Chapter two: Who am I?
After returning from eating Connor had a troubled mind let's say.
Over breakfast he had almost had another breakdown but even when all this sadness shocked him and drowned him he could still see a little bit of light, a little bit of something to live for, to be greater than before, to achieve his true greatness.
He walked with the pride of a dead man walking right up to his room, which was on top of the orphanage, so no sneaking away, yay!
He still learnt something while having breakfast, first off he was eight years old and supposed to turn nine in a week, second, it seemed to be 1989, third interesting fact he was in britain which he hadn't realized earlier due to the fact that the matron was American, something he was not expecting.
His mind was already cooking up something, something he hoped was not true as that may destroy everything he hoped for.
As soon as he entered the room Connor looked in his room to find something small, something one could lift easily.
He found that in a small pen, which looked way too old and a little bit shattered so he put it on the floor and sat in front of it, watching it intensely.
He spent thirty minutes staring, barely blinking, just getting frustrated and more frustrated, because that damned pen was as static as always and it didn't even move a little bit.
Ten minutes passed and now he felt too frustrated so he stood up
"You're not gonna let a pen beat you, you're not gonna let a pen beat you"
He slowly calmed down and tried to think of ways on how to do this, first he went back to a lotus position, making his breath go as still as possible and just trying to tune in with himself, and then he tried to feel "the force" or any sort of energy around him and… he was unable to, no matter how much he tried.
So he went for option two, he kept his eyes closed and tried to think of the pen slowly rising, thinking it with as much detail as possible and when he opened his eyes, he was yet again, disappointed.
Soon it was time for lunch and while he ate he listened to the other kids dumb conversation, oh so Jonathan had a new girlfriend, that is so cool and awesome.
He tried to filter through the conversations by eating the not so shitty food
"Did you hear? Carmen got the flu" a random girl said
"Oh my god really? Could we die from that" asked someone way younger
"Did you hear what Jason said, if I put feeling into it I may be better at basketball" a little kid said
"Yeah you might have to grow up a little too" Said a teen mocking him which earned the laugh of other two teens
But soon he ended up finishing his food and going back to trying to force his powers, yet nothing he did seemed to work.
He spent the whole afternoon trying to do everything in his imagination to make that damned pen move even just a little, but it escaped him. He tried with every trick in every movie he had ever seen but he was not able to make it even move a little.
His frustration was growing so much, he was supposed to become a god someday wasn't he? His anger was starting to get the better of him so he grabbed the pen and broke it in half and just as he did that a voice called out.
"It's time for dinner come down children"
Without saying much he went down to eat, and as soon as he entered the noise entered his eardrums, the noise, too much noise, but he could deal with it.
He grabbed a plate and sat down willing to just eat and go to sleep.
But the noise kept getting louder.
The annoying voice of Erika practically screaming her lungs out saying something about captain america. Which then lead to this whole debate about heroes and stuff but they were kids, so it wasn't really interesting it was, annoying way too annoying
After the short debate, somehow they all decided to scream at each other and in that moment he had enough.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP" He yelled hard while grabbing his hurting head.
And almost to answer the yell the table they were all eating on broke in a million pieces.
—------------------------------------------------
Connor didn't know it would be this fast.
To end up homeless on the first day back to the living, was already a promising journey.
With all the pity and hate he had for these people now, he grabbed his stuff and left, but on his way the kind and caring matron said something to him.
"I HOPE YOU DIE MUTIE"
While harsh it only drove the point in his mind which made him happy, angry and sad.
Those dorks weren't talking about captain america for nothing, captain america existed, like for real, not only that but he was a mutant.
And, fuck, he was a mutant,
Connor began to walk aimlessly through the streets, his mind well awake to his surroundings, and when he found an alleyway which led nowhere he entered.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"
'So I'm in marvel which is great, I can become really strong, but so can fucking everyone, worse of it all, I'm a mutant, not some powerful sorcerer or anything like that, I'm the most hated type of person to exist on planet earth at the moment. A planet that also gets attacked by alien species, the whole celestials bullshit, the whole mutant erasure, why the fuck marvel'
He tried to take some breaths to calm himself but a smile also worked his way out of his mouth with stunning force.
