24. Chapter Twenty-Four

When Nicole walked into the station the next morning, with a skip in her step and coffee for both her and Eric, her smile was immense.

She had woken up in bed with Waverly, woken up with Waverly in her arms on multiple occasions but this morning was different.

This morning she was able to enjoy the feel of Waverly fast asleep on top of her without fear that she was crossing some line. This morning she was able to run her fingers along the soft, warm skin of Waverly’s thigh without crossing that line between friends and something more. This morning she was able to wake Waverly with light kisses without any kind of worry of ruining their friendship. This morning she woke up with Waverly and there was no worry, there was no fear, only this feeling of being home, only happiness.

This morning they were more than best friends, they were…. Well Nicole wasn’t sure exactly what they were. They hadn’t actually talked about it. Sure, they’ve made out and admitted their feelings for one another but, did that mean they were dating? She hoped so but she wasn’t entirely sure where they stood at the moment.

“You were smiling so wide a second ago, I thought your face might split in two but now you look like a kicked puppy,” Eric said, nodding his thanks for the coffee that Nicole placed on his desk on the way to hers. “What the hell happened in the span of two seconds to ruin your good mood?”

“Nothing, I’m good.” She sipped her coffee as she set her steton on her desk, then sat in her chair, getting started on the paperwork she didn't finish yesterday.

“You are a terrible liar Haught.” He shook his head at her but didn't push. She'd tell him when she was ready, if she wanted to talk about it at all.

She shrugged. “I always thought that was a good thing.”

“Oh it is,” he said, rolling his chair over to her desk and propping his feet up, smirking when she scoffed at him. “It’s great for the people around you but, not so much for you, it could really, really hurt you.”

“How so?” She asked, pushing his feet off her desk and looking at this man, her partner who was like an older brother to her, who was the older brother she had always wanted.

She had three older brothers and not one of them looked out for her the way Eric has done since the moment they met. Her older brothers hadn’t took an interest in her life like the way Eric had. Eric has been more of a brother to her than any of her older brothers.

“People will always know when you’re lying, they will always know the truth because you can’t lie, because the truth shines so clearly in your eyes, because you are an honest person through and through and because you can’t lie, you can’t protect yourself, you can’t protect that heart of gold you have,” he explained, tapping her heart twice. “You are like a little sister to me, Haught, and I worry that that heart of gold you have, the heart that makes you who you are, makes you kind and honest, makes you want nothing more than to help other people, I worry it’s going to get broken and it’s going to change you.”

“I’ve had my heart broken before Eric, it didn’t change me.”

“Did you love the woman that broke your heart as much as you love Waverly?”

Nicole didn’t say anything, just looked away from his gaze and focused back on her paperwork but that was an answer in itself.

“Just take care of yourself Haught, put yourself first, protect your heart and God, please don’t let her or anyone else change you because you are a good person and the world would be worse off if you changed.” Eric sighed and squeezed her shoulder before moving back to his desk.

She wanted to tell him that Waverly felt the same way she did, that he had nothing to worry about, that Waverly wasn’t going to break her heart, that loving Waverly wasn’t going to change her in a negative way, loving Waverly was only going to make her better.

“I’ll take care of myself,” she promised, looking towards the station's doors as Deputy Marshal Dolls stormed through the lobby towards the offices he had commanded without a glance their way.

Wynonna came in after him, coffee in one hand and a powder doughnut in the other, following after the Deputy Marshal before stopping and turning towards her and Eric.

“Hey Red, come here a second.” Wynonna stopped at the front desk and waved her over.

Nicole looked over at Eric with an arched eyebrow and he rolled his eyes at her.

“Well, she certainly isn’t calling me red.” He made a show of running his fingers through his blonde hair.

Swallowing down the sudden nervousness she felt, Nicole stood and made her way over to the other woman.

