Chapter 26

Forgery? Could I make up the duke's signature? Do people use cursive? I didn't see any in the books. Wait, would they need as proof? A piece of paper? A heirloom? I think it would be better to get the latter. So I should probably raid the former duke's bedroom. I'll just hop through the window! Now where is it? If I ask a servant that might look bad. I'm sure Miquel will know!

10 minutes really? Why was he hiding in the armory? Or the room that's probably the armory? There are lots of weapons scattered around. Spears galore and spare swords are everywhere. Eve is just chilling in the corner sheathing and unsheathing a sword. Why did Miquel allow her to hold one?! What if she gets hurt? He called me irresponsible? Also how did he not notice me enter? You would think he would be on high alert after the show he put on. Does that mean he actually has faith in me? No! He definitely has faith in me! Right as I walk up to them I hear Miquel say.

"Shh! Eve please be quiet for a bit. I think someone entered the room."

"It's me."

"Eve don't panic! But I think they have Maximus as a hostage."

"I'm not a hostage!"

"Eve run when I tell you… Eve don't go towards him!"

"Hi Eve!"

She just runs up to me and says.

"Take me out of here, it's dirty. But I'm keeping this sword! It's mine now!"

So I respond with.

"I will give it to you later after I safely proof it."

"But then I can't stab people!"

"Exactly."

"Fine! But only if it still make the shwwwii~ sound."

"Alright! But you do know that noise is the sword scratching the sheath, right?"

"It's a immtimidation technique."

"Intimidation."

"That's what I said!"

"You said it with an m."

"No!"

"Just make sure to say it properly in the future."

"Ok."

"So you did say it with an m."

She just goes silent. I started to walk Eve out of the barracks, after I confiscated her sword. Just for Miquel to rush out from behind a sword rack and swing his sword wildly. Attempting to cut everything in the way, the racks, the other weapons, and the floor. I quickly move both me and Eve away. After around 10 seconds he stops and rapidly looks around. His eyes land on me and Eve. He looks both disappointed and glad when he sees us. Of course I take this chance to mock him!

"Did you kill the bug?"

"Y-yes! The bug… that's what I was aiming for!"

I see. He is truly just a dumb*ss. Sometimes I think that he might have some brains but then he goes and spoils that idea. When we first met he was talking eloquently, but after reading a few books in the study I now know that it was just common etiquette. They have more books on how one can go about starting a sentence well than different types of cutlery. Which is saying something. But many of their books conflict with each other, some say that it's silverware, not cutlery or there are 3 types of spoons, when there are 5+.

Oddly it closely follows the system of British etiquette. Thanks to my father for giving me a grandma. Wait. Does God have a mom? Ohhh! My dad is my dad and my mom is my mom! But God is a third party! So my family was having a 3 way! So I'm not 50% god. I'm 33.3̅% god, this is going to get complicated fast. Because I decided to adopt Eve once she accepts me. Would that make her part god? Or would she be the adopted daughter of god. This is really odd.

I should get to choose right? Because I'm the only person whose ⅓ god ever, right? Back to grandma etiquette! She made me call her Grammy and she beat it into me! You put your elbow on the table? Staved by a fork! My… who was that? My… uncle! Whose name was… was… it doesn't matter he had scars on his elbows from his bad habits. She taught me to "speak like a robot" as she put it. Basically being well spoken, is just repeating fancy words in different ways, which makes it sound inhuman.

Shoot! Off track! I still have to either forge documents or find one of Eve's family treasures. I bet everything I need is in Eve's fathers bedroom! Maybe there will be a safe with lots of money that I can use to help fund Eve. It's not cheap to pay for great teachers. But the one Eve has now is definitely working hard enough to get a raise!

"Miquel? Can you lead me and Eve to her fathers bedroom?"

"Y-yes!"

He is still messed up because of his mistake? Never mind he deserves it! If I want the best person in the world Eve could have gotten hurt! She immediately starts to lead the way. We arrived in front of a dark wooden double door with a keyhole. I attempt to open the door but it is sadly locked. So I use the next best thing. Gravity magic! It should hopefully work just like a battering ram.

"Eve please step back and Miquel please come over here to help me."

"I will stay back with Eve."

"Tch."

Maybe he is smart. Anyway I condense a ball of gravity magic in my hand and push it toward the door. The door flies open and I get sent back sliding into the other side of the hallway. I can't believe I forgot gravity magic has recoil. After taking a second to recuperate I walk into the bedroom. Inside there is a large bed, a desk, a few paintings and a statue of a naked girl.

"Eve! Don't come in yet!"

"Why?"

"Because there are some traps in here! I need to keep you safe!"

"Ok…"