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Get lemons, Make lemonades

Getting sent into naruto world as a waifu catalog contractor wasn't in max's plans. However when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and he's gonna get a lot of lemons.

handsomax · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
5 Chs

Chapter 1

'What happened?' I think as I open my eyes.

In front of me is a woman at a desk.

She is wearing a black suit and is working on some documents. Her eyes rise from the documents she was examining and as she takes in my looks she says.

"Finally you're here! I was getting really annoyed waiting for your ass to come!"

"What are you talking about? What is going on?"

I start to freak out, imagine waking up somewhere you never have been to and a lady starts talking to you like that. It doesn't feel like a dream, I am too lucid and in control for it to be the case.

"Short version you were lucky enough to create a character on our website at the exact moment we were looking for a contractor. As such, we took you from your reality and built your character according to the choices you made.

Now, do you have any questions while we wait for the tech department to finish setting up your company phone?"

"What! You guys seriously exist! That's so awesome! But wait please don't take this character, take another one! I only took things that would make a cool character not the most powerful!"

"Stop whining so much! you will still be reasonably powerful and if you're not stupid you can easily become the strongest in the world you choose. We also offer you the opportunity to use the 10 points you didn't use to roll the gacha without a limit on the tier."

'well she has a point, I can probably do it. But still, I would have chosen an easier world to start with if I knew it would come true. While Naruto is not the worse that could happen it still contains some seriously powerful guys. At least I have a gacha pull to get a companion to start with.'

"Ok, let's do it!"

She took out a little gacha machine from inside her desk drawer that was clearly too small to contain it. 'must be some kind of space fuckery'.

She inserted some coins that I guessed were my 10 points and she turned the handle, a small ball came out 'shit it is a 1 blue star that means I'll get a Tier 1, well at least with the perks I choose I can push it to tier 4, but still I am really unlucky'.

"Here is your companion I hope you will like it but either way you don't get to pull again."

She hands me the ball, I open it, and inside is a card with an image of a woman and the name 'Darcy lewis (MCU)'

"Well, at least she is a normal human I will have no problems shroud-binding her..." I tried to cheer up but it still sucks. As I was crying inside, the woman interrupt me by calling to me.

"Your device is just finished you should have received it"

And indeed I start seeing some icons appear in my vision, I can see all the apps I should have access to without needing a phone for that. 'It's a good thing I took the HUD perk, a phone would have been a bit out of context in naruto'

I can see all the perks I choose during my character creation.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

World: Naruto

Rating: 6 (365 credits)

Origin: Dropped-In

Binding(s): Shroud of Power (-80)

Lures: Sticky Fingers (-5), Potpourri (-20), Faerie Feast (-10)

Other Controls: Conjonction (-25), Apportation (-25)

Heritage: Death Mask (-100)

Home: Pocket Space (-5)

Talents: Body Tune-Up (free), Everlasting (free), Soul (free), Martial (-10)

Defenses: Body (free), Destiny (free), Information x2 (-50)

Misc: Mapper (-10), Exit Stage Left (-5)

Generic: HUD (you) (-10)

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Now that you have your powers everything on our end is finished, now it is time for you to do your part in this contract."

As she says that, My surroundings shift instantly from an office to a forest. I am now in a clearing. 'I am really glad I choose the mapper perk, I don't have the Wild talent so I don't know how to survive alone in the wild.'

I take a look at myself and I see I now have a long black leather coat similar to the one Neo has in the Matrix. I can feel a connection to it like it is another limb it feels really weird.

'Nice, I love this design but unfortunately, it is not the coolest cloak there is' As I am thinking that, I think about what I want my cloak to look like and it morphs to look like Alucard's red frock overcoat 'There it is, the coolest coat in existence'.

'Now that it is done, what should I name myself? I could go with my original name, but I don't want to be called max when everyone else clearly has japanese names. Since I am now in the naruto world, I think I will use the name of the author of this manga, Masashi Kishimoto. I will be the only one to get the joke but it is still funny.

