Dilemma with Leah

I was now running home after finding out it was a Sunday and I'd been under for a few days - You'd think they'd have told me as soon as I woke up, right?

Anyway, I was running and at the same time dreading the chat with Leah. I may have said all that stuff to Edythe, and trust me, I was telling the truth, but actually having to do it was quite nerve-wracking. The fear of the unknown and what Leah might say...was very prevalent in me right now.

I guess it's what I deserve for what I've done and the actions I've chosen but seriously...why do emotions have to be so complex?

Thinking such thoughts over, I continued running absentmindedly before finally, I got to the front of my house.

Taking in a deep breath, I unlocked the door and tried to sneak up the stairs.

Tried, being the main word there.

"Alex?" Bella peaked her head around her door before her eyes widened at my new silver hair, "Alex! What happened to--!" I cut her off with a hand clamped on her mouth while I made a shushing motion with the other.

"Shh! Shut up, Bella," I whispered intensely at my idiot sister, before carrying on in a quieter whisper, "It's a Lycan thing, okay? So, play along with me when I tell dad that I just dyed it, okay?"

She nodded her head before motioning at my hand with her eyes, so I took my hand away and let her speak.

"Where were you then? Edward wouldn't tell me or let me see you...so you better tell me, Alex!" she looked menacingly up at me with that stubborn look of hers, and I just smiled before rolling my eyes.

"Didn't I just say that it's a Lycan thing? I was fine, so don't worry, sis," lying, I shrugged off her suspicious look before walking into my room.

When I got inside my room, I let out a sigh before searching through my drawer for the piece of paper Leah had given me. I quickly found it with my sense of smell, the paper having a tiny amount of blood on it from the murder I committed on that night.

Flinching a little to the memories that came to me, I pushed past them before bringing out my phone and tapping in her number. My finger hovered over the dial button for a short time before I pushed it firmly and brought the phone up to my ear and closed my eyes, taking deep breathes.

Whatever happens, she deserves the truth. Remember that, Alexander.

Telling myself that over and over again as I listened to the slightly repetitive dialing tone before finally, a voice responded to me.

"Hello? Who's this?" Leah's voice seemed a bit down and I felt guilty I'd have to make her day worse if it was already a bad one.

Coughing to make sure my voice wouldn't crack, I replied, "Hey Leah, it's me, Alex," I paused for a second before continuing, "How are you doing?"

As if some energy was injected into her, Leah answered almost instantly, "Oh! Hey, Alex," her voice sounded excited and happy but she dialed it down as she continued, "Ahem, uhh, I'm fine, good...what about you?" her voice sounded cute when she tried to play it cool but I stopped myself from getting distracted and answered her.

"I'm doing good, just been busy the past few days. I had a run-in with a Vampire and I've been recuperating from it, so I didn't get a chance to call you earlier--" before I could carry on, Leah's cool facade dropped as she worriedly fired questions at me.

"A Vampire?! Are you okay?! Do you need me to come over or something?!" she paused her worried shouting for a minute before calmly but intensely saying one more question, "Was it those goddamn Cullens?"

Oh no. That's not very good.

Quick to interrupt her, I answered her, "No! I mean, the Cullens helped me get the Venom out of my system. The Vampire who attacked me seemed to have just gotten here. Though he's not around here anymore if you get what I mean," trailing off, I quickly carried on before she started asking me more questions, "Leah, are you free today? Because I need to talk to you. You can ask me whatever you want to when we meet, or rather if we meet."

"Uhh, yeah, I guess. I'm free but I'll have to get ready and everything...so we could meet in an hour? But where?" she spoke with a confused tone and I couldn't blame her. One second we were talking about Vampires and the next I was asking her if we could meet up.

Smooth, Alexander. Real smooth.

"Sorry if it's a bit sudden...there's just something we need to talk about," I said this before replying to her question, "We can meet in the woods - the place you first found me 'exercising'. In an hour sounds fine with me as well."

"Okay, I'll meet you there in an hour," she started, clearly a bit excite which sent another pang of guilt through me, before she carried on, "See you then, Alex~!"

With that, she hung up and I put my phone down as well, letting my head fall into my hands. Sighing with frustration, I wondered if this was a Lycan thing or not, but in the end, I just slapped both hands on my face before speaking to myself.

"Enough with the pity party, Alex...Just do what you can, and live with the results of your actions," psyching myself up, I got up and walked over to my door and flung it open, only to see my sister with her ear up against where my door used to be.

She looked at me before nervously chuckling, "So, you got into a fight with a Vampire...?" her nervous look developed into a slightly angry one as she stood on her tip-toes and poked a finger accusingly into my chest, "And you didn't think to tell me?"

Rolling my eyes, I knew I should have guessed Bella would try and find out what had happened; this was just how she was.

"I didn't say anything because I knew you'd get all Private Investigator on me and ask me for all the details," I put my hands up in mock surrender, "I was just saving myself the trouble of having to be interrogated by you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and take a shower before telling Dad I dyed my hair," I lifted Bella up and out of the way before walked past her and closing my bedroom door.

I headed toward the bathroom feeling the need to get rid off the stench my body had created over the last few days of just lying on a table, dreaming.

. . .

Waiting.