There was no real reason for her to be nervous about talking with Waverly’s sister, other than the fact that she was Waverly’s sister and she meant everything to Waverly and Nicole, she just wanted Wynonna to like her.

“How can I help you Miss Earp?”

“You Haught, Nicole Haught?”

Nicole looked down at the name tag pinned to her shirt then back up at Wynonna. “Nah, I just found this nametag on the sidewalk and put it on, figured I’d try being a cop for a day.”

Wynonna narrowed her eyes at Nicole before smirking at her from behind her coffee, though it didn’t reach her eyes. They were still haunted, guarded, distrustful.

Not that Nicole blamed her, not in the slightest. If the town she grew up in did nothing but bad mouthed her, treated her like she was crazy, cursed then she would be distrustful of anyone and everyone she met too.

“Sassy, I like it, you’re friends with Waverly right?”

“I am.” Nicole nodded.

Wynonna leaned over the desk, closer to Nicole and Nicole could smell the hint of whiskey on her breath just underneath the coffee. “You the one that gave Champ the black eye?”  

Nicole whipped her head around sharply, making sure no one especially Nedley was in earshot. The last thing she needed was for Nedley or anyone at the station hearing about her punching Champ.

She wondered how Wynonna found out about it. Surely, if it was all over town already (which wouldn’t be surprising, Purgatory was small and gossip spread faster than wildfire around here, especially if an Earp was involved), Eric would have known and he would have said something, told her to stay out of trouble.

“I have no idea what you are talking about Earp.” Nicole folded her arms over her chest and gave the older woman a half hearted glare.

She didn’t have it in her to be mean to this woman, who underneath the laidback attitude, underneath the leather jacket and the big ass gun on her hip, was broken. She could see it in her blue eyes, the flash of pain and regret that went through them when she mentioned Waverly. She may have seemed closed off but her eyes, they gave everything away.

Nicole couldn’t be outright mean to her, she couldn’t even pretend to be mean, not after she found out some of the stuff she had been through from Waverly last night. Wynonna deserved a break, a friend.

Wynonna leaned further over the front desk, lowering her voice so no one could hear. “Come on, Waverly told me about it, I bet it felt great to punch that douchebag in the face.”

Her blue eyes sparkled with amusement and the tiniest bit of happiness and Nicole didn’t have the heart to snuff it out. Apparently she had a weakness for the Earps and their sad, sad eyes.

And maybe that weakness she has for the Earps will bite her in the ass one day but, she could live with that. The Earps, they needed as many people as they could get on their side, they needed friends, people to care about them and look out for them and Nicole, she’d be that person, not just for Waverly but for Wynonna too. You know, if Wynonna let her.

“It felt incredible to punch that dick in the face.” Nicole winked, grinning when Wynonna cracked a smile, a small one but a smile nonetheless.

She felt that same pride, same happiness she had whenever she was able to make Waverly smile when she was feeling down, when she was sad.

Wynonna placed her doughnut in her mouth and held up her hand for a high five.

Nicole stared at the offered hand, covered in white powdered sugar and grimaced.

She wasn’t a germaphobe, she didn’t mind getting her hands dirty when needed but she loathed the feeling of powdered sugar on her hands and she didn’t know why. She had just always hated ever since she was little, hated the feeling of it caked under her fingernails, hated how it got on everything but life had disappointed Wynonna enough, had beat her down enough, people have let Wynonna down enough that Nicole could live with it just this once.   

She reluctantly held her own up, her grimace turning into a smile as Wynonna smirked around the doughnut and hit their hands together with a loud smack sounding around the quiet station.  

Nicole jerked her hand away as it began to sting, cursing. “Dammit Earp.”

“How’s Waverly been since Curtis?” Wynonna asked with a nonchalant tone as if she didn't really care but her eyes, they told a completely different story. They were filled to the brim with worry and a fierce love and protectiveness that one only had for a sibling.

“She’s doing as okay as she can, she misses him a lot but she's getting by,” Nicole said before asking. “How are you doing?”

