17

Jungkook

The sunlight shone on my face and I squeezed my eyes tightly against the glare. Turning around, I winced at my body's soreness, felt my forehead crease in confusion.

Why did my soft, cuddly bed feel so hard?

I blinked a few times so my eyes could adjust and came face to face with the bottom of the couch in my bedroom.

A yawn escaped from my mouth and I groaned, I crossed my arms over my chest. I rubbed my eyes to get rid of my sleepiness.

Turning my head to the side, I saw Taehyung's jacket lying next to my face. I frowned in confusion

and slowly brought my hand to the jacket, running my fingers softly over the fabric.

"Hmm," I hummed as I tried to think back to last night, feeling strangely disoriented.

Why am I holding his suit jacket?

As soon as the thought ran through my mind, I quickly sat up, dizziness rushing through me.

My harsh breathing filled the room and last night flashed before my eyes.

I was worn out, tired of constantly thinking about the past.

Tired of fighting my demons.

Feeling numb, I brought his jacket to my chest, holding it there as I closed my eyes. I hated my nightmares. When I escaped, the first few nights were horrible. I could barely get any sleep. But then for two nights, I didn't have any nightmares.

I felt hopeful.

Last night, all that hope came crashing down around me.

I was so naïve to think that I could escape such a horrendous reality. Shaking my head at my stupidity, I stood up and stumbled toward my bathroom.

I didn't even look at myself in the mirror. Instead, I walked straight to the shower and let the warm water cascade over me.

The warmth began to seep under my skin and my muscles relaxed. I stayed under the spray longer than usual, trying to gather myself again.

Closing the water, I stood still for a moment and closed my eyes.

Stay strong.

Don't break.

Don't show weakness.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes again and stepped out of the shower.

Stay strong.

Don't break.

Don't show weakness.

Quickly drying myself, I dressed in the same clothes I had been wearing for weeks now.

My black dress.

When I was finished, I glanced in the mirror, looking at my reflection in silence.

My eyes were red and puffy. Tiredness was written all over my face. It didn't come as a shock to me. The face in the reflection… I had seen it a million times. Looking exactly like that.

Stay strong.

Don't break.

Don't show weakness.

I walked away without a second look. Taehyung's suit jacket remained on the floor, where I had left it before.

I bent down and took the jacket in my hand.

I was trying so hard to avoid what I felt last night.

There was no way to describe it.

No words.

I never felt that way before and I was still trying to wrap my head around it.

Peace.

That was what I felt.

In the middle of yet another panic attack, Taehyung's jacket brought me peace.

He brought me peace.

How was that even possible?

My mind was a mess when I walked into the kitchen, where Jimin and Hae-sook were waiting for me. When I walked in, both of them gifted me with genuine happy smiles.

"Good morning," Hae-sook said, standing by the sink.

"Good morning," I mumbled, trying to act as chirpy.

"What are you doing with that?" Jimin asked, pointing at the jacket in my hand.

I ran my hand over the soft fabric before replying, "I forgot to return it yesterday. So, I'm going to

return it now."

I felt like I was in a daze.

Jimin took a big bite of his apple. It took them some time and when they were done the kitchen was quiet again. Hae-sook had left and Jimin and I were alone.

"Hungry?" he asked.

I shook my head and leaned against the stool.

"Not really. Maybe I'll eat later."

"Okay," he said in an adorable, childish tone.

He started to chew loudly with a teasing expression on his face then gave me a wink and did another bite, he moaned out loud.

Someone cleared their throat.

My back straightened and I turned toward the sound only to find Namjoon leaning against the doorway.

He was only staring at Jimin, whose eyes widened when he saw him and his cheeks turned red. Jimin blushed and averted his eyes. I looked back at him and saw his lips tilt upward in a confident smirk. I saw him adjusting his pants, I looked away, embarrassed.

Namjoon cleared his throat and said, "Is Hae-sook here? Taehyung is looking for her."

Jimin shook his head and continued to stare down at his plate. His hair fell over his face, hiding from Namjoon's view, I saw the tiny smile creeping upon his face.

"Okay then," he said, and he left the room.

Jimin looked up, his expression softening, I heard his sigh. A dreamy sigh.

"Jimin?" I asked, my tone filled with questions.

He turned toward me and bit down on his lips before letting out a small giggle. Jimin stared at me for a few seconds before nodding, confirming my suspicions.

"You and Namjoon...? Jimin...?" I asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

"Hmm… About six months. I couldn't resist him any longer, I mean, just look at him! He's so sexy, so dreamy. He's perfect. I just… I don't know. I couldn't stop myself," He shrugged nervously.

"I'm swooning, aren't I?"

"You are," I replied, laughing. He was so cute.

"He's so hot, Jungkook!"

Well, I couldn't deny that he was indeed good looking.

"And he's good in bed. Like really good," Jimin added, leaning closer so he could whisper.

"He is a beast."

"Jimin! I didn't need to know that."

"I was just telling you," he mumbled.

We stared at each other, then smiled before bursting into a fit of giggles.

It felt good to laugh. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so free. Looking into Jimin's smiling eyes, my laughter died down and my nose started stinging. I could feel the tears at the backs of my eyes but I didn't let them fall.

I never realized that being happy would make me so emotional. Maybe it was because I never experienced friendship, laughter, or happiness. But Hae-sook and Jimin showed me kindness that I never thought existed.

And I would forever be grateful for that.

Leaning forward, I touched his hand, "Thank you," I whispered, my voice a little hoarse.

Jimin tilted his face to the side in confusion and then asked, "What for?"

"Just… thank you for being my friend," I said, not wanting to elaborate. I realized I had just made my first friend at the age of twenty-three.

How pathetic was my life?

Looking down, I tried to hide my tears. But when Jimin squeezed my hand, I looked up again.

He smiled.

"You don't have to thank me for that, Jungkook."

I squeezed his hand and then leaned back. That was how we spent the next few hours. We talked, laughed, and joked.

"Oh, god," Jimin gasped, "I'm so sorry, Jungkook. You were supposed to rest and I lost track of time."

He stood and wiped the counter clean.

"Hey, it's okay. I had fun. I enjoy talking to you."

"Still. You should go rest now or I'll never hear the end of it from Mom," he said, rolling his eyes in exaggeration.

"Well, you are right about that." Laughingly, I gave him a quick hug and he pushed me toward the door.

"Go! Go! Go!"