Chapter 7

Pearl would be lying if she said that she didn't feel better after a few sessions with her counselor. Her counselor was a nice guy and he had asked her on many occasions if she wanted him to contact her mother to which she would firmly decline saying that she didn't want her mom to feel sad and guilty for her daughter's emotions. The counselor agreed to not spill any beans to her mother which put pearl's mind at rest for a while. She stopped taking counselling after a while. She started feeling happy and started loving her body more but life didn't allow her to stay like this for long.

Her life came falling apart again. Her family member started fighting with eachother and they again started scolding her almost all the time. Both her sisters never missed the opportunity to fat shame her. She didn't want to go back down the same past again so she tried to silently swallow everything up but it wasn't enough and she was again back to hating everything about her.

She didn't wanted to study anymore because it was tiring but nobody would listen to her because she was good at studies and got good grades without trying. No matter how she forced herself to study, she just couldn't do it. She wanted to pursue music which would be a silly thing according to her family but Pearl thought that pursuing things that one didn't like just because of other people's expectations was even more sillier. Her life was full of buts. And around this kind of crucial time Pearl found out that her sister and mother found out that she was self harming. They had known it since day one as her counselor had already informed them and it was hella awkward when her sister suddenly asked her that why she was cutting herself. Though her sir informed her mother out of concern but his act took all her will to trust others again. Pearl didn't know what to do and maybe because of that stress and anxiety, she became numb. She didn't feel neither guilt nor empathy. She just felt like a hollow cave which would only mimic the sound made by others.