Wynonna stared at her for a long moment, her eyes guarded again, distrustful, as if she thought Nicole had some ulterior motive for asking.

And once again, Nicole understood that. She knew that when you’ve been hurt by so many people, when people have let you down time and time again you begin question people's motives, you question when they take a sudden interest you.

“Psssh me? I’m great.” She gave an unconvincing smile then nodded before gulping down half of her coffee, turning her head towards the Black Badge offices where Deputy Marshal Dolls was calling for her. “Later Red.”

“Have a good day, Wynonna,” Nicole called after the retreating woman, who gave a wave of her hand in return.

Nicole walked back to her desk, ignoring the questioning look Eric sent her way.

“You punched Champ Hardy?” Eric asked, his tone stern, the same one he used when giving someone a ticket but he was having trouble keeping his smirk in check.

“I am an officer of the law, I do not go around punching civilians.”

“Nicole Haught, you’re my hero.” Eric grinned at her, pride shining in his eyes. “You really shouldn’t go around punching people but I’m sure Hardy deserved it.”

Nedley stepped out of his office, glaring at the two officers. “I don’t pay you two to sit around and goof off, go to the hospital and try talking Nancy into a restraining order again.”

“Yes Sir.” Nicole stood from her desk quickly, gathering her things.

Nedley had been in a bad mood ever since Black Badge moved into the station and had taken to taking his frustrations out on Nicole and Eric, which usually ended with them all being in pretty bad moods by the end of the day but Nicole and Eric tried to take it all in stride.

They understood the pressure Nedley was under. They understood that Black Badge coming in made it look like he wasn’t able to do his job, wasn’t able to protect this town and it’s people.

“Let’s go Haughtstuff.” Eric picked up his coffee and headed towards the door, throwing the car keys over his shoulder at Nicole.

Nicole looked up from her phone, where she had been sending a quick text to Waverly, letting her know that she might not be able to do lunch, just in time to see the keys flying in the air towards her face.

Sidestepping and reaching out for the keys, Nicole caught them with ease, glaring at Eric’s back as they made their way out of the station. “I told you to warn me before you do that.”

“Expect the unexpected Haught.” Eric grinned over his shoulder at her. “I’m keeping your reflex sharp, you’ll thank me one day.”

“Just get in the car.” Nicole rolled her eyes and unlocked the doors.

The two officers stood outside of Nancy McDaniels’ hospital room, debating on what kind of approach to take here. This was their last chance to talk her into getting a restraining order on her husband. Nedley had done all he could to keep David out of the hospital and keep Nancy in for as long as possible, now it was their turn to do something, to keep this woman safe.

Of course, they knew that a restraining order wouldn’t necessarily stop David from getting to Nancy but if she wasn’t willing to press charges, then it was all they could do at the moment. And something was better than nothing right?

Nicole believed that she should go in and talk with Nancy alone. Eric could be kind of intimidating at times, especially to a victim of abuse and Nicole thought she could get through to Nancy if it was just the two of them.

Eric, he knew Nicole was right. She should be the one to talk with Nancy but he was going to make her fight for it, make her state her case on why they should go with her plan, her idea. There will be many times in the future where she’ll have to fight to be heard in the field and he was going to do his best to prepare her for those times.

Nicole was already a good cop but Eric, he wanted to shape her into a more well rounded, great cop. It wouldn’t be hard to do, it would take very little effort on his part. Nicole had all this untapped potential just underneath the surface, just waiting to be tapped into and honestly it was going to waste here in Purgatory.

Nicole could have been a cop in a big city and easily moved through the ranks but instead she chose to take a job in Purgatory, where up until recently nothing ever happened. Not for the first time, Eric wandered why out of all places she could have gone, Nicole chose Purgatory.