That's what I was doing right now, and I've got to say, this has to be the worst part about situations like this. The time when I could go over all the ways this situation could go. How it could go good or how it would most likely go bad.

The feeling of your heart being in your mouth and your stomach turning knots are both feelings I very much don't like, and ones I'm feeling right now.

But I've had both my hands broken by the collision of a van, so this uncomfortable situation isn't too much to bear.

Hearing a twig snap next to me, I looked over to see Leah looking at me weirdly. Or more specifically my hair.

Grinning, I answered her question before she even said it, "It's something to do with what I am. So what do you think? You like it?" I laughed as I saw her smile at my jokey take on my new hair.

"I don't know, I think I liked you better with brown hair...but I can get used to this," she went to come over and hug me but as much as I wanted to hug her, I needed to talk to her first, so I stopped the hug which made confusion and worry spread across Leah's face.

I looked down at her and weakly smiled before answering her confusion, "I think you need to hear what I have to talk about before you try and hug me, because after I tell you...you might not want anything to do with me anymore, Leah," I spoke, my voice cracking at the thought of her hating me.

Her eyes widened even more in worry and she backed up a bit.

"What...W-what do you want to talk about, Alex?" her voice was a bit shaky but she kept herself composed toward the end of what she was saying.

Letting out a sigh, I continued to look into her eyes as I spoke, "I have feelings for you, Leah," her eyes were full of confusion at why that was a bad thing, and joy at the fact I had feelings for her, but I carried on, "But I also have feelings for another girl."

Her face froze before a multitude of emotions went over he face. Anger, annoyance, frustration, jealousy, more anger. It was like a slideshow of emotion before finally, she settled on determined jealousy.

"Then it's easy, I'll make you choose me over her, Alex," she said with such determination I felt bad to deny her. But I had to.

"And what if I said I didn't want to choose between either of you? That I wanted to be with both of you?"

She scoffed with a slight disgust in her voice, "Then I'd call you a greedy bastard."

Grinning, I nodded my head with a grin, "And you'd be right to do so," I said in a slightly self-deprecating tone, "But it wouldn't change the fact I want to be with the both of you. Though that seems impossible at this point," I trailed off, holding back the frustration in my voice.

It went silent between us, me waiting for Leah to speak, and Leah thinking about the entire situation and what to say. But in the end, it didn't take long for her to speak again.

"Who's the other girl?" her voice was still jealous but the undertone of curiosity gave me some hope but that hope was crushed when I thought about how she'd react to what I'm about to say.

But nevertheless, I sighed, and answered her, "Edythe Cullen. A Vampire," I turned to Leah just in time to see her eyes widen in shock and disgust.

"A Vampire?!" she shouted, "Alex, are you crazy?! They're not even alive anymore!" her outrage was very clear but it didn't really affect me - I knew she'd react like this and I'd prepared myself.

"Physically Alive? No. But mentally and emotionally as alive as me and you? Yes. They're still sentient beings, Leah. You can't disregard them just because they're different from us," I gently said, to which Leah growled and shouted her reply.

"Why a Vampire, Alex?! If it were a human, I could have maybe put up with it, but a Vampire? No way in hell!" she went to storm off but I caught her wrist and hurried spoke to her.

"Leah, just stay and talk with me. Please," I pleaded to her, "Just stay. I know how your tribe is, but I want to know what you think, not what the tribe or pack thinks."

She pulled her wrist free, glaring at me, but the sadness in her eyes was clear. She just looked at me before finally her eyes filled with tears and they started rolling down her cheeks.

"Why...? Why did this have to happen?" she choked out, "I've...I've loved you for so long, yet some Vampire comes along as gets to you before me...why?"

Shocked at the revelation that Leah had...'loved you(me) for so long' as she put it, I felt hard-pressed on what to answer with, so I tried to lighten the mood a little. Because I'm an idiot like that.

"Maybe you waited just a little too long to bump into me lifting rocks in the woods?" I nervously chuckled and Leah laughed through her sobs as she hit me on the chest playfully, her eyes glaring at me.

"I don't want to hear that from you, you idiot," she sadly smiled up at me before it disappeared and she looked up at me with a serious but sad face, "I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want, Alex. I hope you and the Vampire are happy together."

She went to run off again but I stopped her like last time before turning her back around to face me, "No. I don't want to lose you, Leah," I hurriedly said before grinning mockingly at myself, "I'm selfish, I get that, and I'm definitely greedy," I paused, laughing lightly at what I said, before continuing in a more serious tone, "But I do sincerely want to be with the two of you. I'm willing to try my best to make it happen and until either or both of you don't want anything to do with me, I won't stop trying. I just want you to think about it, Leah. Think about it and get back to me. It won't be easy and there will most likely be arguments, massive ones, but I want to try."

Letting go of Leah, I saw her look at me before she shifted and ran off.

I can only hope she listens to what I said and thinks about it. I've done all I can. Now I have to wait. The plot will be advancing some more soon. I have to make sure I'm ready.

I'm sure learning fighting styles and martial arts will keep me distracted.

(A/N - Any of you expecting this relationship stuff to go without a problem should probably stop thinking that's how it's gonna go. It's gonna take a while for it all to get sorted out.)