39. Chapter 39

There was no reason to be in court. Carina was insistent.

And logically Maya knew she was right, but that didn’t stop her from waking up early, pulling on trousers and a blazer, and leaving the house despite her annoyed wife shooting her frustrated glances.

The evidence against Dawn Ferguson was insurmountable. Investigators had a paper trail detailing in excruciating detail everything from the plan to adopt Jamie and use her for tax benefits, to the arrangements surrounding her kidnapping.

Ferguson and her cronies had agreed to a plea deal. They’d be extradited to Florida and serve time there. When Carina heard, she’d smiled and cracked open a celebratory bottle of wine, declaring the incident over.

Maya didn’t feel the same way.

She’d promised Carina’s attacker that she’d see him destroyed. She’d looked him in the eye and sworn that his life was over and that she would have a hand in his slow demise.

And she needed to see that through. She wasn’t going to follow him to Florida, she wasn’t going to confront Dawn Ferguson, though she ached to do so. But she needed to be present, she needed to see the faces of the people had who tried to destroy her family. She needed to see them in handcuffs, she needed to hear their voices. She needed to know it was handled properly and completely.

But Carina adamantly disagreed. In her mind, she wanted to move on. She wanted to forget and face forward. The trial was a formality, a formality she felt was a step backwards on their path towards the future. And Maya’s inability to agree had them at odds with each other.

Maya hated fighting with Carina, she despised feeling anger or annoyance or frustration towards her wife, but she also wished that Carina could understand why she felt so strongly.

For Carina, her attacker was a boogeyman she never wanted to see again. Dawn Ferguson was a monster under the bed whose face she wanted to forget.

For Maya, Carina’s attacker was her sworn enemy, a sworn enemy she’d vowed to defeat. And this was the only way she could think to do it. And Dawn Ferguson…

Jamie’s screams still haunted her. Her red, terrified tiny face as Nancy carried her away. The idea that Jamie thought she’d been abandoned, that Maya and Carina had given her up. Maya couldn’t quite get over it.

She needed to be in court. She just wished Carina understood that too.

Dawn Ferguson, her common law husband Gerry Smith, and Carina’s attacker sat side by side at the front of the room next to their lawyer. All three were handcuffed. Ferguson’s roots were showing, steely grey leaching into jet black. From what little Maya could see, they looked pale and serious.

She hoped they were afraid.

She hoped they were as afraid as Jamie had been.

She hoped they hurt, that their body’s ached from hard beds and bad food.

“All rise for the Honourable Judge Matheson. Court is in session.”

Maya sat in the back of the room, but stood eagerly when the bailiff spoke. She watched as the judge quickly made his way to the bench and hoped this man would see the evil sitting before him and act appropriately.

Judge Matheson looked over a stack of paperwork, reading quickly, his face stoic, and Maya let herself seethe. She let herself imagine slowly walking to the front of the room. She wanted to see the fear in their eyes. She wanted them to be afraid of her.

She wanted them dead.

Which she knew was part of why Carina had been so against attending the trial. Maya realized that Carina recognized her fury, she recognized the look in Maya’s eye, and she wanted it to go away. She wanted Maya to move on too.

Maya wanted to hold onto her fury a little while longer.

“I understand your clients wish to enter a plea,” the judge spoke, and Maya leaned forward, willing him to do the right thing.

The defense attorney nodded. “Yes, your honour.”

The judge cleared his throat, eyeing the paperwork again.

“Dawn Ferguson,” he said, “you have been charged with custodial interference in the first degree and criminal attempt. How do you plead?”

“Guilty, your honour,” came the soft response in a voice damaged by years of cigarettes.

“You understand that by pleading guilty you wave your right to a jury trial?”

“Yes, your honour.”

The judge nodded. Dawn Ferguson sat down.

“Gerald Smith,” the judge continued, “you have been charged with custodial interference in the first degree and criminal attempt. How do you plead?”

“Guilty,” Smith’s voice was higher than expected. He looked bloated, as if he’d subsisted on nothing but salt and alcohol throughout his life. Maya could only see the side of his head, but she memorized it. The close shave. The round shoulders.

She couldn’t stop imagining Jamie with these people. She understood that Nancy had been there, but Jamie had shared space with them, had breathed the same air as them.

It made Maya shudder. More so, it made Maya want to hold her baby forever and ever and never let her go.

“Leonard Wayne,” the judge said and Maya found herself staring at the man who’d try to kill Carina. His hair was still greasy and slicked back, but without the leather jacket, Maya realized how thin he was. Thin and muscular. She wondered if he was still bruised from Travis and Jack. The idea brought a small smile to her face.

And maybe that was monstrous. Maybe Maya’s joy in Wayne’s potential suffering made her just as bad as him. Maybe Carina could see it too…

“You have been charged with custodial interference in the first degree, criminal attempt, and assault in the second degree. How do you plead?”

There was a pause, a pause that seemed to take hours, but then that horrible voice Maya wished she could forget emerged.

“Guilty, your honour.”

Maya exhaled in relief.

The judge made a few notes, and then looked up again, his scowl unmistakable, even from the back of the room.

“As part of your plea deal, you will be extradited to Florida and serve your sentences there,” the Judge said, “and I must say, I find this case particularly disturbing. To so flippantly treat an infant as you have, I fear for what would have become of her if not for the diligence of her social worker and soon-to-be adoptive parents. But to then so brazenly conspire against her guardians…you are undeserving of leniency. Or mercy. Dawn Ferguson, on the charge of custodial interference I sentence you to five years in state prison. On the charge of criminal attempt, I sentence you to twenty-five years in state prison. Gerald Smith. On the charge of custodial interference…”

Maya sat silently and watched as the judge handed down each sentence. She knew the justice system was corrupt. She knew it was broken.

But when the judge sentenced Leonard Wayne to forty years in prison, Maya wanted to stand up and cheer. There was always the chance that they would get out earlier, that some lawyer in Florida would find a way to overturn the judge’s ruling.

In the moment, however, Maya felt like she could breathe again. There were restraining orders to renegotiate and arrange and Maya vowed to keep track of all three felons standing at the front of the room for the rest of their lives. But for now, she was free. For now, she could go back to her family and guarantee their safety. She could hold Jamie and make good on her promise to protect her always.

And she could look at Carina, at the small scar below her jaw, and swear that no harm would come to her. Not as long as Maya had breath in her lungs.

She slipped out of the court room just as the judge hit the final gavel, the sound an echoing chorus as she stepped into the rainy fall morning.

~*~

A hospital was a depressing place to find an “I’m sorry” gift. There was also the fact that Maya didn’t feel the need to apologize.

