some poor excuse of having an advantage, but if you read between the lines you'll realise that author is just trying to hide his lack of imagination. I mean, why else would there be this little character development? Plus, not preventing the Uchiha massacre because Hogoromo's spirit is watching the birth of Sasuke and Naruto? Seriously! Could you not come up with a better excuse? Hogoromo's spirit would care about MC? He's an insignificant mortal. Not to mention, he's never interfared before why would it now? And even if, it's not like Hogoromo's spirit can see the future. There has to be a limit of nonsense somewhere, not all readers are stupid, naive 5 year olds.
great idea i love warlock in a magnus world and I like naruto, hopefully u have his personality like the warlock mc personality so he is willing to do anything for his own progress. its cool how u use the sharingan like the warlock bloodline which both cause an emotional outburst. for bloodline, he can try and find the monk who has isshiki inside him and take that bloodline. or when looking into sage mode he can get jugos blood maybe use a huyga bloodline to access tenseigan as with his lab he can mass produce puppets then use the AI on a huyga clone with tensegian to control puppet army
I read the fanfic until the orochimaru part so I had to drop it, I don't know why you would help orochimaru of all people, you can achieve everything orochimaru has done his entire life in a few years, he literally has an A.I to assist his experiments, but anyway, it was a good read just until that part to ruin for me.