22: the burden.

~~Week~~

She's changed so much. Rose has changed.

She was so gentle and open to everyone before, now it's like she's just a shell of her former self.

I wanted to go into her room and comfort her quiet sobs from the ends of whatever was happening in her mind that she wouldn't let anyone else into. I leaned myself against the wall beside her door and waited. I waited for a sign she needed me there. That she wanted me there.

I heard her door open next to me and looked up at her. Her hair was a mess and her cheeks were tear stained.

"Week," she asked, her voice slightly hoarse. She bent down and grabbed my hand, tugging me towards her room. I stood and followed her inside, closing the door behind me.

I turned back to her and she ran into me, putting her hands on either side of my face and searching me for something.

She relaxed only for a second before tensing again, tears free falling again.

"Rose?" I asked her, wishing she could tell me what she was going through, but I also knew that trauma took a long time to get over.

She may not be in physical pain, but she was definitely in mental pain. She tried to hide it from me, but I knew that she was slowly sinking down into an ocean inside, barely scraping the surface. The same place I had fallen down to so much in my childhood. It was an unhealthy way to escape what I went through.

I had to save her from becoming anything like me.

I took the last step separating us and just held her to me. I knew forcing it out would make me no better than the rest of those people who had sought to hurt her.

"I can't-" she started before I pulled her a little tighter. "I can't keep going on like this!"

"I know, and I'm here. And I'll never leave you alone again, I promise."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Rose~~

Dear stupidity journal,

I think I started breaking the second Zayn began parading me in front of the other archangels. He knew how to push me until I started cracking, and I never understood how he did it.

I've been reanalyzing everything I went through and that is the point when I started to lose pieces of myself. He had begun to control and limit my contact with people, especially making sure no message could get through to my family that I was in danger.

The most dreaded day had taken place of the one that should have been my happiest: my wedding day.

In the weeks that lead up to it, I had little to no control over my actions and words. He could leash me in and control me from a distance.

The first thing that stupid ring bound was my powers. For the entire time, I was not allowed to release my magic without permission from Zayn, even then it was unlikely.

The second was my bonds outside of being with him. I think that's what haunted me the most was hearing the screams of Week and Maura in my head as I was ripped away from them.

The last was my free will and a new set of three bonds. The bond of a promised, which hurt him more than it hurt me. The bond of a soulmate, this one felt like getting a knife or a bullet to the heart. The bond of obedience, it's an uncommon one that was used in arranged marriages, one that kept them together until one died, but its other use is hardly known, the one to make someone submit to you wholeheartedly.

The side effects of that bond were excruciating. It was like twisting a blade in my gut. Every single time I disobeyed or I fought against Zayn or the bond, I felt pain.

It's still painful to relive all these memories, but I'm really trying here. I don't think I can write past that today, lest my emotions cause my magic to spiral out of control.

With all the hatred for you,

Rose

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke to Week beside me for the first time since I came here.

It was strange and foreign at first, but it just felt....right.

He looked way more relaxed than I had ever seen him before. His face was missing the lines that his emotions always made, his hair was messy and standing up in places.

Looking between us, there was a few pillows separating us. I smiled, for once a true smile. He had thought about me. He did this for me, creating a way to keep himself from holding me and hurting me more.

On instinct, I reached out to fix his messy hair. I watched his gasp and his eyes open as a bright green I had never seen his eyes become before now.

He stared at me for a few seconds before the red started to bleed through his irises.

"Rosie?" he asked as the red became the prominent color.

I hummed back and pulled my hand away from him, snuggling deeper into the blanket.

"I should probably-" he started, trying to get up. I reached out and grabbed his arm before the same emotions from the garden hit me, causing me to pull my had back as if I was burned.

"Rose?" he asked again, reaching out and grasping my hand. His eyes became the captivating green again, calming my nerves. "Rose, what's wrong?"

"I-" somehow, the words got caught in my throat.

"Rose, are you wanting me to stay?" he asked, tilting his head in an innocent way.

I tried to get the words through again, only for silence to come out.

Some kind of recognition flashed within his eyes and he stood up, holding a finger before leaving the room.

The loneliness didn't last long before he came back, his eyes still the shining green.

In his hands, he had a warn leather journal. I took it cautiously.

"I know Angel gave you an assignment to write down about what happened to you, this is where her inspiration came from. My mother gave me this when I was young. It was to write about what I was going through. If you ever wonder if anyone understands the pain," he paused and sat back down next to me, tucking a strand of stray hair behind my ear. "Then you can read it."

He smiled at me and laid back next to me for a bit more before telling me that he had a few things to get done today. He said that Angel and Maura would be in soon to come spend time with me.

For the first time in a while, the silence wasn't deafening nor drowning.

It was comforting.