Still, as she walked into Grey-Sloan, she wracked her brain for some sort of peace-offering. Carina DeLuca wasn’t necessarily a flowers and chocolates kind of girl, though she seemed always charmed when Maya brought her roses or truffles or other small gifts just because.

Maya paused in the lobby, debating a stop in the cafeteria to bring Carina a coffee, but ultimately, she decided to go confer with someone who would know exactly what to do. She skipped the gift shop and the florists and took the elevator to the second floor, anticipation quickening her steps.

The daycare was bright and airy, decorated with paintings that looked like the Jungle Book and a first-year fine arts class had birthed an awkward baby. Maya recognized Meredith’s youngest, Ellis, sitting at a table drawing and Scout appeared to be present too, playing with blocks on the floor. While Jamie was starting to sit up on her own, often with a small assist from one of her mom’s, Maya knew she’d likely be in the back, sleeping in a crib, not yet ready to join the more rambunctious toddlers in the group.

She signed in, greeting the ever-smiling daycare worker, and then followed her into another room where five cribs sat pushed against a wall. Another daycare worker stood from a rocking chair and pointed to the corner.

“She’s just waking from her nap,” the woman said, offering Maya a friendly grin.

Maya nodded and sure enough, when she leaned over the crib, she found Jamie yawning. Jamie stretched her tiny arms and legs and then unceremoniously turned onto her stomach, a brand-new skill that always made Carina laugh because the baby had yet to figure out how to flip onto her back again. As expected, Jamie started whimpering, which made Maya stifle her own laughter.

“Hi Baby T,” Maya said, biting her lip when Jamie swiveled her head, looking over her shoulder. The whimpering was quickly replaced with babble as Jamie’s tiny lips spread into a happy, drooly grin.

Jamie needed a diaper change and Maya took the opportunity to let her mind drift back to Carina, back to court earlier in the morning. She looked down at Jamie who was staring right at her, watching as Maya replaced her diaper and taped down the new flaps.

“Mama is not very happy with me,” Maya lifted Jamie from the changing table and cradled her for a minute, “but I don’t think I can back down on this one, Jamie. It’s about keeping you safe and keeping Mama safe and that’s my job.”

The sight of the tiny scar on Jamie’s ribs gave Maya pause. It was barely visible and would likely fade completely, but the memory of all Jamie had been through only made her feel more certain about her decision. She raised Jamie just enough to press a soft kiss against the tiny, crescent moon line that marked where Addison Montgomery had fixed Jamie’s heart.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” she said, rocking Jamie back and forth, listening to her tiny giggles, “we’re going to go to Mama’s office and you’re going to be especially cute, which shouldn’t be hard because you get cuter every second. And I’m going to be especially cute too, which is way more difficult. And then you’re going to give Mama a bunch of kisses and if I’m lucky she’s going to let me give her a bunch of kisses too…”

Jamie huffed, and Maya nodded back. “You’re right. The kisses might not work. But all we can do is try, right?”

She looked into Jamie’s big blue eyes, distracted by her baby’s perfect face. And then Jamie kicked her legs, and wiggled her tiny body, and Maya got the message loud and clear.

“Understood, Probie. Let’s go see, Mama.”

~*~

X Rays illuminated the room in blue light, but Carina found it hard to concentrate.

She was surrounded by image after image of pelvises. CT scans and MRIs. In the middle of the room, Meredith Grey stood over yet another X Ray, squinting as she spoke.

“If we can replicate the last procedure, this may change standard treatment for cervical cancers around the world,” she said, excitement clear in her voice though her face remained stoic.

Carina forced herself to listen. “Hmm. Yes, we will need to run a clinical trial, of course. And Bailey will need to approve the new scope.”

Meredith nodded, returning to the X Ray in her hand and despite Carina’s enthusiasm for their project, her mind drifted to her morning.

To Maya.

It’s not that Carina didn’t understand Maya’s point of view. She did. She really did. But every single part of her was done with Dawn Ferguson and Florida and nightmares. Going to court would have felt like an added torture, an unneeded exposure to further evil. And Maya’s insistence was worrisome because Carina knew it came from a place of anger. Of fear, as well, but also of anger and that scared Carina more than anything.

Maya was not a violent person. She’d worked so hard on her temper, so hard on recognizing her triggers and her reactions. And Carina was terrified that Maya would revert back into an angry, cold version of herself.

Logically she knew her wife was no longer the person who yelled in defense of her father, who lashed out when cornered. She trusted Maya more than she’d trusted anyone in her entire life.

She just couldn’t see what good could possibly come from being in the same room as the people who had tried to destroy their family. Seeing their faces? Hearing their voices? Carina didn’t want Maya to internalize that trauma. She didn’t want Maya’s anger to ignite.

Her thoughts stayed with Maya long after her meeting with Meredith finished. She found herself slowly wandering back to her office, distracted, bothered by her tense morning and the fact that they hadn’t said I love you upon parting.

They always said I love you.

But Carina had been late for work and Maya wanted to be in court on time and Jamie was crying and…

They hadn’t said I love you.

As Carina approached her office, she found herself confused by the sound of Jamie’s tears. She’d most definitely left Jamie at daycare hours before, but if Jamie was in her office that meant a certain someone was with her too.

Carina opened the door, expecting to find her wife and daughter sitting on the couch. Instead, Maya was lying on her back on the floor with Jamie next to her, only Jamie was on her stomach. The baby cried and waved her arms, but instead of comforting her, Maya laughed. Carina did too.

“Jamie, you can just roll over,” Maya said, sitting up and carefully flipping Jamie over.

The crying stopped and Jamie looked at Maya with her usual drooly smile. It was only then that Maya made eye contact, and Carina cursed her wife and her stupidly beautiful eyes.

“Don’t do that,” Carina said, raising one finger and taking a step back.

Maya stood with Jamie in her arms, frowning in confusion. “Do what?”

“Make that face.”

“What face?”

Carina pointed at Maya, gesturing widely. It didn’t help that Jamie was staring at her too. Her girls with their expressive blue eyes and cute button noses and…

“Ugh…that face! I am mad at you,” Carina growled, her frustration growing.

“But this is my face, Carina. I can’t not make this face.”

Carina growled again and turned, both hands on her hips, as she began to pace the room. She heard shuffling behind her, but refused to stop moving until a familiar hand squeezed her shoulder, forcing her to stop.

“Carina…” Maya sounded slightly exasperated, which only made Carina’s annoyance worse. But that annoyingly beautiful face was cracking her ability to stay upset. She was starting to forget why she was upset in the first place.

Until she caught sight of Jamie lying on her playmat.

They had so much to lose. So much was at risk.

Carina sighed and finally paused her movement, her eyes finding Maya’s.

“Is it done?” She asked, terse.

Maya nodded. “They’re being extradited to Florida. I don’t think we can ever take Jamie to Disney World.”

