16

Jungkook

When I told him I was sorry for his loss, I was afraid he would be angry.

He'd been right when he said it wasn't my fault. My father had killed his mother. If my father wasn't apologizing for his mistakes and wrongdoings, then I would. It had become my burden to carry.

I was living in Taehyung's home, depending on him, he had no idea I was his worst enemy. I might be personally innocent, but my blood wasn't.

I wished I could have told him the truth but he wouldn't understand.

Nobody would, not even Hae-sook or Jimin.

They saw my family as an enemy, but what they didn't know and wouldn't understand was that I had become a victim and I suffered too.

I didn't want to suffer anymore.

I wanted to be happy.

I couldn't tell them the truth—not ever.

I understood what it felt like to lose someone because I had lost my mother. I didn't remember her but I still mourned.

Taehyung confused me.

One minute he was kind, and the next he was cold and angry.

I pulled his suit jacket tighter around my body, it felt warm from his body heat.

The smell of his cologne touched my nose and I let out a sigh. I stayed on the hill that overlooked the large back garden, beginning to relax. From where I sat, the view was stunning. The garden bloomed with various colours, each flower part of a scene that reminded me of a painting.

A huge water fountain, bigger than the one out front, dominated the landscape. It looked so serene.

As I stared at the majestic beauty, a sense of peacefulness encompassed my body and I felt light.

I waited for a few more minutes, basking in the blissful surroundings, then I stood up, feeling stronger than before.

Holding Taehyung's jacket tight to my body, I made my way back to the house.

My steps were light and unhurried, I touched the soft petals of the flowers as I walked by and smiled.

When I reached the kitchen, I walked in to find Hae-sook and Jimin sitting by the bar, their expressions downcast. Hae-sook looked up when I came in and quickly jumped off her stool.

I pulled her into my arms and gave her a tight hug, stepped back and smiled nervously.

"I'm sorry about your loss. I am sorry for reacting the way I did. I had a panic attack, I…"

I licked my lips and swallowed past the heavy lump in my throat. "I… I lost my mother too. It… makes me very anxious. It was pretty emotional hearing about Taehyung's mother, I was mourning for his loss too."

Hae-sook smiled sweetly, her eyes kind as she stroked my cheek.

"It's okay, honey. You must be pretty emotional after everything that's happened. Why don't you have lunch and then go rest, all right?"

When I nodded, she stepped away and turned to Jimin, who gave me a pitiful look.

"Jimin, call in the other maids," Hae-sook said. "It's time to serve lunch. Taehyung and the others will be coming down soon."

Jimin took his phone out and quickly typed a message before putting it back in his pocket. He linked his arm through mine, pulling me toward the stool.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry about that sudden meltdown."

"No, it's okay. Understandable," she replied.

Soon, the other maids arrived in the kitchen, each of them took something to serve on the dining room table and I asked to be excused and went to my room.

When I got to my bedroom, without even removing my dress, I went to my bed and balled under the warm, soft comforter.

I was very tired, my body felt heavy and languid.

Sighing, I turned toward my window.

The curtains were open and I had the perfect view of the sunset. I watched the sun go down behind the back garden. I watched as the sky changed colours from vibrant reds mixing with oranges then after a while it'll be a blending of light purples and blues. The magnificent beauty took my breath away.

This could make such a beautiful painting. I could already imagine the large canvas smeared with alluring colours, creating a soft and peaceful landscape.

As the sky turned dark, my eyes started to get heavy.

I yawned and blinked drowsily.

Darkness surrounded me as I succumbed to my fatigue.

"Shhhh. Don't make any noise," he said harshly, clasping his hand over my mouth as I struggled against him, "Don't move. It'll be over quick. You won't even feel anything."

I tried to scream but no sound came out.

I fought against him but it was no use.

He was unmovable.

No.

No.

Please no!

He brought his hand down my bare legs and slowly hitched my nightshirt up. He spread my legs open with his knees and settled between my thighs.