“It’s our best option Eric, our only option at this point,” Nicole stated, her voice confident, steady and Eric was proud. “We’ve tried talking to her together the other day and it didn’t work, this is our last chance before she gets out of here and that bastard gets his claws in her again, we can’t fail her, I can’t fail her again, let me do this.”

“Hey, you listen to me Haught, you saved that woman's life in there.” Eric pointed towards Nancy’s room, trying to keep his voice low.

He hated that Nicole thought that she failed Nancy when in reality, she saved her life and just might do it again if she can get Nancy to agree to a restraining order. He hated that for all her raw talent, all her instincts for the job, that for all her confidence, all her swagger, deep down she was so damn insecure about her ability to do her job. It was heartbreaking.

“You haven't failed her, you are the only person in this town who hasn’t given up on her, on helping her, if anyone has failed her it’s the people in this town who have given up on her, who have turned the other cheek while he abused her, you might just be her saving grace Haught.”

Nicole gave him a stiff nod and turned on her heels, walking to Nancy’s room and knocking on the opened door lightly, not waiting to startle the poor woman.

“Make me proud kid,” Eric whispered to himself, watching Nicole walk into the room and shut the door behind her. He found an empty seat in across the hall and waited.

Nicole’s heart was pounding heavily in her chest when she entered the dimly lit hospital room, palms sweaty as she clenched the brim of her steton tightly in her hands, stomach churning with uneasiness, with nerves.  

“Mrs. McDaniels, do you remember me?” Nicole asked softly, moving closer to the bed, closer to the petite redhead, who was no longer hooked up to multiple machines, who was no longer a deadly shade of white, who looked finally more awake and alert.

She wasn’t sure how much Nancy actually remembered from the last time she was here. Nancy had been so hopped up on pain meds the other day that she was pretty out of it when Eric and Nicole stopped by. It was a terrible time to try and talk to her then but Nedley had insisted.

“Yes, I remember you, Officer Haught.” She didn’t sound pleased that Nicole was there but Nicole wasn’t going to let that stop her from doing what she came here to do.

“May I sit?” Nicole asked, motioning to the chair next to the bed.

“Like I have much of a choice.” Nancy studied her with wary eyes and Nicole tried to make herself look as small, as nonthreatening as possible.

She knew from experience (from her best friend in high school, who had been a victim of domestic abuse), that her tall frame sometimes made abuse survivors uneasy, uncomfortable and that was the last thing she wanted to do here.

She wanted Nancy to feel safe, to feel like she was someone she could trust, someone on her side. She just wanted to help Nancy, keep her safe and she’d do whatever she had to help and keep Nancy safe because no one deserved to be hurt and abused by the person they love.

“That’s not true, you always have a choice,” Nicole said, taking a seat, keeping her voice soft and low. “If you want me to go, I’ll go but I really hope you take the time to hear me out.”

“Look, I know what you are going to say and I’m not getting a restraining order, I love him and he loves me.” Nancy folded her arms across her chest, grimacing when the skin around the wound on her side stretched with the movement.

“This is not love, you don’t hurt the person you love, you don’t put them in the hospital.”

“He promised it’d never happen again, that he’d never hurt me again,” Nancy said quietly, not quite meeting Nicole’s eyes.

When Nicole realized that wasn’t going to work, she switched tactics. “Nancy, I know you love him and maybe he does love you, I don’t know.” Nicole sighed, rubbing the back of her neck, searching for the right words to get through to her, to make her see that what David has been doing to her isn’t what love is, isn’t what she deserves.  

She knew that breaking through all the shit David put in Nancy’s head wouldn’t be easy but Nicole wasn’t going to give up so easily, she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

“The person you love and that loves you isn’t supposed to hurt you but sometimes they end up hurting you, beating you down and destroying you and it’s not okay,” Nicole said, trying to get Nancy to look at her. “Something even though you love someone with everything in you, they’re not right for you, sometimes they’re not good for you, sometimes they’re not enough, sometimes love isn’t enough and sometimes you have to put yourself and your safety before love, before the person you love.”

