Chapter 1 The Old Song

"yes. that's good. keep going." I try to put more satisfaction in the voice as I fake my orgasm. I know that's wrong and I should be honest with him. Trust me. You do NOT want to be honest with him.

Aakash gets up and puts on his clothes. He's scared someone might find us. We were in my room and no one was home. But, his paranoia was understandable.

He makes us some black tea and we sip it like typical Nepali people. Aakash is someone I trust with my life and I'd made some plans with him. I hate to say this but I don't like those plans. But we gotta make a compromise if we're gonna be together for life.

Lately, I've been feeling that this relationship isn't working well. Aakash knows it but he's trying so hard to deny it.

"Samara? Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you thinking? I'm asking is it too spicy for you? I think I mixed too much black pepper."

"Ahh no no it's fine. Tastes perfect." It did taste perfect.

See I'm an overthinker, so, I analyzed that Aakash and I got together because we were trauma bonding from a massive heartbreak. Our heartbreaks involved a teenage egoist wanna-be-fuck-boy and a teenage hypothetical whore.

And I'm saying it as politely as possible. Anyway, Aakash and I were too close and too lovey dovey. I'm not saying too much lovey doveyness makes your relationship fake but it sure as hell makes it temporary.

I saw him out and he kissed me sofly against the door as he was unlocking it. He looked happy. I saw him go and the image of his red cap, brown T-shirt, and grey trousers faded away.

I threw myself into the bed and played music on shuffle. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was exhausted and unhappy.

~I found a love~

"Perfect" by Ed Sheeran was on. This song held a hell lot of memories with that one person I'm supposed to forget. Just as I was having a relationship crisis, my heart's wound reopened and I cried. Not for Aakash. But, for losing Soham, the one my heart ached for all the time.