THE YELLOW LONDON

If evening falls in London after a bright sunny day, perhaps, in no other part of the world, can we find a more fascinating evening than this. It becomes even more attractive and charming if it is autumn season. It was also one of those beautiful London evenings. The sky had the redness of the evening twilight, while the earth seemed to be on fire with the red autumnal leaves. It appeared as if some painter had drawn a marvelous picture on the canvas with the help of red and yellow colours only. Kamran and I were strolling on the desolate road leading from the Hyde Park to the city. The road was covered on both sides with thick peepul trees, whose autumnal leaves were falling on our heads like flowers which are showered on a bridegroom on his marriage day. The severity of cold had compelled us to turn up the collars of our overcoats up to our necks. The heaps of snow on the roadside were slowly melting and falling with a low noise into the drains covered with iron grills. Quite indifferent to the severe cold, a couple was standing near an ice cream van, telling the ice cream seller to prepare cone ice creams of their choice. It is rightly said that ice cream tastes most delicious at the time of severe cold. In her dress, the girl herself looked like a colourful ice cream. The boy whispered something into her ears and both of them laughed loudly. As usual, Kamran made a bad face and condemned the mental level of all the beautiful young girls of London. The sun was setting in the distance and it seemed as if the road were taking us straight towards the ball of the setting sun. "Dear Medi, whatever may be the case, I'm apprehensive about the intentions of that Jewess. You've come here in search of peace. Give up your studies for a few days and I'll also take some days off. Let's go to Switzerland in search of new loves. What do you say to that?" I knew that Kamran wanted to set out in search of such new loves. "Mend your ways Mr. Kamran. One after another, three girls left you after remaining engaged to you for a whole year, only because of your own actions. Now, do you want to have double hattrick?" We had now reached near the large fountain in the square. In the middle of the fountain, there was a big iron lion which was emitting sprays of water instead of blood from its mouth. However, at that time, a few sprays of water had melted and assumed the form of thin snow bows. The last tram was about to leave. We ran towards that yellow tram having red lines on it and got into it. A gipsy woman wearing a long dress was also sitting in the tram with other passengers. Both she and Kamran laughed as they saw each other. In astonishment, I looked towards Kamran. "Do you know her?" "No. But it makes no difference. She knows me and that's why she is smiling while looking towards me." Then, the gipsy warmly stretched out her arms and advanced towards Kamran. Kamran was jubilant like a rose in full bloom and he too extended his hands. The gipsy passed between us and was soon locked in a warm embrace with a dirty looking Negro, who had long hair and was standing behind us. Kamran stood there with his outstretched arms and in the end, I had to embrace him. For a few moments, he stood still, in a mood of anger and amazement and then, both of us laughed heartily while the train was slowly heading for its destination. Some people consider love to be the purest emotion of life and are of the opinion that no other emotion can be purer than love. As a coincidence, neither I nor Kamran agreed to this theory and interestingly, we had quite different views about this matter. I considered hatred to be the world's purest emotion. There can be some defect or adulteration in love but hatred is always, real, genuine and intense. Kamran on the other hand regarded lust as the world's purest emotion. He was of the view that man is pure and truthful only in the case of lust, while he is dishonest somewhere or somehow in case of all other emotions. The fact is that whether it is love or hatred, infatuation or lust, they all seem to me four different sides of one and the same emotion. I had always regarded as hypocrites all those people who hate on the basis of love or those who hide their lust in order to prove the truth of their infatuation. Sometimes I thought that those who openly admit their feelings of lust, are the only brave and truthful people in the world. Perhaps, lust is the world's only eternal and lasting relationship and all of us are the product of one such relationship. Once again, before going to bed that night, Kamran advised me not to have any row with sir Isaac's daughter miss Sarah, because, since my childhood, he had been fully aware of one particular habit of mine. I could handle a situation only to a certain extent but whenever I began to be obsessed with that particular matter or situation, I became reckless and attempted to tackle it, regardless of my own benefit or loss. Kamran knew very well that I had come to London to get rid of the dark shadows of my past and, therefore, he did not want me to be entangled in any tense situation. But perhaps, at that moment, Nature was not in favour of Kamran's desires, because, the very next morning, the first person with whom I had an encounter was none other than miss Sarah. When I reached the university compound, I found Joseph standing at his favourite place on the bank of the stream, throwing grains for the birds. As he saw me from a distance, he began calling me with the motion of his hand. There was still some time left for the start of the period and I thought of spending some time in the company of Joseph. But as soon as I went up the bridge which joined both banks of the stream, Sarah also arrived there with the gang of her four friends. Her friends included two girls and two boys and all of them were the students of my class. As Sarah passed by me, she said a few words in Hebrew without knowing that the study of old languages had once been a field of special interest for me. As some people are fond of ticket collecting, stamp collecting and painting, in the same way, there was a time, when my only hobby was getting information about old languages of the world. I had inherited this hobby from my grandfather. Some rare books dealing with old languages could still be found in the library of the old Haveli. They included the copies of the Torah and the Psalms. I had read these books and felt no difficulty in understanding Sara's words. She had made some blasphemous remarks about