“Disneyland Paris will be fine,” Carina said, her mind already drifting to Chanel.

“Not Disneyland California?”

Maya released Carina’s shoulder, but stayed close, which made it difficult to resist reaching out for her. But Carina did resist. She studied Maya’s face, searching for anger, for ice. She found none.

With another heavy sigh Carina took Maya’s hand and squeezed.

“Can we talk?” She asked, nodding her head towards the couch.

Maya squeezed back, a clear yes if there ever was one.

They settled on the cushions, content to watch Jamie try to eat her own hand, and then Carina turned, finally ready to speak.

“We need to move on, Bambina,” she said, voicing what she’d said in the morning but making an effort to stay calm.

“We are.”

“Will you follow the case to Florida?”

Maya tipped her head down, but Carina could see the scowl across her features. She exhaled, looking at Jamie before finding Carina’s gaze again.

“Yes. Not constantly. But if there are parole hearings…the sentences might not be as long as we want. If they’re released early, we need to know, Carina. It’s about safety.”

It made sense. It had made sense in the morning too. But Carina still worried.

“You did not sleep last night,” she said quietly, “or the night before. I heard you leave for a run at four in the morning, Maya.”

“I’ll sleep tonight.”

“Maya…”

Jamie flipped onto her stomach again and after a few seconds of waving her arms, she started crying, still not quite ready to roll over by herself. Maya quickly scooped her up from the floor and cradled her, her fingers tracing the line of Jamie’s cheek.

“I’m not going to go to Florida. I’m not going to check every day. But we have restraining orders against three people. Four if you count Jamie’s bio father. I can’t just let that go,” Maya explained, holding Jamie close to her chest.

Underneath it all, Carina knew that Maya partially blamed herself for the attack. That she wasn’t faster. That Carina was hurt at all. She knew that Maya’s hyper-vigilance and insomnia were a product of her guilt, of that over-active mind playing the event repeatedly.

“I think we should speak to your Dr. Lewis,” Carina said, bracing as Maya looked up with a start, her jaw twitching.

“I don’t want to.”

“Maya,” Carina sighed, “I am not going to stop you from speaking to the lawyers. I understand why you need to. But we need to heal too, Maya.”

“You’re the one who was hurt.”

“No. We were hurt. All three of us, Bambina. I do not want you to live with this anger. This fear.”

Carina could tell Maya was struggling with herself, cycling through anger and acceptance and stubbornness over and over again. She took a risk, stroking her fingers up Maya’s arm until she reached her face. When Maya leaned into her palm, Carina smiled to herself. Her wife was impossible and courageous and heartbreakingly sweet and Carina wanted to kiss her just as much as she wanted to shake her.

“Can I think about it?” Maya’s voice was low, but Carina took it as a victory.

“Of course, Maya.”

“Okay.”

Maya watched Jamie for a minute before the baby decided that she’d had enough quiet time and tipped her head back, staring up at Carina with her gummy smile. She reached up for her, releasing a “ba ba ba,” and Carina nodded along, taking Jamie from Maya’s arms and holding her in front of her face.

“That is very interesting, Jamie,” Carina said, biting her lip when Jamie continued her baby babbles.

“I’ll take her back down before I go, I just wanted to see her. And you,” Maya spoke quietly, tickling the bottom of Jamie’s foot.

Carina shook her head, bringing Jamie to her shoulder where Jamie’s tiny fingers quickly found the necklace she was wearing.

“It’s okay,” she said, “I have the afternoon booked off for research. Dr. Jamie can stay right here.”

“That going well?” Maya leaned back into the couch cushions, still a little pensive.

“It is strange working with Meredith. Before we only really spoke to each other about Andrea.”

Carina was no stranger to research. She’d built her reputation on her orgasm study. But watching Meredith Grey’s genius alongside her impressive clout in the medical world was somewhat shocking. Carina had basically had to beg for people to support her work. Meredith made one phone call and suddenly a multi-million-dollar grant was theirs.

“I love your big brain,” Maya said, propping her head up with one hand. The statement surprised Carina. She’d expected a broody wife. Not compliments.

“Oh?”

“I love all of you, Carina.”

Maya knew they’d forgotten to say it that morning. She knew. She understood why it was so important and how much it bothered Carina that they’d skipped it. Knowing it bothered Maya too made Carina’s chest feel tight.

“And I love all of you, Bambina.”

Maya moved closer on the couch just as Carina leaned back. They sat side by side, Maya’s arm around Carina’s shoulders, and much of the morning’s tension dissipated.

“Last 48-hour shift at 19,” Maya said, exhaling sharply as she did.

Carina set her free hand on Maya’s thigh, Maya’s wish to see Jamie in the middle of the day making all the more sense.

“You will be careful, yes?”

Maya nodded. “I used to love 48-hour shifts.”

“And now?” Carina watched Maya search Jamie’s face. She watched Maya trace the line of Jamie’s button nose with her fingertip.

“Now? Well Jamie misses me, so it’s hard.”

“Ah, yes, Jamie misses you.”

At the sound of her name Jamie turned her face towards Maya, giggling as Maya lightly tickled her belly.

“You’ll Facetime before putting her to sleep?” Maya blushed a little as she spoke, bashful.

“Sì. If you’re not on a call.”

Maya nodded once, her eyes suddenly laser focused on Carina with an intensity that could still sometimes be shocking.

“I really do love you, Carina.”

Carina tangled her hand in Maya’s hair, bringing her a little closer. “I know you do. I love you too.”

“Well, at least we’ve cleared that up,” Maya smiled into their kiss, and Carina smiled along with her.

A stolen reprieve from a fast-moving world.

~*~

“Carina, she can’t wear Versace!”

Maya could not believe the words coming out of her mouth, nor could she believe her wife would even suggest such a thing. She didn’t want the court thinking that they were raising a snobby baby.

“Why not? I am?” Carina shrugged and Maya eyed her blouse suspiciously. It likely cost more than Maya’s entire wardrobe combined.

“Can we compromise? That little dress my mom bought her?”

Carina grumbled. “Fine. The Prada shoes?”

“Why does our baby own Prada anything?”

The answer was Gabriella. Always Gabriella. Though Maya couldn’t be mad at Carina’s endlessly annoying best friend. She knew how much her support meant to Carina, even if her support came in the form of couture for their eight-month-old.

It was an unusually frantic morning. They were both used to rushing out the door, breakfast barely in hand, but today their hurried movements and frazzled voices had nothing to do with their jobs.

They’d received a call from Simon Gillespie the day before. It came out of nowhere. It was not expected. But the judge had decided to push up Jamie’s adoption date. Instead of waiting until Christmas, the DeLuca-Bishop’s were going to be an official family much closer to Halloween.

