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Heir of Chaos.

Guys I just write what I want to write. Starts off in Harry Potter there’s a Harem there is multiverse travel. Marvel world was involved at some point. If you don’t know me from my other stories than I’ll inform you here and now. I am chaos incarnate.

Ryan_Colman · Book&Literature
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189 Chs

Terrifying.

Do you know what the scariest thing on earth is? It's not dragons or dark lords, no the scariest thing on earth is puberty.

There are some things that even being a trained unspeakable doesn't prepare you for. One of those things happens to be when multiple girls all go through puberty and their time of the month at different times. There's no stop to the crying and the questions you have to answer correctly or your doomed forever. The amount of chocolate and ice cream I had to provide was crazy. I also had to constantly give them affection and make them feel beautiful and buy them gifts and deal with them being jealous of each other for getting attention from me. There really was absolutely no winning in this situation.

On the plus side there were potions that helped them and honeydukes made this lovey chocolate that helped calm women down at that time of the month. It took me forever to find out this information. Usually fathers pass this knowledge down to sons so I got left out and Sirius didn't inform me of any of this. Peter got extra nasty tests done that week and didn't even know why.

It was terrifying. Anything could set them off. I ask how they are in their homework and the next thing I know they break down in tears saying how they are going to fail. Then I have to spend an hour calming them down and making sure they aren't going to fail Before I can even start on anything that is my own.

I was also required to take them all out on dates since we could go to hogsmeade. I even built a very nice restaurant in hogsmeade where I had a private room just for us to do dates. I also had to take out Hermione on dates and buy her things because I'm not a dense idiot who can't tell when a girl has feelings for me. Sure she would be in for a shock when she found out I was married to multiple women but I would just leave all that to the girls and be a coward because I simply can. Also she already knew about lords harems from magical politics, she however didn't know I was a lord multiple times over though. There was one thing that was for sure though and that was I was going to receive a beating for it anyway. There's no helping it.

Meanwhile Bella would just cackle at me through the mental link whenever a situation popped up involving the girls. See if I don't spank her later.

But it was all for the harem! Even if I wanted to cower in my trunk and hide from the storm of emotions thrown at me I would bravely face my death! Or well emotionally unstable wives.

To top all of that off mad eye was an absolute mad man when it came to training. It was much worse than I thought and he demanded perfection. I'm pretty sure I saw the goblin trainer crying tears of joy as he watched us do insane training regimes. I'll just pretend I didn't see it.

Not to mention the old one eyed bastard would constantly throw spells at us to test our reflecting and awareness of our surroundings while shouting. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

You either had to dodge them and keep moving or shield on the run. If you got hit you better be prepared for an earful. A third of the class quit the first month and went to regular auror training.

Kingsley was much more mellow he taught us basic procedures and auror protocol and spells used for the take down of criminals.

Narcissa had started teaching the class about dark creatures and how to defeat them. She too had brought in a boggart. I was quite curious as to what my greatest fear would be. I knew I had a fear of needles and an irrational fear of fish and heights. So I wondered how this would play out.

For the first time in my new life I had actually failed. When I stepped in front of the closet containing the boggart my greatest fear stepped out and confronted me.

It was the man from the honeydukes candy store. He opened up his mouth and said the words I had been fearing. "I'm sorry lad the calming chocolates are all sold out this month and we won't receive anymore stock for atleast another month." He said in a cold somber tone.

Forgetting he was a boggart I jumped at the man and hugged his legs. "Nooooo please you can't do this to me! I'll pay double no triple! I need those chocolates!" I shouted almost in tears.

"I'm sorry lad I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store." He said as an insane glint flashed in my eyes and I whipped my wand out.

"This is a robbery put all the calming chocolates in the bag!" I said holding him at wand point.

Narcissa in the back just facepalmed before hitting me with a stunning spell. Cheapshotting me in my time of need.

"Luna be a dear and take him to the hospital wing for a calming draught." She told the laughing girl.

"Okay." At that point I was levitated to the hospital wing and had to fight off nightmares of the chocolate being sold out! I would wake up several hours later after having had some nice calming potions. I was surrounded by snickering girls.

So I did the manliest thing I could to regain my honor. I just crossed my arms and pouted.

Bella was roaring with laughter in my mind the little traitor! I'm sure she would tell Sirius so he could get a laugh out of it as well. I'd never be able to live this down. My reputation would be ruined but I would also receive pitying glances from mad eye and the other male teachers who understood my pain.