'But if I'm a mutant I could still get some awesome powers, I bet I have telekinesis but maybe I have something else too I have to figure that out, but first'
He aimed his hand to a bottle of coke, and raised his hand, but the bottle of coke remained on the ground, still as it was before.
'Ok so I still got nowhere with this thing, but something is something'
He grabbed as many things as he could which looked comfortable and he made a make shift bed, and hoped, hoped so hard that no one would see him and steal from him. Just hoping made him lightheaded so he fell back at his "bed" and went to sleep for the night
—-------------------------------------------------
Connor didn't know it would be this fast.
To end up homeless on the first day back to the living, was already a promising journey.
With all the pity and hate he had for these people now, he grabbed his stuff and left, but on his way the kind and caring matron said something to him.
"I HOPE YOU DIE MUTIE"
While harsh it only drove the point in his mind which made him happy, angry and sad.
Those dorks weren't talking about captain america for nothing, captain america existed, like for real, not only that but he was a mutant.
And, fuck, he was a mutant,
Connor began to walk aimlessly through the streets, his mind well awake to his surroundings, and when he found an alleyway which led nowhere he entered.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"
'So I'm in marvel which is great, I can become really strong, but so can fucking everyone, worse of it all, I'm a mutant, not some powerful sorcerer or anything like that, I'm the most hated type of person to exist on planet earth at the moment. A planet that also gets attacked by alien species, the whole celestials bullshit, the whole mutant erasure, why the fuck marvel'
He tried to take some breaths to calm himself but a smile also worked his way out of his mouth with stunning force.
'But if I'm a mutant I could still get some awesome powers, I bet I have telekinesis but maybe I have something else too I have to figure that out, but first'
He aimed his hand to a bottle of coke, and raised his hand, but the bottle of coke remained on the ground, still as it was before.
'Ok so I still got nowhere with this thing, but something is something'
He grabbed as many things as he could which looked comfortable and he made a makeshift bed, and hoped, hoped so hard that no one would see him and steal from him. Just hoping made him lightheaded so he fell back at his "bed" and went to sleep for the night
—-------------------------------------------------
Waking up in the street is a weird feeling, but seeing as he was alone in the alleyway made him feel a little bit better.
He was crying thou.
Didn't really know why.
Well, he knew why, he missed his other life, the one which was actually his, no matter that it was mostly him thinking things that turned out to be false but this life was not his, in the way the past one was.
No matter what he did he already had a whole life, ex boyfriends and girlfriends, finding out horrific stuff, all the shitty aspects of life that came with the also beautiful things he had.
He wiped his tears quickly
'Shit, I got to-'
He tried thinking but a sob came out uncontrollably
'FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, I miss you mom, I miss you kevin, why the fuck am I here?'
He continued crying as he went to his knees and pleaded to the sky.
"Take me back, please, please"
He spent some time like that, but like always a little voice made him feel better as it reminded him of something, of the power he could have.
'I will get you back, all of you'
He dried his tears once again and stood up, ready to face the probably shitty day that was expecting him.
'First of all something to eat'
—--------------------------------------------------------
As it turns out, stealing in britain isn't that hard, and he found a good loot too, a couple crackers and a juice.
He munched on his cookies as he got to the alley he now called house and began to think of a plan.
He could probably go to the sorcerer supreme or maybe try to go to the school for gifted something something that was the whole pretend thing Charles did to create a safe haven for mutants.
Connor was truly at a lose on what to do but when he got to the alleyway he got enough of this 'not knowing my power bullshit', so after arriving at the alleyway he went to the same coca cola bottle than before and closed his eyes again.
He tried to lift it with his mind as much as he could but it was impossible.
He gritted his teeth in anger and remembering something his husband used to say, he channeled his emotions into the action.
He grabbed all this emotion of anger, fear, all this that consumed him and focused on the bottle to rise.
It was like a click, he understood then how to do it but even if he understood how to do it, it didn't mean he could do it properly
CLASH
The sound of glass exploding went through the whole alleyway and even a little bit into the city, but nobody really minded.
'I got powers' He thought incredulously.
Ps: Pls tell me if you are enjoying this book and leave any paring you might want to see, any gender is welcomed. Also I'm sorry about his I'm gonna be god attitude that could maybe change, but who knows you are gonna have to wait for that
Should the chapters be longer, let me know ;)