Which is why Maya was running around without pants on and only half of Carina’s hair was styled and Jamie was rocking a diaper and nothing else. Though Jamie seemed to be the only calm person in the group.

Maya opened Jamie’s closet, slightly horrified to see how many clothes her baby owned, but she decided to have that discussion with her wife on another day and instead plucked a little white dress from one of the hangars.

She stared at it, taking in the frilly hem and shoulders and frowned.

“What if she doesn’t want to wear this?” Maya called, her head tilted in thought.

Carina appeared in the nursery, her hair slightly more tamed than minutes before.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“What if Jamie doesn’t like dresses? What if we’re forcing gender conformity on her? What if this causes dysphoria and…”

“Bambina, dio mio you need to stop reading child development books about teenagers! She’s a baby!”

“I like to be prepared, Carina!”

“Why are we fighting?”

Maya snorted and shrugged, her laughter becoming louder as Carina paused and started laughing too.

The noise startled Jamie who let out a loud squawk, clearly unimpressed that her mom’s had left her half-naked on the changing table.

“Sorry, J,” Maya said, still wheezing. She managed to wrestle Jamie into her little dress and once it was on, even Maya had to admit that it was very cute.

With Jamie appropriately attired, Maya picked her up and dashed into the bedroom, eager to find a suitable pair of pants. She lay Jamie down in the middle of the bed and then started digging through her drawers, trying to remember where she’d placed the trousers that matched her blazer. It was so rare that she had an opportunity to wear something other than her SFD uniform, that she could barely recall the last time she’d worn the suit.

Carina reappeared from the washroom, hair perfectly in its place, and somehow managed to look extremely put together. She sat down on the bed, getting to work on Jamie’s shoes and dealing with the baby’s wispy brown hair.

Once Maya found what she was looking for, she dressed quickly, and was about to run out the door when Carina frowned at her.

“What?” Maya asked, looking down at her clothes.

“Bambina, what are you wearing?”

“What do you mean?” Maya had no idea what part of her outfit had Carina displeased. Carina rarely commented on Maya’s style. If anything, she seemed especially appreciative of Maya’s collection of Henley’s and oversized hoodies.

“You’re wearing a sweater. Under a blazer.”

“Uh…yeah?”

“No,” Carina said, standing and disappearing into the closet.

When she emerged, she was holding three dress shirts, which she held up in front of her. She squinted, her eyes darting from Maya to the shirts and back again, and then she unceremoniously tossed something white at Maya, hanger and all.

“Hey!” Maya yelped, but Carina was already on the move, silencing her with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Andiamo, Bambine!”

Maya was left staring at Jamie who looked up at her with equally curious blue eyes. She leaned over the bed, reaching out to bop Jamie on the nose.

“If you want out of that dress, you just blink twice, okay?”

Jamie huffed before flipping onto her stomach. Her tears started seconds later and all Maya could do was laugh again, as she chose to embrace the chaos of the day.

Because she knew without a doubt that it was going to be the best day of her life.

~*~

The courtroom was bordering on celebratory. Unlike their earlier experiences, the room was packed with smiling, excited faces.

Maya peeked over her shoulder, overwhelmed by the large group sitting behind her. They were all here for Jamie. For their little family. All of them.

19 took up most of the space. Jack and Andy sat next to each other. Vic and Theo were there too with Travis close by. Maya recognized some of Station 23’s former crew. Captain Dale and half of District Six was present. On the other side of the room, Grey-Sloan had showed up too. Bailey and Ben sat next to each other. Amelia and Kai waved, as did Teddy who had Alison on her lap. Jo was shooshing Luna and somehow Scout had climbed over one of the benches.

Even Meredith Grey was present, a fact Maya knew would mean a great deal to Carina. As research partners, they were starting to cause quite the stir – at least that’s what Maya inferred from the late-night meetings she overheard and Carina’s excitement over their latest project. There was also the fact that Meredith had loved Andrew at one time and that mutual understanding had forged a quiet bond between the two women. Meredith had brought Zola who was also an adopted child, and Maya knew without a doubt that Meredith Grey understood exactly how hard they’d worked to make it to this day. She understood the joy and the pain and hope and the beauty.

Maya was glad for it. Carina had so little support from her family. Her father was less than enthused about their marriage and her cousins were rarely in contact. Gabriella was almost the only person left from Carina’s past who remained a constant figure in her life.

But the person in the courtroom who caused a tightening in Maya’s chest was Katherine, sitting front and centre, directly behind Carina. She was already teary-eyed, but so happy. Happier than Maya had ever seen her.

It felt like Jamie had given her a chance to have a mother again. Like somehow by becoming a mother herself, Maya and Katherine found the common ground so cruelly stolen from them by Lane.

There were missing faces too. Faces Maya longed for.

Sometimes late at night she’d let her mind drift and think about what life would be like with Mason present. He’d teach Jamie to paint – she could just imagine tiny fingers stained with blues and reds and pinks and Mason’s kind smile.

More than anything though, she wished Andrew DeLuca was alive. And Lucia.

Carina wasn’t alone. Maya would never allow that to happen. But she knew her wife had longings too. For her beloved Andrea. For her mama. Maya would catch her showing Jamie their pictures, whispering quietly in Italian, words laced with such obvious sorrow that Maya’s heart ached as if Carina had reached inside her chest and squeezed.

Except there was no sadness on Carina’s face as she stood next to Maya in the courtroom. She was beaming, her eyes already teary though they were happy tears.

Jamie seemed less enthused as she gazed out over Carina’s shoulder, her tiny features pinched as she suspiciously eyed all the people staring back at her. When she caught sight of Katherine, she reached out with one chubby hand, and Katherine leaned forward, taking the offered fingers.

How was any of this real?

How had Maya gone from a cold, unfeeling narcissist to a person surrounded by love?

“All rise for the honourable Judge Quinn.”

The bailiff’s voice startled Maya and an excited buzz filled the room. When Carina stood, Jamie frowned, turning her face towards the judge, clearly displeased to be separated from her grandmother.

It felt like everything was happening in slow motion. The judge entered the court and then sat down, her long black sleeves billowing as she organized papers and hit her gavel, the sound making Jamie startle until Carina rubbed her back, cooing softly.

Simon Gillespie shot Maya a quick thumb’s up as they waited for the judge to speak.

Finally, Judge Quinn settled, a kind smile on her face.

“I must say, this is a very fully room,” she laughed before turning her attention to Simon.

“As you all likely know,” she continued, “we are here today to finalize the adoption of baby Jane Doe, henceforth to be known as Jamie Katherine DeLuca-Bishop.”

Maya heard her mother gasp, but couldn’t turn around. She knew it would come as a surprise, it had come as a surprise to her too, but it felt right, though the decision had been somewhat agonizing.

