CHAPTER 7

Ruby had sent me a long text to discourage me from getting suicidal thoughts. She swore that she was there for me and I should let her into my thoughts to see what she could do to help.

Her text was sweet, and somehow funny because I din't have suicidal thoughts. I wanted to live.

…

I hope you still remember Marchie, my next door neighbor. Apparently she developed a crush on my half-brother. She didn't know how to approach him and mistakenly (Or maybe purposely) invited him for a threesome. I guess she wanted him to find her bold, but instead he found her weird and avoided her as much as he could. That angered Marchie, but since she couldn't take out her anger on him, she took it out on me. She had started a rumor at the international students' office about me; something about me being so poor. In no time, almost all international students knew about me and how I was a parasite towards the rich students. 

I had made friends with this girl from Ghana, born and raised in the States. We were somehow good friends who shared a mutual interest in the show called GROW-NISH. Before my dining card was activated, she bought food for us two times. I once overheard her on a call with her family, and they were telling her to end our friendship since I was a leech. But she did no such thing. I guess she also needed a last straw. And that Marchie-made-up rumor was it for her. She ended our friendship. First by ghosting me, avoiding me, and finally ignoring me in broad daylight. 

I didn't know why at first. But I met this beautiful Ethiopian girl at church and became something like friends. She was the one who gave me the juicy news. Well, what could I say? Rumors spread and I cared less. My plate was full and flowing on the sides with all the shit that was already going on. I was okay being alone. No friends, no problems.

I had developed an interest in a senior guy I met at the aviation school. He was a chalk full of wit and charm. We had met each other coincidentally in a couple of places and we always smiled at each other. I could've confessed my feelings to him, but with what was going on, I couldn't afford love. I was also not my usual lively self, so I had nothing good to offer him.

He later transferred to another college in a different state, but that was before he confessed his feelings for me to my half brother. I had no idea that he liked me back. He had thought my half-brother was my boyfriend, so he approached him to ask.

When he found out the truth, he made it open to him that he liked me, and he's very tempted to make me his girlfriend. I always wondered why my half-brother didn't say a word about it until my guy transferred. My boy was like a flickering candlelight in that huge, dark tunnel I existed in. And now that light was gone. I didn't have his number or his social media. That hope was gone, just like his presence in my life. 

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