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Forget The Rails, I Can't Find The Train! (Bleach SI)

Weraas · Others
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73 Chs

Arc 2 Ch0

I calmly opened my eyes, Aizen's one hundredth warning echoing through my head as I raised myself into a sitting position. We'd spent the last who knows how long working out the kinks as he explained what he knew-

Apperantly I done goof'd it with Gremmy. Hogyoku's and reality warpers don't mix. Go figure.

-as I explained what I remembered, though apparently I am incorrect in just about everything, and using these two wells of corrupted and poisoned knowledge, we came up with a fool-proof plan!

Still, his knowledge surrounding the rest of the Quincies hadn't been enough to explain Yhwach's presence.

Fortunately, I had a very good idea of what probably happened! Yhwach saw the new future and promptly lost his shit!

Aizen, like with near everything else I said, didn't agree.

He himself believes the axe-crazy sadist- Yes, that's the official term and no one can change my mind- sensed the disturbance in the balance and-

Oh my god, Aizen made a Star Wars reference! And I didn't even notice!

...God help us all...

Anyway. He believes the axe-crazy sadist sensed something amiss with the world and decided to check it out, and well, the rest, and for now, him are history.

"Aizen-" I heard Momo start up, bringing me out of my stupor, somewhat surprised she was standing there, her voice as shrill as ever, before I promptly raised a hand and pulled her towards me into a one-armed hug.

... Aizen internally sighed for the nth time.

I pulled back from the now frozen Lieutenant, a warm smile on my face as I locked gazes with her.

"Hello, Momo," My grin however didn't last, a serious expression quickly filtering in as I set forth with Aizen's and I's plan-

You've already ruined it.

Cool.

Guess I am improvaizen. Get it!?- The following shock of pain was, for once, understandable.

...

"Ai-Aizen-taichou.." The frozen girl started, her stutter immediately showing before I quickly spoke up over her.

"We'll talk later, for now I believe you have some duties to get to? I would much rather return to a functioning barracks," I remarked pointedly.

The girls eyes minutely widened as she straightened up, her gaze swiping between the other captains in the room before she nodded her head stiffly and disappeared to god knows where.

I am pretty sure Gremmy blew up my chambers...

I turned my gaze over towards the other three captains in the room, Shunsui thankfully having dismissed his competent lieutenant.

"So, first things first," I quickly turned to Unohana, "Where's the Ryoka girl?"

The woman quickly exchanged gazes with the Captain-commander in the room at the words, her eyes minutely narrowed before she received a curt nod and turned back towards me.

"In the fourth division barracks..." She answered carefully as she kept appraising me, her eyes brimming with something akin to curiosity?

I nodded at the answer. "Send someone to get her,"

"Is there a particular reason?" Yamamoto questioned whilst Unohana flared her Reiatsu as a signal for one of her squad members.

"Shunsui needs a hand job done," I shrugged.

Context! What is the matter with you!? Aizen immediately screeched into my head.

Shunsui minutely twitched at the words, his working limb twitching with him. "I am going to need a bit more context..." The man stated tersely, his smile forced.

I, naturally, shrugged. "She's going to make you a very happy man,"

Cue more consistent twitching. Poor man's going to have lines marring his face permanently at his point.

"Goddamit Aizen..." The man decidedly settled for as he sighed. "Would it have killed you to mention her ability to regenerate limbs earlier?" He questioned, his tone more questioning then certain as he looked me over.

"Who said anything about regeneration?" I grinned back in return. "She's going to be quite rejectful of the premise I assure you!"

Shunsui promptly turned towards Unohana and asked her how stable my condition was.

"Aizen... I would appreciate a little more seriousness from you..." Yamamoto ignored Shunsui's plea to put me back in a coma.

I promptly rolled my eyes, "Oh alright, but we can't talk too much out here, not until we get rid of the Quincy spy nest hiding in our backyard."

Dead silence met my words as Yamamoto's eyes narrowed, Unohana's expression twisted into a snarl and Shunsui promptly-

"Goddamit Aizen!"

"..." Whatever Yamamoto had been planning to say died on his lips as he looked me over again, his expression softening the slightest as he settled for flaring his own reiatsu, likely calling the rest of the captains for another meeting.

Naturally, that was the moment I decided to whoop out, "Ok! Get Shunsui a hand job!-" The man in question promptly grit his teeth, though he thankfully made no attempt to speak up, "-Get rid of the infestation, then it's off to bombing Huaco Mundo!" I stated with another grin.

"...It's Hueco Mundo..." Shunsui finally decided to interject, an irritated look to his face.

I blinked at the correction, "Wanna bet?"

Unfortunately, before Shunsui could lose his alcohol for the foreseeable future, Yamamoto evidently had enough as he urged everyone to move to a more secure location.

If only there was such a thing.

...

So what do you think? I do good or what?

You, immediately went against the only role I had set for you... All I needed you to do was keep quiet... The resigned voice echoed through my head, filling me with a certain sense of prid-

Fortunately, I quite frankly fully expected that-

No...

-knowing your tendencies-

No..! Don't you dare!

And thankfully, besides your... Earnest, and admittedly useful reaction to my lieutenant, everything is-

Don't you dare say it!

-going according to keikaku.

Son of a-

...

Author Notes: Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget feedback! And whoever came up with improvaizen, I salute you!