“But what does she look like?”

Jamie lay in her car seat, perched on the coffee table as Maya and Carina stared back at her from their place on the couch. They exchanged a glass of wine between them, looking at their baby, studying her though Jamie was fast asleep and completely unaware that her mothers were making a very big decision on her behalf.

Maya’s question lingered in the air. Jamie looked like a Jamie. And the DeLuca-Bishop part was obvious. But a middle name…

“Do you want to name her after Andrew?” Maya asked cautiously, unsure how Carina felt about using her brother’s name in that way.

Carina shifted on the couch, her expression troubled. After a moment she shook her head and turned her face towards Maya.

“I don’t think I’m ready for that,” she said, her tone apologetic, which made Maya gently take her hand.

“You never have to be ready for that if you don’t want to be, Carina. So, should we think of something new instead? Or…”

“My middle name is Lucia,” Carina said, “so we can’t use Lucia.”

Maya grimaced. “And my middle name is Lane, so…”

This time it was Carina who squeezed Maya’s hand. “What about Katherine?”

Maya’s gut instinct was an immediate no. Her relationship with her mother was fractured. True, it was healing, but there was so much scar tissue, so many negative memories.

Except Katherine was one of Jamie’s favourite people, which was saying a lot because Jamie was anxious around anyone who wasn’t Maya or Carina. She loved her gran though, it was so obvious every time they were together.

And Katherine deserved a fresh start too, didn’t she?

Lane had given Maya his name. Mason’s middle name was Edward, after Lane’s father. He’d erased Katherine just like he always erased her.

They looked at Jamie, considering her, taking her in, and then Maya took a deep breath.

“Jamie Katherine DeLuca-Bishop,” she said, trying the name out loud.

Just like the night of Jamie’s birth, something clicked into place. The name was not just a random name, it was Jamie’s name. Every piece of it belonged to her.

The decision was made.

“Mr. Gillespie, if you could have your clients step forward and state their full names for the record,” the judge said, her smile infectious.

Simon motioned to the microphones on the table and Carina and Maya both exhaled at the same time, laughing nervously.

“Carina Lucia DeLuca,” Carina said, her voice somewhat muffled as Jamie decided to take that moment to tap her tiny palm against Carina’s lips. Maya reached to take Jamie’s hand, trying to hold her still.

When it was her turn, she couldn’t keep the happiness from her voice. “Maya Lane Bishop.”

The judge nodded. “Mr. Gillespie, please proceed.”

“Thank you, your honour,” Simon gathered his papers and cleared his throat. “As you have likely gleaned from the extensive paperwork in this case, today’s adoption hearing is somewhat unorthodox. The women standing before you today have quite literally risked life and limb for the baby in their arms and it is my opinion, and the opinion of numerous childcare specialists, social workers, and physicians, that no two people are better suited to adopt this child.”

Jamie propped herself up on Carina’s shoulder, listening intently, and while Maya very much wanted to pay attention to Simon, Jamie’s thoughtful, tiny face was distracting. She knew Jamie didn’t understand a word, but she so loved catching her baby in these moments. She loved watching Jamie learn.

About the world around her.

About sounds.

About words.

She held in a sigh and forced herself to focus.

“Dr. DeLuca and Captain Bishop are both first responders, which is exactly what they were doing on the night Jamie was born,” Simon continued. “They have been her protectors far before any legal guardianship was put in place. Their home is safe, it is loving, financially, psychologically, and physically, Jamie will be cared for. They have gone above and beyond, at great risk to their own safety and wellbeing, to see this day, your honour. And while today is a formality, I would argue that Dr. DeLuca and Captain Bishop have been Jamie’s parents from the day of her birth. They have guided her through a premature birth, a long stay in the NICU, surgery, an attempted kidnapping. To be a parent has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with the selflessness of love. And this is no hyperbole, but never in all my years of doing this work have I met two more selfless people. Which is why I am honoured to recommend that the adoption of Jamie Katherine DeLuca-Bishop proceed.”

The courtroom burst into cheers, the uncharacteristic behaviour so surprising that for a moment the judge seemed frozen in place, her eyebrows hovering close to her hairline. Jamie seemed startled too, but she looked over Carina’s shoulder and then at Maya and then she smiled that big Jamie smile and started clapping.

Carina was in tears, Maya felt like her heart was about to burst, and even when the judge lightly banged her gavel, Jamie’s smile remained.

“I’ll remind the court to hold their applause until the end, though if you would like to take pictures, now is the time” the judge said, her words stern but friendly. Maya had asked Vic to be their unofficial photographer for the day, and she took the opportunity to nearly prance to the front of the room.

The judge shifted her focus back to Maya and Carina. “Dr. DeLuca, Captain Bishop, do you intend to provide Jamie with a safe and loving home?”

Carina and Maya leaned forward at the same time, almost bumping foreheads.

“We do,” they said in unison, though between Carina’s sniffles and Maya’s tight chest, their words came out slightly warbled.

“Do you intend to provide Jamie with an education? Do you intend to see that her psychological, emotional, and physical health are cared for?”

“We do.”

“Do you intend to love her even when she’s a surly teenager trying to steal your car keys?”

Jamie leaned over in Carina’s arms, making a grab for Maya’s hair.

“We do,” Maya said, laughing as she caught Jamie who was no longer interested in the strange lady speaking and much more interested in her mommy’s nose. With her free arm, Maya circled Carina’s waist, holding her close.

This was it. This was the moment. Carina hadn’t stopped crying and Maya felt tears pouring down her cheeks, as well, though her smile was blinding.

“I have carefully reviewed the paperwork provided by your attorney and your appointed social worker,” the judge said, “I can see their recommendations. In addition, the parental rights of Jamie’s biological father have been legally terminated. And it is, therefore, my privilege to approve your petition for the adoption of Jamie Katherine DeLuca-Bishop. Now, moms, if you’ll step forward and sign on the dotted line, we can make things official.”

The cheers started again, though this time the judge didn’t stop them. Maya felt buzzed, as if she’d taken six shots in short succession and was now trying to walk in a straight line. She watched Carina sign her name, the memory of Carina signing Jamie out of the NICU flashing back. And then it was her turn.

Maya Lane Bishop

Right next to Carina Lucia DeLuca

Exactly where she always wanted to be.

Seconds. It took seconds. But those seconds meant that Jamie was theirs forever. That no one could take her. That their family was safe.

That Maya got to be Jamie’s mom.

Amongst the happy cheers and laughter, Maya and Carina huddled close, Carina’s arms wrapped around Maya’s body as they held Jamie between them.

All the pain. The fear. The unknown.

It was gone. Eviscerated.

Jamie curled her hand into Maya’s shirt, but she leaned forward just enough to rest her head on Carina’s shoulder.