my religion. Instead of English, she had used the Hebrew language, because, perhaps, her main intention was receiving praise from her friends, besides insulting me. I could also talk in Hebrew to some extent and, therefore, I replied her in Hebrew. "No religion allows its followers to use abusive language for any other religion. In fact, those who are abusing other religions, are abusing their own religion." On hearing me talking in Hebrew, Sarah was stunned and dumb founded for a moment. She could never have imagined that I would be able to understand her words and give a befitting reply in her own language. One of the boys from her group, who perhaps, did not understand Hebrew, hurriedly went to Sarah and asked her what I had said to her. Sarah was still standing silently and I began to walk forward. But in the meantime, the other boy came there and stood in my way. For a while, we stood there glaring at each other, without saying anything. Joseph who was observing the whole scene from a distance, understood the gravity of the situation. He at once started coming towards us. While he was still at some distance, he shouted, "Hi Hammad! Where are you? Come here at once. I've got some important things to discuss with you." Since Joseph was teaching at the same University, the boys thought it better to remain silent in his presence. I also removed the boy from my way and advanced towards Joseph. Sarah and her group also went in another direction. As Joseph looked towards me, he seemed worried. "What were they saying to you?" "Nothing. I didn't know that religious prejudice has spread even to such major universities after the 9-11 attacks." "You'd better have no dispute with these people. All of them are the children of high class aristocratic Jews. They may create any trouble for you at any moment." Soon, Joseph and I went to our favourite bench and sat there. A cluster of pigeons picked up the grains and flew away with a loud coo and they were replaced by some new ones. "I don't wish to have any quarrel with anyone here. But I don't know why they always cross my way. I wonder what wrong I've done to them." Joseph brought out some more grains from his brown paper envelope and tossed them in the air and began to speak. "I know you always mind your own business and you've never attempted to have any row with them. But these students regard this university as their estate and its students as their subjects and you are not behaving like their loyal and humble subjects." "What do you mean?" How can I behave like their loyal subjects?" "The fact is that there is a touch of dignity and pride in the way you behave, talk and walk. You don't seem to be bullied or brow beaten by anyone; and this is exactly what they dislike. How can they tolerate someone who stands with dignity and honour before them and who is not ready to be bullied by them?" I became angry. "But why should I be afraid of them or brow beaten by them? There must be some reason for it. I haven't come here on some charity scholarship. I've paid thousands of pounds as fee and passed the University's merit test. Perhaps, the amount of money which I pay as donation and fee is more than that of every other student at the University because, I've been granted admission on a special seat. Then, why should I be afraid of anyone?" "Your heavy fees and donations have silenced these Jewish businessmen. You're like a gold mine for them which they don't want to lose although you are a Muslim. If you don't mind, the fact is that the thing that has brought you to this university is not your ability but the bank statement attached to your application form." "But how did you come to know of all these things?" I asked him in utter astonishment. "Perhaps, you haven't considered the fact that there are only a small number of Muslim students at the University. Most of them are only so-called Muslims and have got so much mixed up with the followers of other religions that they have completely lost their own separate identity. But you look quite different from them. Another important point to remember is that while giving admission to a student, this university thoroughly scrutinizes his ancestral line. It may be that they didn't find any troublesome character in the list of your predecessors." I was startled and looked towards him in bewilderment. He might have uttered these words in a casual manner. But whatever he had said was absolutely correct. My grandfather and great grandfather had been extremely loyal to the British government which used to give them regular allowances for their loyalty. No rebel had ever been born in our previous seven generations. "I carefully looked towards Joseph. "But why are you telling me all these things? After all, you're also a part of the administration of this university. Why are you disclosing to me the secrets of the university administration?" Joseph smiled. "Sometimes I'm surprised to think that there's something in you that gives the impression that you're not a stranger to me. You look quite different from others because, perhaps, you loved somebody most intensely in your life and I've always held in high esteem all those people who love sincerely and intensely." A smile appeared on my lips. "It appears as if you also loved somebody in your life. But how can you say that I must have loved someone most intensely in my life? I may be even quite ignorant of the passion of love." "It's simply impossible. Your eyes can never tell a lie. Perhaps, you yourself are unaware of the numerous secrets and pains of love that lie hidden in the depths of these eyes. Love gives calm and composure to man. Outwardly, he may look calm and peaceful. But inwardly, he is extremely restless. You're also one such calm and peaceful sea which contains thousands of fierce storms." I took a long breath and realized that the secrets of my heart were becoming evident from my face. Where to go and how to hide the bits of the mirror of my broken heart? Joseph and I sat quietly for some time on the bench. There was some vibration in the air with the flowing of the water in the canal in front of us. All around us, there were the sounds of the pigeons and other birds picking up the grains of food. As the cold air struck against my eyes, I realized that my eyes had become wet. From the pocket of my coat, I took out the thick dark glasses and put them on. It is better for the secrets of the heart to remain inside the heart. But when they start flowing out from the eyes it is better to conceal them