My Journey

I opened my eyes and found out I was in a hospital. The white ceiling over my head reminded me of the time when Jeremy first brought me to his room to be cured. I was wondering if I had made the right decision to join Jeremy when I was no good at such things. I was fine just before getting hurt and after an injury, I got useless. If Jeremy was there with me, he would have said that I was wrong and would have scolded me.

A nurse came in my room and checked how I was and left, then Owen came in. He had some files in his hands, those must have been Jeremy's. He came near me and sat on a chair.

Owen: You went through a surgery and it went well. You should be fine with answering a few questions, am I right?

-Why are you interrogating me? You already know.

Owen: Consider it human's curiosity.

-But you have no right to do that.

Owen: I'm a police officer and I saw you in a place in which a normal citizen mustn't be.

The moment I found out he was a cop; all I could think of was the people that I had killed. Had he found out? Was he there to arrest me? Despite knowing the fact that I was a criminal, I didn't want to get exposed. I wanted to be free even for a bit. Even though that wasn't the life I had imagined, I wanted to belong to a place which they accepted me and a prison was not the right place to feel that way.

Owen: What's your name?

I didn't answer, I didn't want to say my real name nor the name Jeremy gave me.

Owen: It will be best for you if you participate in the interrogation, Miss. Tamsin.

As he pronounced the name of mine which I had forgotten, I felt something broke in me. Like a thread was torn, all of a sudden the memories I had forgotten came back to me. It was such a long time since I heard that name, it felt weird. I was so busy neglecting my everything and building new memories with Jeremy. I had built walls around those memories but the walls weren't strong enough and tore to pieces as if they were made of threads. My brother, my mother, my father, my friends, my Tamsin side, not the Raven side. I wondered how they were doing after I left them.

Owen: Miss. Tamsin, you were a decent citizen for all your life and now you were found between drug dealers.

-I didn't know they were drug dealers.

Owen: So who were you after? You don't work with the police, and there's no information on where you were and what you were doing in the past year. I would like a thorough explanation.

He was a good person, he was a cop, and had helped me, who were accused of being a criminal. But I didn't want to work against Jeremy.

Owen: You left home right after you got into college and left forever. You told me you were after some kind of revenge. How did that organization take your everything, when you absolutely had no connection to such things?

-Life has surprises.

Owen: I'd like to hear them.

-It's a private matter.

Owen: Were you his lover?

He didn't seem to believe it but it was a great idea to save Jeremy, or at least that was what I had thought.

-Yeah.

Owen: How did you meet him?

-That's a private matter.

Owen: Fine, it's obvious your lying but we leave your relationship to him like that. Having these documents means you know who he was and what he did. How did you get these?

I looked at him without responding.

Owen: You stole them? Am I right? But you didn't actually think these are enough to bring him down?

His words made me waver one more time, was it all a trap? Did I made a mistake by trusting Jeremy? But I recalled our memories, those precious times he held me dear as he would his family, those dear times when we spent together even though we both were busy, even though it was only a year but Jeremy wouldn't do that to me, he never looked me up, he could use any ways to find out who I was but he never did, nor mentioned. Jeremy wasn't enemy, I shouldn't have doubted him. Owen had a plan, it was clear as day. I wasn't in a position to disagree because Jeremy was in danger, so I played along.

-So what if I was thinking? Can you offer another way? If I knew one, I wouldn't be here.

Owen: You're right. You had a time with Jeremy together, right?

-Yes.

Owen: After leaving here, you have to join him again, and work as our spy. Have it in your mind, you are the government's spy and the government wants the best for its citizens. Carry it out your plan properly.

-But it's not possible. If I went back, he would realize something's off.

Owen: Then you have to show a great play.

-What if I refuse to do this? It's dangerous.

Owen: You worked with a criminal and were aware of his crimes, yet you remained silent and did not report. You'll be sentenced to jail and once you get out, your youth will be gone and it will be hard to get back to the life you want. Considering your connection to your family, you are totally abandoned by them so your only hope for a better life is helping us, helping the nation.

My family had abandoned me? Ha! Who abandoned who? He was full of bullshit. The nation, the citizen, the government, they never helped me once, they never cared about me, when I lost my precious teenage hood, no one cared, when I was crying my eyes out, no one offered any shoulder, as if I would help them. There were a lot of things never got to know, but I knew something for sur that Jeremy who is considered a bad guy was the only one, who helped me, even though he forced me to choose it, Jeremy was my reason to live. And I, Raven, never doubted Jeremy from that moment on.

I agreed to help in the price of clearing my resume, that was something anyone would have asked and I had to ask.

After I recovered, I was ordered to get back to Jeremy, and was instructed on how to lure him out and make some evidence.

I found my way to the city where Jeremy and my home were. I went back to my apartment; it was empty there were no sign of Jeremy being there. It was as how I left before. I had another cellphone which was given to me by Jeremy. I tried to call Jeremy, I needed to tell him what was going on. Our main building was empty, I could see it from my window, they had left. Calling him was in vain. He didn't pick up. I messaged him but he didn't respond.

I sat alone in the corner. I kept staring at the floor for no reason. Where the hell was Jeremy? He could have leaved a message for me. I called Owen and told him I had to go on a search for Jeremy since he was out of reach. He insisted on ordering someone to accompany me, but I rejected him.

I listed a few places Jeremy could have been there in my head, and got ready to start my Journey. Once again I had to travel but not for finding a home, this time I was going to bring back my home, my family, my reason to leave, my everything, my Jeremy.