“Carina?” Maya spoke softly, she didn’t want to share the moment with anyone but her wife and her daughter even though they were in a room full of people.

“Hmm?”

Maya knew her pronunciation would be off. She knew it might even sound ridiculous, but she didn’t care.

“Ti amo tanto. Per sempre,” she said, smiling when Carina’s hand found the back of her neck.

There was a cake waiting for them. Balloons and presents and excited friends.

But it could all wait.

Because Maya needed to take one more moment to feel Carina’s fingertips slide into her hair. To feel the comforting weight of Jamie in her arms.

To feel the joy.

~*~

When Andrea was born, Carina had run outside and splashed in the puddles doting Nona’s front yard. She remembered her excitement. Her pure happiness to meet her fratellino.

When Carina had married Maya, she’d watched her soon-to-be-wife’s teary, perfect face as they’d said I do and felt so much love that she almost needed to sit down. It had almost robbed her of her ability to breathe. The happiness had been unlike anything she’d ever experienced.

But it was nothing compared to seeing her wife and daughter laughing together, surrounded by their friends.

Maya took a piece of cake and swirled her finger through the icing, which she then popped into Jamie’s mouth. Tiny blue eyes widened in surprise at the new flavour, and Jamie clamped down so hard that Maya snorted, that toothy grin…

Baby T-Rex

Watching Maya with Jamie was like falling in love with over and over again. She loved overhearing their little conversations. She loved catching them in quiet moments, when Maya would study Jamie’s face and Jamie would study Maya’s face, her little hands tracing the lines of Maya’s cheekbones and her chin.

They were so content in each other’s company. From the day of her birth, Jamie clung to Maya. She listened to her speak. Her eyes searched for her always. And while Carina had always known that Maya would be a wonderful mother, this?

It was overwhelming in the best way.

Carina was so distracted that she didn’t see Katherine sit down next to her until her mother-in-law gently tapped her shoulder.

“Thank you,” Katherine said quietly, the shy smile an exact copy of Maya’s.

“Jamie adores you, Katherine. No other name would do.”

Katherine tilted her head down, not used to compliments.

“I also meant for…” Katherine trailed off, her eyes darting towards Maya.

Carina wasn’t sure what Katherine was trying to say.

“When she was young, before the college scholarships, before the Olympics, she was such a sweet girl. She was kind and sensitive…I…I let my husband take that from her, but I think you gave it back,” Katherine said, her voice wavering, “I didn’t know if Maya and I would ever have a relationship. I didn’t feel that I deserved that from her. But…you gave me a chance to be a grandmother. A chance to see my daughter as a mother. I just…thank you, Carina. I know it’s not the same as your own mother, but please know that I am here for you too. I am so proud of the woman Maya has become. And I am so proud to call you my daughter-in-law.”

Carina lurched forward, pulling Katherine into a tight hug, and they both laughed through tears until they heard Jamie let out a loud, indignant mewl. Maya was already standing, however, bringing Jamie with her, and with a quick wink, she walked away, diaper bag in hand.

“She times herself, you know?” Carina said, watching her wife disappear down the stairs.

“Times herself?”

“Diaper changes.”

Katherine groaned, shaking her head, but her smile was pure affection. As Carina looked around the Beanery, she realized that there was a lot of that going around. Affection.

Station 19 mingled with Grey-Sloan’s doctors. They laughed and exchanged stories and huddled together over plates of cake. While the party was in Jamie’s honour, in truth, it was also a goodbye party for Maya who had one week left with 19 before she formally transferred to 77.

Carina thought back to the first time she’d ever set foot in the station. She’d never know what compelled her to bring Maya lasagna. Feeding her one-night-stands wasn’t exactly Carina’s style, but Maya Bishop…

The sex had been really, really, really good. Better than good. Carina knew Maya would be fun in bed, but her brash confidence, her stamina, her generosity. Carina wasn’t ashamed to admit that Maya had surprised her and she very much wanted more.

There was also the fact that she genuinely liked spending time with Maya. That she felt butterflies around her, though she attributed them to the welcome escape Maya provided from Andrea’s illness and her constant worry. A much more welcome escape than random hookups with Grey-Sloan doctors to scratch an itch mostly caused by boredom.

Owen Hunt was less than memorable, though she’d never share that with Teddy.

And then Maya had behaved like an asshole and Carina had every intention of forgetting the mind-blowing sex and the butterflies. Until Maya looked at her with that Maya look. Those eyes.

Those intense, impossible eyes.

Carina had shocked herself when she closed the door, when she took Maya’s face in her hands and kissed her hard.

It had never been Carina’s intention to involve herself with 19. The more time she spent with Maya, however, the more time she found herself actually liking Maya’s colleagues. They were a breath of fresh air from the complexities of Grey-Sloan’s ever-evolving relationships.

Until she scratched the surface and realized that they were just as dramatic as her own friends.

Looking around the room, Carina let herself ponder each member of Maya’s found family. Her feelings about them were so tangled, so confusing…

Travis was hilarious. Quick with a joke. Quick with a jab too.

Vic was brilliant, burdened, but more talented than anyone Carina had ever met. Carina always wondered why Vic didn’t put herself forward for promotion. She wondered if sometimes Vic held herself back. A means to protect herself. Vic who’d been hurt one too many times. Vic who had planned their wedding and bought their baby clothes and didn’t start regularly texting Maya again until Jamie came into their lives.

Ben was impossible. Carina found her boss’s husband frustrating though he was a skilled physician. He defied orders and ignored warnings and was never called insubordinate for his behaviour. Ever. But he was also kind. He was the type of person who adopted teenagers. Who adopted toddlers. Who took in anyone who needed help. The very definition of good.

Jack was…

It was another lifetime ago. Before Jamie. Before weddings and Covid. Before Andrea. Another lifetime though a lifetime she had lived through. And while she never doubted Maya’s loyalty or her love, Jack still caused a little pang. Because Jack never learned from his mistakes. Maya had once told Carina that she’d apologized to him for her actions.

For breaking up with him abruptly. For pairing him with Rigo. For using him that night…

And Carina had almost hit the roof. Maya worked so hard for redemption. She went to therapy, she made herself vulnerable, she tore down walls of solid ice to keep Carina forever warm. She apologized and apologized and apologized.

Jack never did. Jack was somehow always the innocent. And while Carina appreciated his support, she even occasionally enjoyed his friendship, she could never reconcile how Jack so easily allowed others to shoulder the blame that he should have shared. A part of her would always hate him. For saying yes that night. For seeing an angry woman in pain, a woman clearly in turmoil, a woman he very much knew was in a relationship, and saying yes.

Yet without Jack, Jamie would have died.

Carina sighed, turning away, deciding not to dwell on such dark thoughts.