“He loves me, he promised it wouldn’t happen again, he promised he’d be better.”

Nicole wasn’t sure which one of them she was trying to convince. Either way the only person she was hurting was herself.

She wondered how deep David’s claws were dug into his wife, how deep the mental abuse ran. Was it as bad and as far gone as the physical abuse? Did David have her thinking that he was all she had? That he was the only person who would ever love her, want her? Did he have Nancy’s world narrowed down to him and only him?

“All I’m asking Nancy, is that you put your safety first, that you put your life before him.” Nicole wasn’t above begging, especially if it saved someone’s life.

“I can help you, I can keep you safe,” Nicole promised and maybe it was stupid to make a promise she wasn’t sure she could even keep but at this point, Nicole would do absolutely anything to keep Nancy safe, to keep her away from David.

“I can get you away from him, I can get you out of Purgatory and far far away from here and that man, if you want to stay in Purgatory, I’ll find you a safe place, I can help you Nancy, just let me.”

“He’s all I have,” Nancy whispered  and Nicole knew then that no matter what she said, no matter what she promised, she wouldn’t get through to Nancy.

At least not right now, maybe some time later down the line. Maybe when Nicole has gained her trust. Just hopefully before David took things too far.

There was a knock at the door causing Nancy to stiffen, her eyes flashing briefly with fear, which caused Nicole to automatically reach for the pistol at her hip and place herself between the door and Nancy.

“Sorry to interrupt Officer.” A nurse stuck her head into the room, giving Nicole an apologetic smile. “But I have Mrs. McDaniels’ discharge papers.”

“Of course.” Nicole relaxed slightly, taking her hand off her pistol and turning towards Nancy as she pulled a business card from one of the pouches on her belt. “If you need anything, if you change your mind, call me day or night and I’ll be there.”

When Nancy didn’t take the card, Nicole sat it on the table next to the bed with a sigh, nodding to the nurse on the way out the room.

Upon seeing the defeated look in Nicole’s eyes and the slump of her shoulders, Eric threw his arm around her neck and lead her out  of the hospital and towards their car.

The drive back into town was silent, save for the radio where dispatch was relaying calls to other officers. Eric didn’t try to reassure Nicole that it wasn’t her fault. He didn’t try to reassure her that she tried her best.

He didn’t try to make sure she was okay because he had seen that defeated, haunted look in her eyes before. He had seen it the night they took Nancy to the hospital and he knew there was nothing he could do to make it better.

There was only one person who could make Nicole feel better and Eric was going to take Nicole to her.

Waverly was wiping down a table when Eric and Nicole walked in. She smiled warmly at them, fighting the urge to go over and kiss Nicole in lieu of a hello.

Eric gave her a small smile and wave as he headed towards the bar. Nicole didn’t look up from her shoes as she made her way to a table in the back of the saloon. Nicole always, always greeted Waverly with a dimpled smile and a hand squeeze when she came into Shorty’s.

And while it wasn’t unusual for Nicole to come in at lunch time a little down after a hard couple of hours at work, that never stopped her from coming straight up to Waverly the second she walked through the heavy wooden doors.

Waverly’s forehead wrinkled in concern as she watched Nicole spin the ring on her finger as she stared down at the tabletop in front of her. She was the complete opposite of the happy, smiling woman that had woken Waverly up to light kisses along every inch of bare skin she could find.

Tugging the rag she was using into the black apron around her waist, Waverly made her way over to the table Nicole was at.

“Hey,” Waverly whispered, placing her hands on tense shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze. “Rough day?”

Nicole’s shoulders relaxed almost immediately at Waverly’s touch and as much as Waverly wanted to knead the tense muscle under her fingers, she could feel eyes on them and it made her nervous, almost uncomfortable.

Could people tell that things were different between them? Could people see that there was something more than friendship going on with them? Were people judging them? Judging her?

