month 4 part 2

l waited...and waited... and waited for Martins to come back downstairs but he didn't.

One hour past, 2 hours...I even started getting scared.

Finally, he came downstairs. His facial expression didn't look motivating.

" H..how did it go?" I asked nervously.

He didn't say anything for seconds. I began to panic .

" Just...let him be for a while... he's... he's not in a friendly mood right now".

I wanted to cry...I was worried.

" Just when everything starts going fine and then I ruin it as usual" I said sadly.

" Its not your fault, he's just in a bad moon and you're always catching him in those moods" he explained.

" But...did he say anything about it ... like about me" Martins paused and tried to arrange his words.

The way Martins usually acts , you'll know he knows a lot of things but he doesn't wants to you.

He scratched his chin and said,"uhhh you know what...give him today to himself, go spend the night with Suzie or something... just give him space... he'll be okay"

My voice broke into a pained whisper.

" I have given him more than enough space that he could ever want, after every argument I travel very far away from him so that he could take the pleasure in having his space and peace... what else do you want me to do"

I was putting Martins under unnecessary pressure because even he didn't know what to say again.

"It's ...I'll leave" I said again .

I carried the rice and was about to put it in the fridge and saw Martins pouting.

I laughed...he just cleared the tension between us.

You know for a 24 year old guy I expected more than that.

I dropped the food in front of him and he pounced on it.

" Godddd... Grey you have no idea what you're missing" he moaned as he ate the food.

I was happy that at least he liked my cooking.

I started walking towards the door and he said," oh and Bella, could you please tell Suzie to answer my texts that she should please stop ignoring me"

I grinned at him and started wiggling my eye brows at him.

He started blushing," no no no ....it's not what it looks like..I'm serious"

"Sure it isn't" I said and continued grinning.

" Bella I'm serious" he whined.

But I had already left the house closing the door behind me.

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I thought Martins said that he just needed a day off and he'll be fine, a day turned into freaking 3 weeks.

He was up before I was and didn't come back to the house until late midnight and he wouldn't even sleep in the same room with me.

I asked Martins if he closes late and he said he didn't that he usually left work by 4pm .

I started having creepy thoughts like maybe he was seeing another woman or maybe he was hanging out with this Kenzie girl or something.

But I quickly pushed the thoughts aside.i was worried sick and it was driving me crazy.

I was tired of calling Martins and was tired of coming to wail in Suzie's house almost every day.

My mother called once in a while to check up on me and I had to lie to her  telling her that Grey and I were doing well.

I was tired, frustrated, I was tired of bugging people with my issues..I was frustrated because Grey was just avoiding me.

Just some weeks ago in the pool I opened up to him a little and now we're like strangers... again.

I regretted telling him what I told him that night.

What was I even expecting from him when I was telling him those... sympathy??

And what's that going to do for me... change my past or what?.

I was going to give up trying...I was tired of fighting my nemesis fate.

This was me telling it to do whatever it wasn't to do. I had given up.

About few minutes past 7pm, The door slowly opened and Grey walked in.

I waited for him patiently to take off his clothes, have his shower and then settled on the bed beside me.

Then I dropped my phone from my hand and stared at the ceiling.

"Grey?" I called.

Silence...

"Grey?" I called again.

"Mmmmm?" He answered without looking at his phone.

"Do you usually hate or dislike people?"

He seemed not to have expected the question. He looked away from his phone and I could feel his eyes on me even without looking at me.

"Hate" he answered.

" So how much do you hate me?" I asked calmly.

I knew he wasn't expecting that question from me.

He sat up slowly

" I don't hate you" he replied.

" Of course you do... please don't try to pretend like you don't" I said calmly still looking at the ceiling.

" I don't hate you" he replied again.

" Then why are you avoiding me... ignoring me... making me feel like I'm worthless and irrelevant to you... why?"

He didn't say anything.

I continued," sure I know...I'm not the girl you wanted, I was never the girl you wanted, sure I'm not even in your class of people who you want.

But at least try and treat me like I'm human.

You didn't want to marry me neither did i, you were given a choice to chose I didn't.

You asked me to turn you down In public...I couldn't but you could... you don't know.... what my step dad would have done to me if I didn't say Yes... you'll never know.. you'll never understand.

You also had the power to stop the marriage why couldn't you? Why didn't you just save us the stress of having this conversation right now and giving me hard time and sleepless nights thinking of what I would do to at least make you get along with me.

On your birthday...I put efforts Grey... fucking efforts... just to break the ice between us,. But you just chose to build a stronger brick wall between us.

I mean maybe my best isn't enough for you but I'm trying.

You keep playing rollercoaster rides with my mind...one second you're a normal nice guy being cheerful and all .. another second you're cold.. insolent and rude.

I'm human Grey and I have emotions...I have feelings too..

And I'm sorry if I came into your life and sabotaged it all and made you break up with your girl friend and made Mrs Benson leave I'm sorry I had to bring my messed up ass into your perfect life ruining everything..

I'm.sorry if you have to tolerate me ...but if you don't want to try and make this relationship work then go ahead....tell your dad we can't work out....tell him of how much you can't tolerate me.

Tell him you can't do this anymore so we can't both relieve each other of ourselves and move on .

Because of fucken tired of trying... trying over and over and over again.

The thing is...I liked that man I met in a hotel bar some months ago,

I liked the conversation we had, and I thought that that man will like me too, but I guess I was wrong."

I ended the talk and finally  finally looked at him.

I was afraid...I was afraid of what I Saw...I was afraid because I had never seen this part of Grey before.

His expressions were always difficult to read... especially this one.

"I'm just gonna give you the space you want... good night Grey... and I'm sorry" I said finally and walked out of the room closing the door behind me.

I got out of the house and into my car and called Suzie.

"Uhhm...uhhh...do I have anything to keep me busy?" I asked

" Grey again?" She asked worried.

" Naa.. not actually... just want to get busy again"

I lied, but she knew I was lying.

" How soon do you need the appointment?"

" Tonight" I answered.

" Tonight??? Are you crazy Bella?"

" Ok then, tomorrow...till whenever" I answered.

"Ok then tomorrow" she said.

" I'm coming to spend the night in your house" I told her.

"What?? No no no..not tonight...I have a uhh... guest" she said almost immediately.

I gasped" is it Martins?????"

"What?? Noo it's not- OMG what are you even saying???" She shrieked.

I laughed...I laughed so hard that my mood changed.

"Alright... enjoy your night Suzie...oh and send my greetings to Marts ok?" I said jokingly.

"It's not Mar-!!"

I didn't let her finish...I cut the call laughing.

Then I stared back at the building contemplating whether to go in there or not.

I shouldn't...I should give him his space... his privacy.

And I didn't want to go back to my own house.

I called one of my friend who was a bank manager and told her to book a room for me for the night.

Then I went there to spend the night.

Sorry it's a short chapter...

I promise to make the others longer.

Ceejhay ❤️