Sobbing, I continued to struggle but it did not affect him. When he reached my underwear, he ripped it open without a second thought, baring me to him.

"You are mine! Mine! It's about time I take you," he hissed angrily.

I heard his zipper open and I tried to move my legs together but his knees stopped me. His hand stayed on my mouth, stopping any sound from escaping. He moved over me and then I felt him near my entrance. I wanted to scream.

"It'll be over soon, love," he said into my neck, placing wet kisses along the length, biting hard and torturing the skin with his teeth.

I went numb and stopped struggling. When he noticed me going limp, he laughed in my ears. Thefear that I felt was indescribable.

I didn't just feel it.

I could smell it.

It was all around me.

My heart beating hard against my chest.

Hot tears spilt down my cheeks.

When I felt him push inside of me, my heart cracked into a million pieces.

Pain.

So much pain.

I was blinded by pain.

It felt like I was bleeding from the inside.

My skin burned and my whole body spasmed violently. All I felt was deep agony.

I cried out against his palm and to my horror, I found myself paralyzed and unable to move.

Pushing deeper inside of me, he growled.

"Fvck. You are so tight. Made for me. I own you."

His loud pants filled my ears and that was all I could hear.

It hurt so bad.

Everything hurt.

My body.

My head.

My heart.

My soul.

When he stopped moving, I didn't feel anything.

My body felt numb.

Crippled with pain and fear, pulling out of me, he removed his hand and placed his palms on the mattress on either side of my face.

He leaned over me and smiled.

"Happy sweet sixteen, love."

I would never forget that smile.

It was forever etched in my memory.

I woke up trying to scream and shot up straight in bed, covered in sweat. I breathed heavily, my heart pounding hard against my ribcage. The veins in my neck throbbed and my head ached.

I felt hot.

Too hot.

I was burning and my body shook violently with silent tremors.

I could barely breathe. Quickly scrambling off the bed, I stood and paced the room.

Unsteady with dizziness, everything around me blurred.

My ears were making a strange stinging noise and then everything was muted.

"A nightmare. It was just a nightmare, Jungkook. Just a nightmare," I told myself.

But it wasn't just a nightmare.

It was my reality.

My truth.

Images flashed through my head all at once and I fell to my knees.

It was too much.

I closed my eyes against the blast of agony that went through my body.

Burying my face in my hands, I sobbed.

The pressure built in my chest and my stomach heaved.

I felt empty inside.

My tears were never-ending and I began to gag. My whole body shook as I bent forward and dryheaved. I laid down on the floor, curling into myself as I continued to weep. I thought I ran away from my past, but it followed me. Even though I was no longer in Byungchan's trap, he still held the strings.

I just wished for once that I could live without fear.

Just once, I wanted to be free.

I wanted to scream.

Rage at the unfairness bestowed upon me.

But I couldn't.

I wanted to forget, I was stupid to believe that I could be happy.

My reality would always follow in the end.

My weeping turned to jerky breaths as exhaustion overcame me.

Opening my burning eyes, the first thing that I saw was Taehyung's suit jacket on my sofa chair. Without thinking, I crawled toward the sofa and grabbed the jacket. I buried my face in the fabric and cried silently.

When my tears and hiccups finally died down, I slumped against the sofa and took a deep breath, once again I could smell Taehyung's cologne, I began to relax.

I didn't know why or how but his smell calmed me.

I breathed into Taehyung's jacket. Other than his cologne, I could smell him. And that was enough to make me feel safe again.

All I wanted to be at peace and even if it was for a little while, I had found it.

I didn't question it.

I didn't want to. I just accepted it.

Lying down on the floor beside the sofa, I curled into a ball and pulled Taehyung's jacket close to my chest and buried my face in it.

That was how I fell asleep again.

This time my sleep was free from nightmares and Byungchan's evil grin.

All I felt was peace.