I then start to look around me, and as I do, I notice a woman on the ground. She has long brown and is wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt the same color as her hair and black jeans. It is more or less her look from the wanda-vision serie. She is just lying on the ground and looks unconscious.

'Well might as well try the shroud-binding while she's out.' As I will it, my coat's sleeve extends and cover her while I infuse my will in her. After just a few seconds I feel a connection with her. After that my coat retracts and she now has a coat of her own around her.

While I wait for her to wake up I start to try and feel my chakra, after 30 minutes of nothing, I start to get annoyed and just stop it since I won't get any results.

after that, I telepathically order Darcy to wake up. As she does she looks around her and as she sees me she gets up. Her coat starts to morph to take the appearance of the clothes she had before and she just stands there looking at me.

"Darcy, do you know where we are and what is our goal?"

"Yes master, I was informed of it before coming here, we have to capture a maximum amount of targets in this world."

"Exactly, also now it is not a problem but when we are with other people that are not part of my retinue, please abstain from calling me master. It is better to use the local way to address each other to avoid any hint of suspicions, so just call me Kishimoto-sama and I'll call you lewis-san."

"As you wish master"

'Ok so everything is good, now I would love to have some fun with her but we are still in the middle of a forest and I don't want to spend the night here so it will have to wait.'

"Perfect. Now I will put you in my pocket dimension, I don't need you right now and I will be faster on my own. I will get you out when I am inside Konoha"

She looked amused at it and told me

"You're the first guys that asked me to get inside him, usually it's the other way around. And a pocket dimension is a funny way to call it."

I couldn't hold it and just laughed, while I was laughing, she said.

"Also I don't think it is a good idea to take me with you, It would be a better idea that both of us go on separate ways. This way if one of us encounters a bad situation, we can teleport to the other using your Apportation perk."

"Yeah you have a point, I don't think I'll be in too much danger but it's best to have a plan B."

As I say that I look at the map of the surroundings included in The Mapper perk.

'So we are near Konoha, might as well go there, it is a cesspool of potential companions after all.'

"I am going to go to Konoha to try and get some capture target, while I am doing this, you try to get close to any other target that you can find and contact me when it is done."

I then give her the direction to a town that is in the opposite direction, I also give her some of my money from the starting salary from the company, and we both part ways.

2 hour after

'Fuck! it took so long to reach the village and I wasn't even that far from it. In the anime, it looked so quick to get between two shinobi villages, but for normal people that can't use chakra to run super fast or jump from tree to tree it is different!' I thought as I watched the walls of Konoha in the distance.

After taking in the sight I resumed my walk toward Konoha.

Eventually, I got to the village's gate, even if it wasn't crowded, there were still some people walking in and out of the village, mostly merchants with a few shinobi guards. When we were near the gate, I noticed a ninja on the right side of it that was looking at the people and sometimes looked at a book he had in his hands, he also watched me but didn't stop me. 'Must be a bingo book' i thought.

I was just about to get into the village that hold so many capture targets. I could potentially take over the village in a few months if I play my cards right, I don't want to govern it but I would be the master of every powerful shinobi in it.

"Hey you there stop right now!" called one of the guards, I turned around to see who angered him. However, when I saw he was looking at me I started to freak out internally. 'Fuck what did I do to get their attention out of everyone here?'

I tried to calm myself, after all, while I have a huge potential, right now my only real power is my shroud, and it is not yet powerful enough to fight off or flee from Konoha. I then said

"Yes, what can I do for you guard-san?"

"You could probably tell us why you tried to sneak in with the civilians, that would be nice. You don't look like someone from Kumo, are you perhaps a spy from Iwa?"

While he said that, he started to come toward me, and the other peoples around us try to make some distance to avoid being dragged into whatever I did.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I am merely a traveler that wants to visit Konoha."

"Well aren't you glad then, you'll have a fantastic time sightseeing an interrogation cell, spy-chan"

He then reached me, and at this moment I noticed that his eyes were completely blank.