Most of Purgatory wasn’t homophobic but add liking both men and women to being an Earp and people could get cruel and hateful real quick.

She loved the woman in front of her but she wasn’t ready to be judged for who she loved. People in this town judge her enough on her last name alone, among other things and she didn’t want to give them any more ammunition.

Waverly pulled her hands away as if she had been burned, trying to ignore the disappointed sigh that escaped Nicole’s lips.

“It’s been pretty rough,” Nicole said, pulling the chair next to her out. “Sit with me?”

Waverly looked over her shoulder, suddenly self conscious of her every move around Nicole. And she hated that because everything had always come so easily with Nicole, so natural. And second guessing herself around Nicole, felt wrong.

“You know, no one is going to know that we’ve made out if you sit next to me,” Nicole whispered, looking up at her with sad brown eyes, fingers tracing along the table absentmindedly. “We always sit together but I understand if you don’t want to.”

Waverly wasn’t sure if the sadness in Nicole’s eyes were because of whatever happened at work or because she was hesitant to sit with her. Either way, it made Waverly want to hold Nicole until that sadness was gone.

“I’m sorry,” Waverly said, taking a seat next to Nicole and running her fingers down Nicole’s arm before placing her hands in her lap.  “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want this, want you, want us to be together because I do, more than anything, I’m just scared this is all so new to me.”

“It’s okay Waves, it’s okay to be scared.” Nicole placed her palms on the table to keep from reaching out and tucking Waverly’s hair behind her ear. She didn’t want to push her, didn’t want to do something that would make Waverly uncomfortable.

She knew what it felt like first coming to terms with her sexuality. She remembered how scared she was that everyone could tell that there was something different about her, could tell that she was gay.

She remember how scared she was to come out to her parents, to her grandparents, to Trent, to her friends.

She remembered how poorly her parents reacted to her coming out. Okay, not poorly, they reacted horribly and pretty hatefully.

But what she remembered the most was the way Trent had hugged her and told her that he’d love her no matter what. The way her grandparents had reassured her that they’d always be there for her and she’d always have a home with them.

She knew how scary it could be but she also knew how freeing coming out could be. She didn’t want Waverly to rush into coming out until she was completely ready. She didn’t want Waverly to feel pressured to come out. She wanted Waverly to do everything at her own pace.

She wanted Waverly to know that everything was at her pace and that no matter what she’d be by her side, supporting her every step of the way.

“Waverly, whatever this is, whatever we are.” She motioned between them with her hands. “You’re setting the pace, you’re calling the shots, I’m just following your lead baby.”

“Girlfriends,” Waverly breathed, moving her hand along the tabletop until it was pressed against Nicole’s and intertwined their pinkies. “You’re my girlfriend, or at least I hope you are.”

Nicole ducked her head, looking up at Waverly through her eyelashes, giving her a full dimpled grin. “Girlfriends sounds perfect to me.”

“Yeah?” Waverly asked, tone hopeful and eyes shining with happiness and Nicole thought she had never looked more beautiful than in that moment.

“Yeah.” Nicole grinned, leaning in closer to Waverly. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

Waverly bit her bottom lip lightly, eyes darting from Nicole’s eyes to her plump lips. “We could always sneak upstairs for a few minutes.”

“Is that so, Miss Earp?” Nicole grinned, looking over her shoulder towards the bar, where Eric and Shorty were in deep conversation.

Surely no one would notice if they disappeared for a few moments. Even if someone did noticed, Nicole was sure that she could come up with a convincing lie about where they had been.

“If you’re up for it, Officer Haught.”

“I’m always up for it baby,” Nicole said, standing up from the table and winking at Waverly before casually making her way towards the staircase with a shake of her hips that had Waverly unabashedly staring at her ass.

When she was out of sight, Waverly followed after her, trying to keep the grin off her face and trying not to all but run after her.