Though it was difficult when Andy was standing behind the kitchen counter, laughing with Theo, the double bars on her collars shining under the fluorescents.

Andy Herrera would likely always remain a mystery to Carina. According to Maya, she was one of the best firefighters SFD had ever seen. Andy loved big, but she also had a hero complex bigger than even Ben’s. She’d been by Maya’s side through the academy, as probies, and beyond. And then Maya made the mistake of choosing her own ambition over Andy’s and Andy Herrera became one of the cruelest people Carina had ever met.

Maya was not an innocent victim. Carina knew her wife could be selfish in pursuit of her goals. She could be self-absorbed. But she also knew Maya was loyal to her friends in a way few truly understood. Andy had lived with them for months. She’d sat at their table and eaten their food and shared in their lives. In fact, most of 19 had taken a turn staying with Maya. Because Maya opened her home without a second thought. There was an extra bed and a friend in need and that was enough for Maya.

And not once had Andy offered the same in return.

Carina understood her own bias. She understood that some primitive part of her brain was angry because Andy made Maya cry and Maya was her wife and no one got to make her wife cry and live to see another sunrise.

But Andy climbed the SFD ladder by stepping on Maya’s chest.

She’d overheard the argument the night they’d announced their plan to adopt Jamie. She’d overheard Andy imply that Maya’s decisions were entirely based on selfishness, that Maya was lying when she said she was doing what was best for their family.

Carina clenched her fist, forcing herself to remain calm.

The idea that Maya was somehow using Jamie as an excuse to hide her own greed…

“Hey, you okay?” Teddy’s voice broke through Carina’s turmoil and she was grateful for it. She turned in her chair, smiling at her friend who was busy holding a fussy Alison.

“I’m fine. Time to go?” She laughed, recognizing a post-sugar-high crash in Alison’s tears.

Teddy nodded. She awkwardly handed Carina an envelop before she left.

“From me and Amelia,” she explained, “for you and Maya. Tell her I said goodbye…I think she’s in the downstairs office with Jamie? I didn’t want to disturb them.”

Carina glanced at her phone, surprised to see so much time had passed. A diaper change only took minutes, but Maya had been gone for nearly half an hour. She squeezed Katherine’s shoulder, making her excuses, and then left the noise of the Beanery to find her little family.

The door to the captain’s office was closed. It gave Carina pause.

In many ways, the room felt like a crime scene.

She and Maya had breathlessly made out in every corner, both high off each other, both unsure how to label what they were, but not caring.

And while she’d never asked Maya, Carina knew it was also the place where Maya had nearly destroyed them. She didn’t like to think about it. She preferred to remember the day Maya asked her to move in. Or the day shortly before their wedding, just after Carina’s return from Italy…

How she’d come to visit Maya at midnight, unable to stay away, unable to stop herself from bending Maya over the captain’s bunk and using the strapon she’d worn all the way to the station. How it had felt dirty and hot.

Reclaiming that space felt like the final salve on a wound finally ready to heal for good.

Until the captain’s office became a living reminder of Maya’s loss. Its revolving door firmly closed behind her. It became the place Maya dreamed about, the place she longed for. And if Carina was honest with herself, she longed for it too. Because she longed for Maya’s happiness. More than anything.

Carina pushed open the door, surprised to find the room dark. Maybe Teddy was wrong? Maybe Maya was somewhere else in the station? But before Carina could leave, she heard soft whispers from the bunk room, though the words caused some concern.

“You’re okay, Jamie. I’m here. Everything is okay, baby.”

When Carina poked her head in, she found Maya sitting on the bed with her back against the wall. She was without her shirt and Jamie slept on her chest, her little dress long gone, leaving her in only her diaper. 

Skin to skin.

Just like the day Jamie was born. Just like all those long nights in the NICU.

“Ciao, Tesoro,” Carina said, trying not to startle Maya.

Maya smiled, her cheek pressed to the top of Jamie’s head, and then moved just enough to make room for Carina to sit.

Up close, Carina realized that Jamie’s little cheeks were wet from tears.

“Is she okay?” Carina asked.

“Yeah. There are a lot of people upstairs. I think it scared her a little.”

Jamie had one of Maya’s bra straps held tightly in her hand. As always, she looked so comfortable in Maya’s arms, her little body curled into Maya’s chest. When she sniffled seconds later, both moms held their breath, but Maya spoke first in a calm, reassuring whisper.

“It’s just me and Mama, Jamie. See? It’s Mama.”

Carina stroked Jamie’s cheek, melting when Jamie closed her eyes and smiled. She lightly ran her fingers through Jamie’s wispy curls, lulling her, and when it looked like Jamie was asleep, Carina leaned forward and kissed her forehead before turning her face and kissing Maya’s bicep.

“Teddy and Amelia gave us a present,” Carina said, showing Maya the envelop in her hand.

Maya raised an eyebrow. “Do we even want to know?”

With one more kiss to Maya’s arm, Carina tore open the envelop, surprised to find a piece of paper folded within alongside what appeared to be a voucher for the Lotte Hotel.

We’re stealing your baby for a weekend. Take a break from being moms and go be MILFs.

Love Amelia and Teddy

“Amelia should work for Hallmark,” Maya laughed, but Carina found herself somewhat distracted by the implication of a weekend alone with her wife.

For the most part, sex had been rushed since bringing Jamie home. Rushed or so emotional that after, Carina often felt hungover. The idea of taking her time with Maya, of having all of that privacy?

“I have missed you, Bambina,” Carina licked her lips, setting the note down beside her. She leaned in, which made Maya roll her eyes though she did not hesitate to lean in too. Maya’s lips tasted like chocolate, Carina couldn’t stop herself from licking inside, moaning softly at the feel of Maya’s tongue.

It felt like a promise. A tease.

But they were both aware of the sleeping baby between them and Carina pulled back, content to sit next to Maya in the soft yellow light of the room.

“Should we go back upstairs?” Carina asked thinking of Katherine.

Maya frowned, her fingers tracing circles over Jamie’s back. “I don’t know. It took me ten minutes to get her to stop crying. She seemed really afraid.”

That heart. That impossibly big heart.

Carina briefly wondered how Maya would handle Jamie’s first cold. Her first scrapped knee. Her first failed pop quiz or high school break up.

The answer was, of course, sitting right beside her. She would hold Jamie up, protecting her from the world, shielding her with strong arms and hands, taking away the hurt and the pain and the fear.

“I think she has some separation anxiety, maybe social anxiety too,” Carina said, her fingers still caught in Jamie’s curls.

Maya looked down, tightening her hold on the baby. “But she’s okay, right? We can get her help for that?”

“She is perfetta.”