'OFC the first ninja I come across is a Hyuga, but what did he see to make him so suspicious? I know I can teleport out of this situation at any moment, but I would rather not become a fugitive in fire country soon.'

"Now if you could kindly come with me to the guard post, while we wait for the TI team to come and get you out of our hands, that would be appreciated."

I went with him, no use trying to flee. And said.

"Okay I will come but can you please tell me what I did to make you think I am a spy."

He smiled before answering.

"Ho I am sure you already know, but don't worry the interrogation will tell you what you did, and you'll tell him how you did it. Now shut up and just wait."

After just a few minutes, 2 ninjas came and took me to the TI building. After checking that I didn't have anything dangerous on me they put me in a classic interrogation room, made me sit in a chair, and cuffed me to the table, it looked like the classic scene in movies where 2 cops would then come and play "bad cop / good cop" to get me to answer. They made me wait for some time, probably to try and put me off. Tough luck guys, I can talk to darcy so I am not that bored.

So while I waited for someone to come I exchanged with her. She really is clever, her idea to separate already paid off, I am not worried about the interrogation at all. Also, she told me that she was currently traveling with some merchants after saving them from a bear attack. She is heading toward the fire capital to try and get in contact with the daimyo, that's a really good idea if she can do it, I would then be able to capture him and that would make me the leader of this country.

Anyway, while I was talking telepathically with her, the door to the room opened, and a man and a woman came in, I recognized them, the man is Inoichi Yamanaka, and the woman is Anko Mitarashi. 'They are quite high ranked if I remember correctly, that must mean that they are taking me very seriously.'

Anko started talking to Inoichi

"So that's the man that raised all those worries? Well at least he is nice to look at so this interrogation will be fun."

"Mitarashi-san can you please be a bit more serious, this is a big problem for the village if it is reproducible."

"Don't worry we'll find out how he did it quickly, honestly they had it coming after bragging that their eyes are all-seeing, now there is someone they can't see."

'Ha shit, it must be my information defense. I took it to be immune to cold reading so they will never know when I am lying. it is important in the world. I didn't think it would completely block the byakugan. Well, it looks like I won't be able to get out of this cell without teleporting', as I think that I warn Darcy that I will probably join her very soon.

After their playful exchange, they both got serious before Inoichi took out a clipboard and said.

"Ok, let's start with the formality, what's your name and where do you come from."

"My name is Masashi Kishimoto I come from a small village named riverside village in the land of fire, between the land of river and the land of waves."

"Very well, now that it is done, could tell us how you managed to block the vision of the Hyuga guard at the village gate? After that, we would also like to know what you wanted to hide so much as we didn't find anything on you except your clothes."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, I have nothing to hide and didn't do anything to hide."

"Are you sure about this? We assure you we have ways to get the true answer if you refuse to cooperate."

"Ho come on Inoichi! you can see he won't talk so just use your justu on him, with those chakra-sealing cuffs he won't even be able to resist."

"Yeah you are right I'll do it." he said with a sigh.

He then sat down on the chair in front of me with standing Anko on his right, before starting to go through some hand signs. Once he was done he pointed his hands at me and said

"Psycho mind Transmission"

He then fell unconscious but I didn't. 'thanks information defense'

Reacting immediately I turned the sleeves of my overcoat to blades to slice the cuff I was attached to, I then sent my coat after Anko who was caught off-guard as she didn't expect me to be immune to the Yamanaka's jutsu and also be able to attack her.

However, even though I got her off-guard, she is still a powerful chunnin, she managed to react and retrieve a kunai to try and slice the coat. Unfortunately for her, that was a really bad move as I turned the material of the coat to hard leather and made it wrap around her hand. She tried to pry it off, but it is too tightly wrapped so she doesn't manage to and it starts to climb up her arms to envelop her fully. However before it can even reach her shoulder, she disappeared, and in her place stood the chair I was sitting on just a second ago.

As I turn around, I feel a sharp pain in my throat. I just had time to see Anko rush toward Inoichi's inert body that my cloak is now covering before I fell to the ground and my vision started to darken.

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