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FOREARM WARRIOR

A fantasy parody heavily inspired by Dungeon and Dragons. Does this novel take itself seriously? Fuck no. Is it good? Probably not. A young hero with massive forearms goes on an adventure, after being kicked out of the house at 2 and a half years old.

GodOfGrammor · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
12 Chs

Kicked out at the old age of 2 and a half CHP 4

It has been 4 days since MLML's father came into his room, to yell at him for being lazy. He hasn't moved from his rickety bed for 3 days. All he's done over the course of these days is reminisce on the seconds before Craig's death and if he could have prevented it.

This was when his father came into his room, for what was the last time. He sat down on a stool to the side of MLML's bed and met his droopy eyes. The look in his eyes was that of a father who figured out his son quit baseball, even though he had a promising future ahead of him. He wasn't infuriated, he wasn't sad, he was purely disappointed.

"Listen, son, you may have just turned 2 six months ago but it's time for you to move out of the house".

MLML replies in a slow tone.

"Why Dad? I just barely stopped shitting my pants"

"Well, son you just skipped your forearm workouts 3 days in a row. No son of mine is going to skip out on forearm workouts because he's being a sad little bitch. Get out of my house, you no longer need a diaper, so it's time to leave. My father did the same to me once, so I could fend for my own in this unfair world. I heard rumors of a forearm warrior, that's you, isn't it? Nobody else could figure out who the man clad in dragon's blood and guts was. I knew it was my son, I was proud but now I'm just disappointed. You let the death of your friend get you down this hard. When it should have motivated you to make your forearms more powerful".

That was when his dad grabbed him by the arm, with superior forearm power, and proceeded to yuck him out the window, pulverizing the window back into sand.

Several hours later MLML wakes up. He sits up into near-pure darkness; the only available light comes from several street lanterns lined up along the street.

He looks around to try to understand his surroundings. He notices a bag with a note on top of it. He opens the note while still sitting on the ground.

It reads, if you even try to step foot into the house before you can kick my ass, I'll fucking kill you. Love, Papa Igneal.

Finally remembering what had happened a few hours prior, it finally dons on MLML that he was left to fend for himself in this world of swords, sorcery, and forearms.