Maya’s worried face, the way she pressed soft kisses to Jamie’s head, as if she could take away Jamie’s fear with just her touch…

Maybe she could. If anyone could, it was Maya. Carina knew that better than anyone.

They kept falling into moments of comfortable silence. The day had been so loud, joyous but loud, filled with friends and laughter and happy tears. But the quiet felt good, the hidden, intimate, cocoon felt so needed. Carina only wished she had a blanket to wrap around the three of them, binding them together.

“Two more shifts at 19.”

Maya’s voice was soft, almost hesitant.

“It’s okay to be sad, Maya. It’s natural,” Carina said.

“I’m not sad exactly. I just never imagined I’d ever leave,” she said, her gaze shifting from the top of Jamie’s head to Carina, “I never imagined a lot of things.”

Maya’s eyes were so soft, her smile almost humble. It made Carina sigh.

“Does your new office have a private bunkroom?” She asked with a wink. Maya smile back, indulgent.

“I believe it does. Big plans, Dr. DeLuca?”

“For you? Always.”

The quiet returned, the comfort with it. Jamie’s tiny snores provided the soundtrack to their stolen moment of sanctuary. There were people upstairs, presents to open, and cake to eat, but Carina wanted to remember this moment forever.

The way Maya’s hair fell in waves over her shoulders. Her pale skin, the curve of her biceps as she held Jamie. Jamie’s eyelashes against her cheek. Her tiny fist holding on so tightly to Maya. The movement of Maya’s hands, those beautiful hands, rubbing circles over Jamie’s back…

She absorbed it. She let it take root.

She let it colour her universe.

~*~

Station 77 had a long, storied history, though outwardly it appeared much the same as Station 19. A generous grant from the city had allowed a total refurbishment of the station, so classic brick and marble sat beside glass and steel, creating an imposing structure that Maya found only slightly intimidating.

She sat in her car, staring out the windshield, giving herself a silent pep talk for the day ahead.

“You’re great,” she mumbled, believing it, her eyes focusing on the small plaque in front of her parking spot.

CAPTAIN

Carina had woken her with needy hands and a clever smile. Usually, Maya would want to be laser focused on such an important morning, but her wife had chosen to be particularly submissive, a calculated decision that left Maya feeling like she was six feet tall.

She licked her lips, imaging she could still taste Carina, smiling to herself at the memory of Carina sprawled beneath her, begging, those dark eyes a an addiction Maya could not escape. Nor did she want to.

“I’m freaking great,” she whispered, the image of her very satiated wife doing much to bolster her courage and her confidence.

She stepped out of the car, gathering her backpack from the front seat, and then walked inside, shoulder squared, head raised.

A probie sat at the front desk, his eyes immediately widening as he saw the double-bars on her collars.

Maya extended her hand.

“Captain Maya Bishop,” she said, hiding the smirk when a sweaty palm made contact with her own, “it’s nice to meet you…”

“Nowak. Eddie Nowak.”

“Nowak,” Maya smiled, wondering if the probie could even lift a hose, let alone put out a fire. His close-cropped hair spoke of a military background, however, so despite his nerves, Maya wasn’t ready to write him off.

A door opened down a hallway and a tall, thin man in SFD’s navy uniform approached, clean shaven, his black hair carefully slicked back. He had kind eyes though and the bar on his collar indicated that this was Maya’s lieutenant.

“Captain Bishop,” he said with a wide smile, “I’m Lieutenant Vargas. Welcome to 77.”

He ushered her in, pointing out features of the building. The barn was in the back, the beanery up the stairs, just like at 19. Maya’s office was upstairs too, along with the team’s lockers and the station’s washroom. She’d need to transfer her turnouts and meet the rest of the team, but Vargas seemed to have her on a tour and she wasn’t about to interrupt him.

She looked at the display cases, at the pictures of 77’s fallen firefighters. There were memorials on the wall to long dead captains and in honour of 9/11. Station 77 felt lived-in and cared for, though Maya could see room for improvement in its layout and accessibility. The old firepole hadn’t been used in decades, apparently. She made a mental note to change that.

As they came to a stop in front of her new office, Maya paused, trying to take in the moment.

“Lieutenant Vargas, if you could have the team gather in the barn in ten minutes. I would like to start running drills as soon as possible,” she said, pleased when he simply nodded instead of giving her any pushback or rolling his eyes.

This wasn’t 19. This was 77.

This was her station.

The office was in the older part of the building, all exposed brick and a large window that let in natural light. Maya walked around, taking in the usual bookshelves full of policy, the coffee maker that Carina would despise, and finally her desk, a solid oak contraption polished to a dark, chestnut.

She poked her head into the captain’s bunkroom, already delighted to see that Jamie’s pack and play would fit in the corner. The bunk itself was spacious enough for a certain long-legged OB/GYN to stretch out for a quick nap or a quick something else.

Maya checked her watch, noting she had five minutes until her first meeting with the team. She circled the desk, standing behind the leather chair, and set her bag down.

Her medal came out first. She held it in her hands, admiring its shine. Even behind glass, it held its sparkle. She placed it on the shelf behind her, proud to see it out. Carina would be pleased too.

Next, she pulled two more frames from her bag, though these contained photographs, which she happily set down on the desk, unable to keep the grin from her face.

The first picture was from their wedding, a candid Vic had snapped of the two of them dancing, totally caught up in each other, hazy-eyed and so obviously in love.

The second picture was more recent. Jamie lay on her back, Carina on her side, her head propped up on one hand. She was looking down at Jamie and Jamie was looking up at her, and Maya was enthralled by the image of her two greatest loves. She briefly thought of her office at 19. No personal pictures. No personal anything except the medal.

And while she still liked to keep her worlds relatively separate, the thought of keeping Jamie and Carina away was unfathomable.

She was an Olympian.

She was a wife.

She was a mother.

Maya was unwilling to hide any piece of herself. She was unwilling to pretend she was anything but who she was.

She would not abandon her ambition. She would not deny her family. She would not let anything hold her back ever again.

Something green and furry caught Maya’s eye as she prepared to put her bag on the floor. She shook her head as she reached in, retrieving Jamie’s T-Rex stuffy, an item that she had very much not packed herself.

A small note was pinned to the doll’s chest.

Buona fortuna, Mommy! Ti vogliamo bene <3

Maya folded the paper carefully and tucked it into her pocket. She brought the little dino to her nose, breathing in Jamie’s familiar scent, and then placed it back into her bag before walking out the door.

She inhaled deeply as she walked into the barn. Her head held high. Her shoulders squared.

She was Maya Bishop.

And by some miracle, Carina DeLuca loved her.

And Jamie DeLuca-Bishop loved her too.

She was better than great. She was unstoppable.

“77!” she called out, watching her new firefighters fall in line, “let’s go.” 

*fin*