Chapter 13 - The Idiot Fraud

When Harry walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts, he let out a slow and soft sigh. At the front of the room, he watched the pompous and narcissistic man brush his hair. Due to running a few minutes late, he found the only open spot next to Ron. Who somehow managed to break his wand again as Harry spotted tape around it.

"Ron, how did you break your wand?" Harry whispered as he took a seat.

He watched his ex-friend ears turn red from either embarrassment or anger but didn't answer. Harry could only shrug as he could ask someone else or wait for Molly's howler. His eyes drifted over to Hermione who was bouncing in her seat and he was sure he saw hearts in her eyes. Which wasn't really different from the other females.

"Welcome to Defense against the Dark Arts, taught by Me, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award — but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

The pompous teacher and fraud opened up the class with a long winded and useless title. Harry could only roll his eyes as it was worse the second time around. If he compared his titles he collected compared to Lockhart, it would be like comparing a Horklump to a Griffin.

"Sir, how come in your books some of the timelines overlap?" Harry raised his hand and asked hiding a small smirk. "In one you were in Thailand as well Australia and finally in the Sahara Desert all within one week. Unless you can travel through time, you are either a fraud or a fiction writer."

He heard gasps from around the room as the once adoring fans turned into a glaring audience ready to tear the man apart. Not that Harry blamed them as the man collection of books are rather expensive. Not all the students' families were well off and the man only used this job to sell his books to students.

"Now hold on, telling lies isn't very nice." Lockhart said in an attempt to rescue his reputation.

"Alright, can you lift the corner of your desk and cast the spell you used to turn a werewolf back into his human form? Better yet, teach us the spell as I am sure a lot of wizards and witches would like to know it. You know to keep them and others safe should they run across a werewolf." Harry smiled innocently at the man.

"I will humor you just this once, the spell is called Homorphus Charm." He said quickly as many began packing up their stuff. "I will demonstrate this once."

Proudly raising his wand as he had a slight tremble in his legs, everyone watched as his wand shot out a few small golden sparkles. Quickly trying again the sparks appeared once again but with a loud boom as the man flew into the castle wall.

'Why in the world would this near squib wizard think of adding an explosive part to a highly unstable and clearly his own spell work. He couldn't be dumb enough to think he a master spell crafter could he?' Harry thought as screaming and panic soon sat in among the twelve and thirteen years old. 'I hope this idiot is good enough to teach until Dumbledore or I can replace him soon enough.'

"Everyone calm down. Shouting and panicking will not help and someone needs to go get Madam Pomfrey." Harry shouted but clearly didn't have an effect. Rolling his eyes, he walked out of class to a nearby teacher.

--

While Harry was attempting to deal with the fraud stupidity, Daphne was currently sitting in History of Magic. She was currently creating a list of all the heirs whose families are either in important positions or in wizengamot. This she could use to help Harry expand his friend base and should he be found out. They might be able to help him out in some way.

'I doubt Harry would want to stay in the wizarding world or more so Magical Britain in the future.' She tapped her finger thinking about the future. 'Maybe we should travel the world after Hogwarts and Riddle's dead. I am sure Harry wants to since it was denied to him last time around.'

"Daphne, what are you doing?" She broke out of thought as her best friend Tracey whispered loudly into her ear.

"A side project of possible connections."

Daphne could instantly tell her friend didn't totally believe her if the hum she heard was anything to go by. It is a shame, but truthfully she made it clear that she wasn't interested in politics last year. If only Harry chose to go there but she could understand his reasoning too. They were in a very conversational area as far as she is concerned with Harry's needs to keep living every month.

"If you say so." Tracey simply said before changing topics to a couple rumors and fashion. Daphne only half listened to the fashion tips as she was more interested in the rumors. She wanted to stay ahead and hopefully work some of her own. After all it wouldn't do if others began seeing Harry disappearing with a girl every month.

In the end though the only thing that really interested her was Weasley sitting on his wand snapping it. Daphne could only shake her head on why some chose to stick their wands in their back pocket. A slight grin formed as she couldn't wait to tell Harry about it as he was a stickler about it later on in life quoting Mad-eye Moody.

'Don't keep your wand in your back pocket unless you want to blow off your checks.' an older Harry popped up in Daphne's mind as he was a guest lecture in Hogwarts. 'Though, I suppose there is another 'wand' you can stick back there if you're into that.'

The memory of a class blushing as Harry drove their sixteen and fifteen minds crazy. It was a great one that he showed her pensieve she borrowed from a friend. Though the tongue lashing he got from the professor at the time afterwards made it better.

'I believe Harry had Defense against the Dark Arts. I wonder what happened to the fraud as Harry got a prankster side now.' Daphne wondered.

--

After the disaster in class, Harry learned that Lockhart will be able to continue teaching for the time being. However, Dumbledore managed to pass him a message that he will look into a retired auror to be guest lectures for most of the year. Which should help most students gain their knowledge needed.

Since he felt that was taken care of and Dumbledore unable to do his lesson in potions and Alchemy. Harry decided to draft a letter to Fleur before doing some self study and review in potions and charms.

'Dear Fleur,

How have you been and if you haven't yet received word from Daphne. I got in trouble with a 'certain' ancestry acting up. Anyways I should be good to go for about another two to three weeks. Sadly though, I ended up bondeding the girl and marking her so at least I have someone to keep me company now.

While I haven't chatted with Daphne quite yet about the bonding, I am sure she will agree that I won't bond with most of my partners. So, yay I suppose not that I want a large harem or group of lovers. Though, Daphne is going to keep track of everyone, so I nominate her to manage that since I doubt I could.

Anyways, so I had my first Lockhart class...again and it...explosive. The idiot somehow thought that adding an explosive component to a spell he failed to cast moments before. While it did give me a slight laugh, it mainly scared the life out most of the others since they are around twelve and all.

In the end though he is going to be ok, pity in my opinion which at least I have someone to prank. So it isn't all bad at least as I have a guinea pig though he doesn't know that.

Now I guess for my current situation on seeing the Weasleys. While it took a few hours to really adjust to them being young again. I question what I saw in Ron the first time around truthfully as all he currently talks about is slacking, chess or Quidditch. Hopefully you are doing better at seeing your old friends.

Finally, I guess I better end this letter or I will just continue writing or ranting about life I suppose. I have proposed an idea of creating a family Grimiore for us and my future bond mates and possible descendants. So Daphne and I may be looking at charms and maybe we can make one when we visit you over the summer.

Love,

Harry Potter

P.s. Why is it so hard to think of approaching an eleven year old girl without it sounding creepy with a fifty year old mind. Anyways, with Dumbledore helping the 'ritual' we were working on it should hopefully be down around the end of the year.

As he sat down his quill as he reread his letter, Harry smiled as he really wanted to see Fleur again. Though having Daphne with him made it a bit easier as he had to wait.

'Off to visit Hedwig before hitting the books.' Harry thought as he placed his letter in an envelope. Smiling as he hummed a tune as he left for the owlery.