Chapter 6

Pearl was never happy since that incident happened. She felt immerse pain which could be only beared by cutting herself. In her school she would always feel out of place and she would end up comparing herself to others so much that she would feel even more depressed. One day she even went to the extent to kill herself by jumping from a bridge but the plan wasn't successful as a stranger had stopped her.

Pearl went back home crying and on her way back home she had contacted her friend who knew everything about her situation to meet her but instead she met her other close friends and before she could spit any lies she started sobbing uncontrollably. When her friends heard about her situation they advised her not to do anything in a rush and asked her to take care of herself. To take Pearl's mind off from her problems they called her present boyfriend and let the both of them go on a date.

Things seemed a little bit easier for a few days after that but Pearl's life was never supposed to have any good thing. Her friends who looked like they supported her left her, her mom and stepdad got a divorce which was a good thing but instead of feeling happy Pearl felt sad because her stepdad took her two younger siblings who were just toddlers with him. Pearl felt unsafe with her boyfriend as he had commented something about him wanting to be Pearl's first kiss and also the first person to loose his virginity to. It wouldn't seem like a big deal to many people but at that time every word stung like needles to Pearl. She felt like she was just being seen as an object to suffice others sexual desires.

Pearl's mom was again under heavy debt which made her end up in prison. Pearl couldn't bear it anymore, she was tired of always crying alone in the corner of a dark room and this time she didn't want to share her problems because she realized that no matter what people pretend to say or do, deep down inside they never care and instead think of it as a burden to listen to others problem. Pearl had continuous thoughts of suicide again so she made a plan. She would go visit her counsellor after her school hours and before entering his room she would slit her wrist and wait for five minutes. After five minutes she would enter his counselling room and give him her suicide note before finally passing out.

She wrote a lengthy suicide note but when it came to slitting her wrist she wasn't able to do it as there were many students and her ex-boyfriend that she had recently broken up with. She had no option but to get inside the counseling room and talk about her feelings. That day she cried her heart out but the pain was still there, no matter how much she talked about her emotions. There was still an empty space in her heart that she wasn't able to fill...