21: increases

~~Rose~~

Dearest journal of nightmares,

Today has already started to be a strange day. I woke up and was hoping warmth would still be beside me as if I knew someone was there, but I woke alone in my room. I still can't place why I felt so sad and disappointed.

Anyways, I went to find everyone else and no one was here. Like, WTF? A huge breakfast was left out on the table and I remember hearing a voice calling me, but I can't remember what it said. I longed to find it and I woke from my daze before entering Angel's room.

Then, Week and Maura found me. Maura came up to me and hugged my legs as the vision began.

It was blurry at first, but I could catch some images. I saw Razael, he was angry. He was sending a blast of power towards me and Maura. I shielded her with my body as she said one line.

"Mommy, I'm scared."

I looked up and saw Week and Angel jumping in front of us. Then the vision jumps. It's a grave of white I can't tell where or what name was on it.

Then it jumps to me still debating on the council before someone grabs my hand, as if wanting to console me and calm down my anger.

Then it goes to Mauraline crying in my arms.

It's blurry, but the images are clear. The underlying message is still unclear, but I think I have an idea of what's it's telling me.

It's telling me that {redacted} is going to die. And that {scratched out} is going to stay by my side.

Before I go, Nightmare Journal, there was another image.

I'm going to have another baby. It's going to be a baby boy. It's {ripped out} baby.

I'm going to live to see his silver eyes sparkle before me again.

I already know that I'm gonna love him.

His name will be {lol you thought I'd actually tell you that?}. Isn't that precious?

That's all for now, my journal. Talk next vision or nightmare?

Rose

~~~~~~~~

"Mommy, try this!" Maura squealed again and handed me what looked to be a concoction of soda water and milk. I took a pretend sip and smiled.

"Good job, baby. It's delicious!" I said. Maura beamed up at me and wandered off again.

"You and I both know those drinks are disgusting," a voice came from behind me, making me jump.

I spun to see Week there with a glass of water, which I snatched and drank greedily.

He chuckled and I felt like my heart may explode from the sound. "That's exactly what I thought, Rosie girl."

I glared and dumped whatever Maura gave me into the bush behind me.

"You know, you scared us both a bit ago. Why did I never know you had visions like your mother?" he asked, staring out at the garden. This blooming was partially my fault. Nothing stays dead around me anymore, so when my bare feet touched the dead grass, it became a brightly colored, lush garden. But let me tell you, the grass was now very soft.

"It's a new development, much like this," I replied, motioning around us. This old fountain I had found a seat on before Week had joined me was covered in thorny brush until I touched it, then the vines disappeared and the water had begun again.

Another heart stopping chuckle.

"Between you and Angel still learning your other side's powers, we're all gonna be losing our minds."

"Yeah, I guess so," I shrugged before my eyes found Maura again. She was playing with a water sprite that had appeared from the fountain when it went normal.

"What other powers have you found so far?"

"You know, Week, you don't have to do this," I said, snapping at his attempt at small talk. I looked at him and he seemed hurt and slightly offended by my tone.

"No, I don't have to, but I want to know how you've been-"

"That's just it, Week! Scream, cry, be angry! Show how angry you are that your mate and promised has been tainted and-"

"Why would I do that if none of this was your fault?" he asked, grabbing my hand and playing with my fingers. It was such a mindless thing to do, but it mean everything at the same time.

He was showing the small piece inside him I had never gotten to see, that I only knew about from his mother's stories.

His words hit me almost as hard as his actions.

"But-"

"No, Rose. The people who are behind this have nothing to do with you anymore. Hell, one of them is dead. You killed him for every moment he broke you down and tried to recreate you as someone and something you're not. Never conform, Rose, because it means a part of you is going missing. Never let him take away your fire," he spoke. He pulled himself away from my hand and went to stand and I finally saw the man his mother had seen.

He seems so tough, but he's really very breakable. He seems so cold, but he's really soft and loving. He seems evil and demanding, but he's kind and patient.

He started to walk away and I saw it. I saw the boy I remembered again, the one that saved me from my own death. The one who held me as I disappeared into a new existence. The one who was here now willing to wait and be patient with me to let me heal before he asks for more between us.

For a second, I wanted to call him back. I wanted to give him the more he wanted, but another part of me held back and the memories would flood back again. The pain would increase and the tears would flow and then I wouldn't be able to escape my own mind again.

I pulled my arm back that I hadn't realized I raised to stop him. For once, I almost welcomed the loneliness as I cried this time.

I cried for Week, who I had broken. I cried for Maura who was almost beyond repair, even by my healing. I cried for Angel who risked getting stuck in my mind to save me.

I cried for myself who may never be fully repaired again.

It didn't take long for Maura to find me and curl in my lap to comfort me.

I didn't leave my room the next day.